All my son can say is Judiths Mam thi... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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All my son can say is Judiths Mam this Judiths Mam that.

mollyanna profile image
13 Replies

I had foot surgery on Sunday 28th Oct ,Bunion Removal .Managed to get upstairs when I got home and have been up here ever since ,I was warned by the physio the crutches could cause a massive flare. so am trying not to use them much ,although I think i must try and get down stairs tomorrow. I ache from just lying around back ,hips, pelvis, ribs ,neck. legs. I feel like crying. My son called today seems his mother inlaw had a toe straightened two weeks ago, which is a different operation altogether . but Judith's Mam this and Judiths Mam that, felt like bloody screaming she doesn't have fibromyalga and her operation was not the same she didn't have a cast on her foot. I really feel he thinks more of her than he does me. I wish my family would read about fibromyalga and try and understand what, WE all go through they have no concept at all .

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mollyanna
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13 Replies

Oh Mollyanna poor you! I am sure we can all relate to how you feel at some time or another. If it isn't a teacher knowing more than mum, it's someone else! Not a good thing to say to us is it when we are feeling wretched! I do sympathise with you.

I am sure your son loves you very much and doesn't mean it, he probably doesn't even realise the context in which he is saying these things. It's great that he gets on so well with his mother-in-law, that's a plus on the subject. However, as mums we want to feel more important don't we. I would feel the same. It feels worse for you (and no I won't use the name!) because the mother-in-law doesn't have Fibro, she doesn't experience what you do on a daily basis.

A lack of understanding in families about Fibro certainly doesn't help us, it is a big problem trying to promote Fibro awareness isn't it. Have you tried showing your family The Spoon Theory, I found that helped my children, hubby, mum and also friends understand exactly how I was feeling and what I had to cope with, how much my life had changed. I have posted a link for you about this under my message. Hope it helps. :)

Take care of yourself Mollyanna, you aren't alone here, we all understand how you feel. Please feel free to offload whenever you feel like it, you are amongst Fibro friends here. :)

Here's a hug (((hug))) xx

Here is the link for The Spoon Theory from our main site -

fibroaction.org/Articles/Th...

mollyanna profile image
mollyanna

Thank you for your kind words Libertyz. I Just felt the need to sound off ,I feel lost, I have only just joined the group and was only just diagnosed in June, although have probably had Fibro since 1988 and was told it was the menopause and would be better when I was Fifty.I was put on HRT which seemed to make symptoms bearable or maybe they just become the norm.I was taken of the HRT in January and have been in a nasty flare ever since. So thank you once again and thank you for the hug I am sending one back to you xxx

Thank you for your hug too, it helps doesn't it! :)

Please feel free to 'sound off' whenever you need to, we will all listen here, we all understand. Sometimes it's just too much isn't it, hearing about someone so "normal". Being in a flare since January is horrendous for you, have you spoken to your GP about this, this is far too long to cope with heightened symptoms, more pain etc.

I hope you manage to see your GP soon, I personally think it's the best thing for you to do to help ease your symptom so your flare wanes and hopefully you will feel better.

Please let us know how you get along, take care. Here's another hug for you (((hug))) xx

irisjoy profile image
irisjoy

Hi Mollyanna , when i was in hospital having my pelvis sawn in half ( left side) bone grafted twice and moved back into a new position and a new socket made i wasn't in really bad pain, however the ladies that had bunion ops were. the nurses sais that they were one of the most painful ops they do so its not the amount of work you have done that matters , warm hugs and i hope you have a speedy recovery x

mollyanna profile image
mollyanna

Bless you that must have been agony,hope it is mended now. and warm hugs for you .I have to say I have had gall bladder removed ,and a hysterectomy back in the day when they cut from the belly button down I was the first on the ward walking upright and helping nurses were I could. I have never had pain as bad as this Bunion operation and thank you for caring.xx

mollyanna profile image
mollyanna

My GP has been wonderful I went to see her with a sore throat this turned out to be acid causing ulcers on my throat, My Thyroid levels needed adjusting Then she asked if there was anything else I wanted to talk about so I opened up and told her the lot, She is just qualified and new to the practice ,she asked why I didn't go and see about things like constipation I have had for 20 years and just took laxatives and managed it myself .plus other things.I told her because nobody listens and it becomes the norm,She did loads of tests sent me for an endoscopy all came back normal as usual .It wasn't until I was telling my daughter about the pain in my chest that was sore to touch and she said Fibromyalga Mum have a look on the internet . I looked and it was like looking back over my medical history I could not believe what I was seeing.I printed it of and took it with me to my next appointment .I asked her do you think I could have this because I suspect I may have ,She looked at my notes and said I think you are right she put my medication up there and then.and sent me for a diagnosis. She has been wonderful and very caring and always ask's if there is anything she can do to help.xx

Sthandra profile image
Sthandra

Get well.soon Mollyanna and great big gentle hugs sorry to say this but I would ignore what he's saying about bla bla this and bla bla that and just consentrait spelt that wrong on getting you better best wishes and another get well soon plus more great big gentle hugs. Sithy

mollyanna profile image
mollyanna

Gentle warm hugs to you thank you for caring .Think I will try and get down the stairs xx

ArctoLindy profile image
ArctoLindy

Sorry you're having to deal with all that on top of your op! (((Big huggles)))

I had several years of this with my son, he preferred the company of one of his friend's families to spending time at home, the novelty did wear off but it was very hurtful for a while.

mollyanna profile image
mollyanna in reply to ArctoLindy

Yes it is extremely hurtful, but I know things will never change as he has been married for twenty years and and they have three children,when the eldest was born I was told in no uncertain manner by my daughter inlaw he would not be calling me Nan as my other grandchildren do as it was in her words Naff . I feel as though I was never good enough to be a grandparent ,they have one Gran and I am the spare.

ArctoLindy profile image
ArctoLindy in reply to mollyanna

Thats awful! (((hugs)))

Dixiesdaughter profile image
Dixiesdaughter

Hi mollyanna

Hope your recovering well from your op my friend had a bunion removed last yr so I know just how painful and disabling this procedure can be. It doesnt help that others see it as a 'minor' proceedure so are'nt very sympathetic!!

As for your son he is exhibiting very normal behaviour;think back to when you were younger everyone elses parents were way cooler than yours, earned more money, had a bigger and better house, car, dog, goldfish..... Lol although this is hurtful rest assured mother-in-law will one day morph into monster-in-law(usually when the grandkids arrive)and he will get his just desserts lol

Take care of yourself rest up heed any advice youve been given by hospital in regards to your recovery and hopefully you will be back on your pretty bunionless feet soon :-)

Dixie xx

whitecross profile image
whitecross

Hi Mollyanna,

I had 2 ops in September and have found that having fibro has meant the recovery is a lot slower. So be very gentle with yourself and give yourself lots of time for recovery..

As for family ahhhhhhh!! none of mine are sympathetic and do not understand at all, feel so lonely at times, they never help and expect me to carry on as normal : (

I have just found a local support group their next meeting is on 11th feel a bit anxious about walking into a strange environment but keep telling myself to be strong as this is some positive thing in my life .

take care xx

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