Devastated to be here again, tested 2 days ago and again today (OTD). It was the first time I ever tested early but I knew in my heart this transfer was unsuccessful. I knew the odds weren’t great, the two embryos were 2 days and not graded but you still hope .
My husband and I have taken this one very hard. Feeling very low and scared to face the reality of us never having our own baby. And my heart aches for my husband. Financially it’s also taking it’s toll, will be a struggle but we can go one more time.
I’m in the Epsom area, undecided about changing clinic or staying with the same place.
I’ve done 4 rounds there now. It’s Nhs but I’m self funded
1st- failed to implant (not very good quality embryos)
2nd -cancelled just before egg collection due to poor response & polyps
3rd- Got pregnant but early missed miscarriage (good embryo quality)
4th - Negative so failed to implant
I’ll know when I ring the clinic today they probably ask me to continue meds for another 2 days and retest . But I’m not going to, there’s no point. I’ve been spotting for days and negative tests. I just want my period to come now so I can have closure.
Feel sick the thoughts of giving up, don’t think I’m ready to and dread the day that I may have to.
Thank you to everyone for your support x
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Rol81
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I am so sorry, lovely💔It so heartbreaking and bloody unfair. If you decide to give it one more try, maybe you can try steroids to improve ovarian response (there is a post on my wall related to that)..Deep inside I know the steroids did the trick, not only with implantation (I have high NK cells) but also with the egg quality. Good luck and feel free to contact me if you have any doubt or question.💫❤️
Hi @rol81.. really sorry to hear its devasting. We did 5 rounds and all sorts of immune treatment. A word of caution with steroids ... I actually feel these hindered my ivf cycles as we ended up have 2 rounds with nothing collected. If you want to improve egg quality ask for human growth hormone instead. If taking steroids maybe do a frozen transfer so that they don't affect hormones for the actual collection of embyros.
Also .. not sure of your history but have you had a laparoscopy done? You may have silent endo that you are not aware of that is hindering implantation.
Really praying your next round is more successful x
I’m so so sorry to read this. 😔 It’s just not fair at all. I hope you can find some calm today and that you and your husband take care of each other. I’m here if you need to chat. Sending big hugs xxxx
I'm so sorry to hear this, IVF is a truly draining and heartbreaking process at times ❤️
I am 43 and had to face that my chances of success per round were less than 10 percent (I asked the clinic for a figure). The clinic said it was absolutely possible and that they would support me if that's what I wanted, but they also suggested to consider donor eggs.
At first I was very unsure, but the more I looked into it the more it made sense - and your success rates go up to 70% per round. I chose this route as I just felt strongly that my life was completely on hold while I did IVF, and I made a decision that I didn't want that to be my life for the next few years.
It's not for everyone, but I just wanted to let you know that there is still this alternative if you haven't already considered it.
Hi Rol. I truly am sorry to see the outcome of your test, I know you've been anxious and convinced it hadn't worked. It's awful going through multiple cycles just not knowing when it will be YOUR turn. I am in the same position but with different experiences (some similarities) along the way so very much empathise. Sometimes it is worth consulting with a new clinic, a consultation doesn't put you under obligation but you can at least get a second opinion and see what they make of things so far and what they would do next. Take care of yourself xx
Hi Skittles, thank you. The thoughts of changing clinic stress me, the added pressure of travel/ trains and I suppose fear of unknown. I know everyone at my clinic now and they all know me 🥺 but maybe you are right . I’ll just get through the emotions the next few days , pick myself up and start again . Big hug to you. Thanks for all your support xxx
I completely get that and you have to do what you are most comfortable with and what gives you the least stress. This is already a stressful situation and so any additional stress is not worth it. Once you've got through the next few days see what you think. One of the things I found useful about consulting another clinic was they were willing to try some different things (initially anyway) however you are quite right and sometimes what you benefit from in one sense causes a stress somewhere else (for me my travel was increased and I was reliant on trains). It's all a question of how you can best get to your end goal with the least stress and that's a tough one to answer xx
I was exactly the same as you and wanted to change clinic but was very overwhelmed by it all especially the travelling to appts that are so far away for a quick scan or blood test. So I ended up staying with the NHS but paying privately. I took steroids in the end (separate from my clinic) which I think made all the difference for me xxx
It’s just awful. I’m so sorry for such a devastating outcome.
I highly recommend at least getting second opinions elsewhere.
We had success on our first ivf cycle.
But then went private to try again 1 yr later. We had two dismal cycles with a local private clinic.
And then got 2nd opinions (x3).
We chose a clinic in London who we felt gave us a new & fresh approach, listened to our concerns & addressed them plus had good ideas for what to do next. We did have to travel but most of our appointments were virtual.
It was our best cycle by far. I really felt we’d given it the best shot. Ultimately it didn’t work (age related poor egg quality) but it gave us answers and peace.
We have gone egg donor route (which I know is not for everyone & no judgment).
But my main message is 2nd opinions are essential and may give you a way forward with hope. You need a new approach to make sure all bases covered and to hopefully give you some answers . All is not lost xx
So sorry to hear this, it's so hard to keep going and only you will know what feels right in your heart but give yourself time to grieve before making any decisions. Thinking of you x
Thank you, yes OTD is Friday. I want to test early but my partner is a stickler for the rules so he doesn't want me to ... Either way I have to keep doing the same stuff till OTD I guess so may as well wait. x
I'm so sorry ❤️ Some people around me think that in time it gets easier when in reality every time is more and more difficult to carry on. But you've got this! Take some time to grieve and be kind to yourself and don't forget how strong and amazing woman you are to be fighting this hard battle! Sending millions hugs and lots of strength your way ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's absolutely not fair.
