Kicking myself.

[Mannjj43]

Evening all. How do we pick ourselves up and carry on? Back from a post transfer holiday today that I started to bleed on 4 days ago, a week after my 3dt. I was told to up my progesterone by my consultant, but I'm just kicking myself because I'd had some light spotting a few days earlier and not emailed. Now I'm so upset that I might have been able to save my lining if I'd increased my progesterone earlier?! I stupidly thought it might be implantation bleeding and am just so cross with myself for not emailing my clinic. I've got high FSH and low AMH and it's taken us almost a year to get one embryo. Im 37. not ready to give up yet, but not sure how to carry on at the moment. Hate the person ivf is making me and finding it so hard to realise that all the injections/scans/£££/travelling and most of all hope, have led to nothing. Anyway, sorry to vent but just reached a new low and husband doesn't really know what to do with me. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have a 3 year old already-she keeps asking for a 'real baby sister' and I just don't know what to say anymore. Wishing everyone all the very best, xx

[Leesara]

Just read your post and don’t have the answer but wanted to respond to you anyway. Sometimes it’s best to take one day at a time and think about just the day you are in. Thinking of you

[Mannjj43 in reply to Leesara]

Thank you xx

[emu2016]

Don’t forget, if you’d have rung the first time they may have said see how you go and let us know if I doesn’t stop or comes back...

don’t be cruel to yourself; it’s a stressful enough wait as it is! X

[Mannjj43 in reply to emu2016]

Thanks Emu. Xx Ps loved the glam injection locations!! Fingers crossed for you.

[Hidden]

Please don't be upset with yourself about writing off the first lot of spotting. In addition to what Mrs Emu has said, it is entirely possible that the first lot of blood was too late for you to do anything. I always knew that my first lot of bleeding meant game over for that month. There was nothing more you could've done that you didn't do. The positive to take from this though is that you know next cycle you need more progesterone. A large part of this battle is knowing exactly what you need to help you. As upsetting as it is given how long it has taken you to get to this cycle, I can understand how much this is hurting you, but there is a small positive to take from this in that you are one step closer to knowing the support you need for the next cycle xx

[Mannjj43 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Jacqui- your message is really comforting and is much appreciated. Hope your pregnancy progressing well xxx

[Smang]

Hi Mannjj, I’m so sorry this journey is so difficult, it can be so emotionally, physically and financially draining. But as the others have said with each cycle we learn from it and that means then next time will only increase our chances. You should have a follow up appointment so ask them what went wrong and why you bled so early afte the transfer? Your medication protocol needs to be changed and/or maybe they need to transfer a day or two earlier? Be kind to yourself and take sometime to process it all xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I’m so sorry to hear you feel so down. Your clinic should have a free counselling offer which I would take up if I were you. Counselling really helped me.

[Flimzee]

So sorry to hear this, it’s such a disappointment and devastating when you have invested so much time, energy and hope into it all. I think it’s inevitable that we blame ourselves when something goes wrong, but try to go easy on yourself. It may not have been a lining issue and not sending that email sooner might not have made any difference. Take some time to look after yourself and you will know what to do when the time is right. Thinking about you xxx