I had a fresh transfer with NHS in July which resulted in BFP but I had a miscarriage in September, it was my second miscarriage. In the end we were told we could go for FET after 2 cycles, so in December if the period arrived by 01/12 (due to the clinic closing for Xmas).
In the meantime they did some tests for recurrent miscarriage which came back normal. Tests on the miscarriage tissue also came back normal. They said all was fine and we could go to book our FET.
I asked to speak to the doctor as I wanted to know:
1. What tests they did exactly as I had no idea
2. If he could give me some meds (baby aspirin, heparin, anything that could do no harm) just to help me feel better and “to do something different” since I had 2 miscarriages.
At this point they cancelled our appointment for the booking for FET saying “it’s better you speak to the doctor first”. I did not agree, why couldn’t I book my FET first and then speak to the doctor? It made no sense.
I waited 3 weeks to have just a brief conversation where the doctor confirmed he was not going to add any meds at all and probably the miscarriage happened by “chance”. So much waiting and it was totally pointless.
I got my period yesterday, it was a miracle it started on time by 1st, I called to tell them and they said they had no space for me for FET this month! I just can’t believe it!
This means I don’t just miss one month but two because my next period is due on NY weekend.
I am so sad and can’t make sense of this. The waiting is the hardest part, it’s just cruel 😞
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UGH. I’m sorry. This sounds so so infuriating and upsetting!
Could you call them back and explain that you had an FET scheduled and they made you cancel it, telling you it would be fine to rebook after your consult? Surely they could fit you in.
Hi! I’m here only for few weeks and loved reading your messages as they gave me info I ignored until now. I read your message and made me so sad and for this reason, I have decided to write this comment to let you know that this is so unfair and you may probably have to contact senior staff of this cruel people to address this issue although it’s late for you as you said, it would help someone else if this was going to happen to them…
This sounds so frustrating and upsetting, after what you've been through too. I think you're with the NHS and not private? If that's right it's bad but doesn't surprise me too much sadly - I was so grateful to get funding but they were so stretched when we were with them and we had delay after delay, no updates - it took them 5 months to give me a follow-up call after my early loss, by which time I'd gone private and had a collection and transfer. They also had at least a 3 month wait for FETs and no flexibility.
You could complain like mad and see if they'll fit you in - i didn't start FET meds until day 4 of my period (and actually it was more like day 5 or 6 as I spotted heavily and they said just pick a day when it was heavy as day 1 as what they want is thin lining and 'quiet' ovaries). Also if you don't have a problem with your lining, the first two week's are about oestrogen to build that up so you may still be able to start on progesterone around the right time. Just a thought. Same goes for the next cycle - it didn't matter for me that I didn't start exactly on day 1 so maybe if you asked them when they reopen after NY and book it in for then - you may be a bit late anyway, depending on your cycle or from my experience, starting meds a few days later is fine.
Re aspirin - my consultant said he wouldn't prescribe it for my FET but it couldn't hurt and he was fine with me taking one a day so I think you can just add that if you don't have any medical conditions or are on meds that would make it a problem.
Otherwise, the wait is hard but perhaps if there's any silver lining, you can have some sort of break from treatment and try and relax a little over Christmas, so you're in the best mindset to start again x
Thank you for sharing your experience. I have to say I had to wait only one month to start my first IVF on NHS so I guess I was very very luck. I am also lucky that they did these tests on me and on the miscarriage tissue for free, as I was not yet eligible after “only” 2 losses. So I have plenty of praise for them, just struggling to understand why they cancelled our booking. I guess I am just angry at the things that get in the way!
We have an appointment tomorrow just to book the FET, I don’t think they will make me start as I will be on day 4 already. I didn’t know you could start meds after day 2? It’s too late now because of Christmas anyway but it’s good to know. I’ll probably to Italy and spend the holidays with my family. I hope you are doing well x
Yes, the NHS clinic and staff were great on the medical and care side - it was just the delays, and they were so stretched they never had time for queries and I do seem to remember something about them being more strict with day 1 which made it more difficult if it fell on a weekend. I had plenty of issues with the private clinic which I didn't expect when paying so much, but they were much quicker and more flexible. Maybe that's why I could start FET meds later - but it didn't make a difference as I got a BFP, plus some women have natural/natural modified FETs which makes me think the oestrogen isn't crucial if your natural levels are ok and your lining's good (I certainly didn't need it and had to reduce it right down before the FET and then come off it). So maybe something to ask even for interest, but NHS clinics seem to be less flexible.
I hope you get to see your family and enjoy the time x
Unfortunately the reason I am doing IVF is I don’t ovulate properly so I need to be on medicated FET and probably have to be precise with the day I start treatment.Probably their rules are more strict than a private clinic, I am not sure. I will definitely go see my family and hopefully the time will go quick! x
Crikey, I’m so sorry the clinic have let you down so badly. All the build up to be let down plays with emotions and it’s so unfair. Hopefully the silver lining will be a nice Christmas time for you to relax and unwind in preparation for your FET. About baby aspirin- I had the same query as my doctor wouldnt prescribe it without doing tests which they also wouldn’t do healthunlocked.com/fertilit... if you are healthy, the general consensus seems to be that it’s ok to self prescribe it. I did take it on my last transfer and i got my first BFP.
