It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Hope you’re all doing ok...or as ok as possible given the circumstances!
I’ve had a tiring few months, with a cancelled fresh cycle in November, when I was stimulated on a high dose for a fortnight but only had one follicle of a decent size, and another recent cycle, which also failed. I got to transfer stage so that was progress but despite two decent embryos being transferred, the same old bfn. I actually got my period three days before test day last Sunday. I was relatively ok during the week. I have a busy job so just buried myself in that. My husband and I even had a nice evening out- went out for dinner and a couple of drinks. But since Friday night, been feeling low. I think when I stop working, it all comes crashing in. I forced myself to go on a night away with some friends yesterday that we’d booked months ago, but really struggled. They both have children and there was a lot of family and baby talk, which I don’t blame them for- it is their life and it is hard for them. One of them doesn’t know about my Ivf- it’s not that I don’t want her to know but just couldn’t quite find the right time or words to raise it. But not talking about it all, left me feeling very isolated. Then, my other friend, who does know, asked me about it when we were alone. I got really emotional and it was late (we were sharing a room and it was when we were getting ready for bed). Feel like i put a big downer on things and it wasn’t fair on her, although she was very empathetic. Feel ashamed of myself 😞.And now i’m home and just can’t muster the energy to do anything- been moving around on the sofa all day watching rubbish tv and films....
I guess I’ve just got to ride it out.
Anyway, thank you for listening, and sorry for long rambling post!
Xx
Written by
MissyR
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I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling so down. Infertility can feel so lonely. I haven’t had your experiences so hope someone else else might have some more useful advice but you are not alone and i know how it feels to feel different somewhat to your pals. Hope you pick up and feel better soon xxx
Oh my goodness, don’t feel ashamed of yourself. I’m sure your friend isn’t sitting at home thinking how you put a dampener on things, she’ll be worried about you and wondering how you are, thinking of ways she can support you through this difficult time.
I’m so sorry about your failed cycles, you have been through so much these past few months. Self care at this time is so important for you. Be kind to yourself in body and mind. Counselling may be something you’d find helpful, I know it helped me greatly.
Sending you lots of love, take good care of yourself xxx
Thank you Dunla. I actually had my first counselling session last Thursday and had a positive feeling about it. I think you’re right that it will be really helpful. I’ve just read your posts and can see you’ve been through a lot too. I think you’re in your two week wait? keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you and hoping you’re doing ok x
I’m so glad your counselling appointment was a positive experience. I hope you continue to find it as helpful as I did. My big regret was leaving it for so long before I went, I think you were really brave to make the appointment. Good for you.
Yes I’m on my two week wait. Clinic on Thursday for outcome test. Fingers crossed we will finally have some good news, it’s been a long time coming 🤞🏻
Keep in touch and let us know how things are going for you ❤️ xx
Oh I wish I could just give you a big hug! Sorry that's a bit forward lol x ... but feeling ashamed seems so harsh on yourself! It takes huge courage to undertake fertility treatment basically you're like Bodecia! The emotional toll is so huge and no-one else can fully understand unless they go through it but I doubt your friend would want you to hide your true feelings... that's why she asked you...yes she asked you! She cares! I'd recommend that you speak to her again, and say how you feel now, but it can also really help to speak to a Counsellor. Try this website: itsgoodtotalk.com for a therapist in your area.
Sending hug and hoping you feel a little lighter soon x
Thank you and I appreciate the virtual hug! I’m feeling quite a lot brighter today and focusing on positive steps like the counselling. You take care too.
Hello there!!!sorry, to hear that you are suffering a lot.It's hard to cope infertility but doesn't worry keep relax your mind and think positive.I knew after failed cycles you became shattered and upset same as like me.Last year I faced such kind of things and becoming very low I feel that I die soon but when you decided to beat your infertility and became stronger you can do all impossible things possible.My IVF has failed for the 3rd time after emotional exhaustion I ready to give up all hope.but on the other hand, I realized that hoe much I and my husband wanted the baby so we try again with much positivity and luck.and now I am a mother of the beautiful baby boy.I knew you are feeling sometimes alone and completely losing hope but keep trying with better luck.and this time hopefully you can be the successful cycle.Stay blessed.Hope things going well now.Good luck.
My dear I can understand. It's really difficult I'm struggling too. After 1 egg collected in my last ivf which was immature. And this was my 6 th ivf . I've been left completely devastated. Don't know what to think anymore.ive lost d tiniest bit of faith in myself.
Do try and focus on something else and go for a vacation. I don't have any other words of wisdom
I just liked your comment but in fact I don’t like it- I’m really sorry and sad to hear you’ve had such a hard time too. You’re right about focusing on other things. I hope you also feel brighter soon. Xx
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so low. If all you feel like doing is sitting on the sofa, do it - do whatever you need to do to get through this. Take one day at a time, and remember that are not alone. we all know how you feel. Big hugs xxx
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... but feeling ashamed seems so harsh on yourself! It takes huge courage to undertake fertility treatment basically you're like Bodecia! The emotional toll is so huge and no-one else can fully understand unless they go through it but I doubt your friend would want you to hide your true feelings... that's why she asked you...yes she asked you! She cares! I'd recommend that you speak to her again, and say how you feel now, but it can also really help to speak to a Counsellor. Try this website: 
How long after a failed cycle did you have a follow up appointment?
Am I being stupid?
We fall and pick ourselves up again... 
Feeling ridiculous and annoyed with myself for feeling like this but need to vent.
Very much Depressed.. Be careful if you are planning to fly 
