So my friend at work took me aside the other day and told me she was pregnant. She said she wanted to tell me before I heard off anyone else as she’s only 7 week’s. This friend knows of my fertility struggles ect. I congratulated her and said I was grateful that she told me.
I started my first round of IVF in January which was a BFN and then due to Covid treatment was delayed. I finally had my frozen embryo transfer in June which was also BFN..I am now paying to go private and will hopefully start again in 4 weeks. I just can’t help feeling how unfair the whole situation is as my friend got pregnant without even trying. Anyway, this friend moved offices temporarily yesterday and I feel bad saying it and guilty but I’m kind of glad that she’s gone so I don’t have to hear updates of her pregnancy. I don’t want to sound like a bad person but it’s so hard when you want something that comes so easily to others😢
Aww lovely. Bless your heart. My family member just gave birth and i postponed it as much as i could but had to go out and buy presents and will be visiting. For the last 9 months ive heard every development and every complaint and in that time i had two miscarriages. (In private).
I had many days of breaking down. When wrapping the little clothes i couldnt stop my tears.
So what im trying to say its normal to feel the way u feel lovely. X big hug
I think the work place will defo be my trigger. I’ve just turned 40 so most of my friends have had their children or don’t want any so the only pregnancy announcements would be from work..a place where you spend most of your time😩sorry to hear of your struggles..it’s so tough this journey 😩xx
I had the worst happening to me. I had a friend who I shared my fertility struggles with and she would ask me all these questions because she had a miscarriage, so she would ask me about acupuncturist and the doctor, and the progesterone levels and tablets. And I even bought her a book. Only to find out that she knew she was pregnant the entire time and she was using me as a source of information to keep her fears at bay. They told us at almost 4 months pregnant. Never felt so used and humiliated. Needless to say I wished her and her husband congratulations and then kept away from her. I cried for weeks.
How awful to use you like that..you did the right thing staying away from her. I regret telling people at work about my fertility struggles..when my first transfer failed I had to face everyone at work. I’ve learnt my lesson now..I only tell the people who need to know such as the managers..for appointments ect xx
Don’t feel bad you’re happy she’s gone, it’s perfectly natural to feel this way. It’s so awful that we can’t have what others get so easily, for fun and for free. I sat next to a lady at my work who had 2 unplanned pregnancies during my struggles to conceive. The first I was ok with but the 2nd hit hard and knowing I had to sit next to her each day was torture. It was also hard to remain professional (I was her boss), I am only human. When she eventually went on leave I was a lot happier. I’m totally over apologising for needing to put my needs ahead of others for the moment, it won’t be forever. Xx
It’s awful infertility..the struggle is real☹️. I know I need to put myself first and try and not feel guilty at the same. Sorry to hear about your BFP..the first few weeks is tough but you’ll get there xx
I m really very sorry for you that you passed through such pain and I m fully understand because being childless for years I suffered alot specially from family when after talking every one come to this point"any good news"?? And question made me like it is all my fault..they shouldn't understand that good news never hide 🙈I m praying that Almighty give healthy babies to each childless girl😜 this year amin... Don't lose hope dear whatever is our destiny will come to us inshallah 🙏🙏💖💖
It’s also annoying when people ask if I’ve got children and their reaction when I say no😕. I find it best now to say I struggle to have children and then the conversation soon changes..thanks for the kind words and congratulations on your BFP 😊xx
I know exactly where you're coming from and don't feel guilty. You've congratulated her and have been lovely.
I had a similar situation as a work colleague who knew of my struggles did the same. She told me before anyone else as she didn't want me to find out via a big announcement. I thought it was very sweet. She stayed in the team and all talk was about her pregnancy. Whilst I would never begrudge her at all and loved to hear her enjoying it all, it was still an absolute killer for me and there were some very lonely days. So I completely get why you'd be feeling the way you do about her going to another team. I'm also the only one on my team (all women) without a child, so as you can imagine mist of the chit chat centres around children. I feel so alone at time 😔
This journey is so hard and one that only people going through it will understand. That's why it's good to come on here and vent about things. Sending you massive virtual hugs. Xx
That must have been really difficult for you. My office is the same..all women mostly with children..I can deal with that. Hopefully it will get easier! Thanks for your kind words and good luck xx
I can totally relate to this. I also work in an all female team and the conversation a lot of the time relates to babies and pregnancies. I dread every time a pregnancy announcement or 'whos next' conversation comes up. I also wrote a post recently about my close friend telling me shes pregnant..i was so upset initially. 2 weeks down the line i can think about it without crying. I feel so sad on so many levels. Even the fact people can just get pregnant the normal fun way while we have to go through loads of big ordeals , invasive and uncomfortable procedures just to have a tiny chance. Feeling like failures and our partners too. Youre not alone in your feelings we all understand here xxx
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Sending you so much love and hugs. 
insensitive friend 
Insensitivity never ceases to amaze!
Help with colleague
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