Hi, I’m so sorry. It’s tough enough without this. I was due to start my FET in November but had to cancel due to work related stress (my employers are trying to get rid of me bcos of the IVF which I’m fighting). I’m also having to wait until the new year which is so upsetting. Long story short, my clinic don’t take on new FET between 1st and 18th of Dec, are you sure that your clinic won’t allow you to start around the end of the month? I absolutely agree though they should make sure they fit you in to avoid delay under the circumstances. Take care and all the best xx
Thank you. In the end they said I can start with my next cycle as they are open for the NY! At least I can start straight away after Christmas! Are you doing it in January? x
I’m so sorry for you. That is heart breaking. Just suffering the MC is the hardest thing with that hope you had from the successful transfer. And it’s so annoying when things like this stop it. I feel really sorry for you. But if you’re getting your period on NY won’t they be open by 14 Jan around when you need to transfer? Could you book it for Jan?
You know, when I read your message yesterday I thought you might be right! I was convinced I couldn’t start the preparation for FET without an initial scan and I panicked they would be closed for the NY but they are open! So I am having s period at the end of the month and they booked me in for around around 14th as you said! Thank you xx
Sorry to hear your frustration. Our clinic also closes for two weeks at Christmas and 2 weeks in summer and it’s a nightmare trying to get appointments. This is one of the really annoying things about doing cycles with the NHS. Also, pre covid our clinic would give you a provisional appointment for the following month if they were full for the month when you first phoned on the day of your period. Post covid, you just have to keep calling every month until you get lucky and they are not already full on the day you call. I put a complaint in and said the system was incredibly unfair as some people were getting lucky and depending on when their period falls and what protocol they’re on they were getting an appointment the first time they called while others were having to call for months to get in. I got told there were no appointments 3 months in a row with our last cycle before I lost the plot. Maybe your period will fall a day or two later at new year and it will work out. Good luck!
Oh wow that must be so upsetting! In the end I am booked in for January, they gave me the medication to start when my period arrives. Thank you x
I am so sorry. Your clinic sounds so much like mine. They have such strict processes and procedures. I have been telling mine I needed to get scanned pre FET asap in the year since February as I thought I would need surgery.. but they wouldn't do until a certain step in the process (the month before you start once you have the drugs bought etc). so 7 months later I finally get scanned and surprise I need surgery and then at least 6 months until I can do my FET. it is MADDENING. I don't know why they can't flex and be a bit more empathetic. I find the bigger clinics are the worst and they just manage people as numbers.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you that Christmas sends your cycle wonky and you get to start in Jan xx
Thank you hun, I was freaking out they needed to scan me before starting but they said no, I can start medication and they will can mid January. Starting to feel excited and VERY scared.
I am so sorry for what you are going through, so you have to wait 6 months now? That’s heartbreaking. How are you coping?
I'm so sorry, admin nightmares. The rigidity sometimes takes your breath away. As there isn't much you can do, try to just enjoy your time in Italy and come back with a renewed sense of purpose. Ma soprattutto, coccolati e fatti coccolare da tutti il più possible. E portami della mozzarella di bufala .. quella buona. 😉😘
Hey! How are you doing? In the end they are open after Christmas and they won’t see me until mid January but they gave me the meds and as soon as I get my period I can start! Che paura ho gia!
Booked up a week in Turin at my brother’s and a week in my hometown with my parents. It should keep me very busy until my FET in January!
Mangerò anche per te, soprattutto la mozzarella visto che sono campana 🤣
Ugh I know!!!! My clinic was exactly like this. Making me jump through hoops that ended up being unnecessary (i.e. unnecessary hysteroscopy that they don't even do as a clinic, so I had to rush to find another private clinic would do this for me without me being a patient there), but wouldn't let me book in for treatment in the future, and in the meantime they then get booked up for the next two months, and I was like well you could've let me book in for this! And putting in doctors appointments that they previously said weren't needed, and that putting treatment back a month. It's infuriating!! Each month is an important period of time! I don't know what to suggest other than ranting about it! I can't believe that clinics don't understand the emotional turmoil this causes.
So something similar happened to you too! I started to think I was overreacting but you are right, since the egg collection I feel like each month is such a long period of time, I really feel the separation from by embies, how crazy is that! Luckily I can do it in January so I planned Christmas in Italy and then we go for it! I am so scared but trying to be positive! x
This happened to me last year. I was all ready to go in June 2020 for full fresh cycle if wanted to go private, but they said if wait until October we could have it done on nhs. We waited and October came and went. In November the clinic couldn't tell me when we could get seen on nhs so we decided to bite the bullet and go private, but because my period was due 4/12 I missed the cut off for Christmas. I was devastated and last Christmas was awful (although ultimately a blessing in disguise as husband caught covid and we were in isolation for most of December).
I made sure we had the medication in ready to go and when my period came on 1/1 we were able to get started. My little boy was born on 4 October 2021. If we had gone on an earlier date we may not have had him. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I have everything crossed for you x
When I read your message yesterday I thought: how much I would like to replicate it!Today they booked me in for FET with my next cycle as they are open for NY! This means I have a scan mid January and then the transfer soon after hopefully! I hope I will be as lucky as you are! x
Aww am so sorry about your delay 😭Honesty it sucks when you have got prepared 😩. Listen if you feel strongly about trying something else you have to advocate for yourself. This is your cycle and your embryos remember that!
I swear a few things helped me this time and aspirin is one of them. Very early days for me but I am further than before xx
Thank you for your message. I would like to try aspirin, I will ask my doctor in Italy too, here the NHS consultant said I don’t need it as nothing came up in the tests for recurrent miscarriage. What aspirin is that? I feel like I need to try something different! x
Try and speak to them and ask if you feel strongly about it. I was told to take it because of past thrombosis. I take a baby aspirin daily. You would have to listen to your doctors on there reasons for giving or not giving it. But definitely ask them xx
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I can't believe that clinics don't understand the emotional turmoil this causes.
OTD negative , heartbroken 
Heartbroken 
FET- cant loose weight! 
IVF success that ended in miscarriage
3 miscarriages
