It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Hope you’re all doing ok...or as ok as possible given the circumstances!
I’ve had a tiring few months, with a cancelled fresh cycle in November, when I was stimulated on a high dose for a fortnight but only had one follicle of a decent size, and another recent cycle, which also failed. I got to transfer stage so that was progress but despite two decent embryos being transferred, the same old bfn. I actually got my period three days before test day last Sunday. I was relatively ok during the week. I have a busy job so just buried myself in that. My husband and I even had a nice evening out- went out for dinner and a couple of drinks. But since Friday night, been feeling low. I think when I stop working, it all comes crashing in. I forced myself to go on a night away with some friends yesterday that we’d booked months ago, but really struggled. They both have children and there was a lot of family and baby talk, which I don’t blame them for- it is their life and it is hard for them. One of them doesn’t know about my Ivf- it’s not that I don’t want her to know but just couldn’t quite find the right time or words to raise it. But not talking about it all, left me feeling very isolated. Then, my other friend, who does know, asked me about it when we were alone. I got really emotional and it was late (we were sharing a room and it was when we were getting ready for bed). Feel like i put a big downer on things and it wasn’t fair on her, although she was very empathetic. Feel ashamed of myself 😞.And now i’m home and just can’t muster the energy to do anything- been moving around on the sofa all day watching rubbish tv and films....
I guess I’ve just got to ride it out.
Anyway, thank you for listening, and sorry for long rambling post!