May I ask if you've had the same protocol every time? It might be worth getting a second or even third opinion via video call from a different clinic just so you can have some solid suggestions to bring back to your own clinic for next time (if you don't want the hassle of moving clinics).
Hi x thanks for your message. My protocol has changed slightly each time. Mainly this last one, where I added hydroxycholiquine for NK cells and fragmin blood thinners. And they changed the progesterone type . I’m hoping they’ll give me a follow up consultation soon and hear if and what changes they suggest.
But you’re right , I think I need a second opinion xx
I'm so sorry to read this. Every time it fails it hits us harder I think. You don't sound like you're ready to throw the towel in and as others say, even just chatting to another clinic might focus you on certain things or they might come up with other ideas. Take some time to grieve what's happened and then you can think about your next steps xxx
Thanks, I was feeling really crap the last few days and a bit emotional today but I know I’ll go again. Regardless of what the outcome is I know I’ll never regret not giving up . But I’ll be a bit miserable till after my period comes and then try get positive again xxx
I'm so sorry ❤️💫 thinking of you. Nothing can ever prepare you for a negative. Sorry to your husband to.
I wanted to mention as your in Epsom (I'm from Surrey) I know there is a really good private clinic there with a top consultant who specialises in reproductive immunology. It's not cheap but they are meant to be very good and may be worth looking into. A nhs fertility nurse recommended them to me as well as a few people on here. I didn't end up using but have heard very good things. Wishing you all the best ❤️💫❤️ take time to greive xxx
Really sorry to hear this ☹ Sending kind thoughts to you and your partner. You have been through so much. Hope you can have some time to process it all💔
So sorry to hear this hun! 😥 I know it's so heartbreaking. Sending lots of love and hugs 💗
Is it possible for you to go abroad maybe for next time? We did 3 cycles locally (expensive) and then switched to a cheap package clinic (who also do a lot of the immune tests / treatments), and it really helped us for peace of mind financially. Their fresh look at things really helped too, I felt a lot more hopeful xx
I’m so sorry to read this.. It is really devastating going through the whole process without the outcome we want. Always remember you are not alone as many of us on this page have been through or going through what you are going through right now. Don’t give up hope. Sending hugs 💕
Thank you so much. My husband and I have kept this to ourselves for years so this forum has been my lifeline. Thank you and everybody for my messages, it helps me lots xxxx
I am so sorry to hear it’s not worked for you .It’s just devastating isn’t it …. I don’t think it gets any easier to be honest . I had my 8th transfer 3 weeks ago which ended in another Chemical .
I would speak to your doctors and see what they are willing to change next time for you .
People of here suggested steroids was the answer to their BFP, I pushed for this with my clinic but they wouldn’t offer it to me . Annoying really as it was our last 2 embryos ..
I think you need to just take time to be together and decide what’s the best for you .
Thank you and I’m so sorry for the tough time you are having too. It feels such a lonely time but there are so many of us suffering 😞I actually emailed my miscarriage clinic yesterday , I’ve told them I want to discuss steroids. Have a phone consultation on 11th Sept and I’m going to really push for them. xxx
I am so sorry to read this! I had my OTD negative last week three times - I tested early, then on the test day and then they asked to retest in three days. It is heart breaking and soul crushing. Allow yourself time to grieve. And then you will hopefully find the strength to get back on your feet and try again. Good luck! xx
I feel your pain. I finally got my period today and it was a welcome closure because you can't help but wonder, what if the test didn't detect it...Hang in there! xx
Hello Rol81, I’m so sorry, I know how devastating it is. I’m in a very similar situation to you, I’m the same age, have had 3 cycles so far, about to start 4th. I live near Epsom and we’ve just been deciding whether to move clinic or not. I’ve also been having similar feelings to you about the whole process and finances. If you would like to chat, please message me xx
Don’t end your meds early! I tested negative all the way up until my OTD day! Only got my first extremely faint positive line the morning of. The date is chosen for a reason.
Apologies. I misread that. So sorry. I had the longest hardest road getting to my positive. It’s such a cruel process. Sending you all the positivity for your next round. 💜🙏🏼
Hi hun I’m so so sorry to hear this yes I know it’s an incredibly difficult cruel journey I’m 41 and did 7 rounds of IVF 6 of them were not successful only the 7 the round has worked I had twins but sadly lost one at 8 week I’m now 15 weeks pregnant with my little miracle…..so don’t give up hope hun your time will come xx
Ah thank you so much, it’s the first time I’ve nearly lost hope, the fear of it never working is feeling too real. But everyone on here is really helping me and your story is giving me hope. I’m so sorry how awful you’ve had it the last few year, and losing one of your twins I really hope the rest of your pregnancy is stress free ❤️❤️
Sending a virtual hug your way. My heart breaks for you. If you have it in you keep going. Try and be positive and take deep breaths. We are all here for you ❤️❤️
Hi xx thanks for your message. Everyday I’m feeling a little better. In a few weeks I will start to be focused again and explore more options, so yes, please DM me re: Greece xx
I’m so sorry, I do know how it feels but don’t think that you’ll have to give up. There is always a way - that’s what I told myself when I was in the same position as you. It will be possible one way or another - I totally believe that. Sending hugs and positivity xx
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I really hope the rest of your pregnancy is stress free ❤️❤️
FET Negative Result - heartbroken. 
Another negative
