Jealousy Over Potential Pregnancy Announcement

[BleuM]

Hi All

I think my sister is going to be announcing her third pregnancy anytime soon, I’m so scared of my feelings this time round as it was after her second child that I started trying. He is in school now and I’m still waiting. I love my sister and her children so much and I’ve never been jealous of her but I’m scared how I’m going to cope when all I can think about at the moment is having my own child. Any advice?

Sending baby dust to you all 👼

[HollyT7]

I was upset, annoyed, disappointed and angry with them. Still feel resentful when I hear them now, I think it's because I feel as though they really don't know how lucky they are to get pregnant naturally, and we have our rainbow and another on the way, both frosties.

In my option, there is no preparing, you can't stop how you'll feel when/if the announcement comes. Best tip, allow yourself to feel however you want, there's no right or wrong way to how you should feel, just let your emotions be as they are, have a cry if your upset, eat cake if you feel angry, whatever makes you feel better! You just do you and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about that xx

[BleuM in reply to HollyT7]

I’m sorry you felt that way, make me not so scared if I feel the same way. Thank you for the advice 🙏

[MariaHdz]

What has helped me is not comparing myself to them. Sounds silly but it worked for me, so I think: I want my own kid and not theirs, so anything that they say has no effect on me, because I don't want their life. I don't even want their pregnancy, i want mine. So, good for them, but it is unrelated to my process. Also I don't compare myself to them, because we all have different lifes and different struggles and challenges, in different areas. I am sure I have things they want and can't have, such is life. Life has hardships in different stages of life (sometimes when you are old, sometimes when you are younger). Be happy that they are happy now, because you never know what comes next. .i know people that found out they had advanced colon cancer just after giving birth. I know friends that can't pay or even access fertility treatments (they would say that they are very jelous of us and our chance). Life challenges us in different ways. Their happiness, is unrelated to your process and doesn't make it less possible for you. Cry at the unfairness, punch a pillow, but then see that these moments are not common, and maybe you can be also happy for them, because their process is not yours.

[BleuM in reply to MariaHdz]

You are so right, I don’t compare myself to them or others in any other parts of life so why should this be different. Thank you 🙏

[MariaHdz in reply to BleuM]

I was also feeling very bad about it... but it was that realization that made me feel less sad and even happy for them. Good for them! now what we want is our own babies and for our own process to be good

[BleuM in reply to MariaHdz]

Yeah it makes you feel like a bad person but I guess you can’t help how you feel and there is no ill intention. Yes 🙌. Sending all the baby dust I can to you 😃