Sadly today our scan showed that unfortunately our little bean has stopped growing at 7 ish weeks.
There was no more flickering of the heart and no yolk so they took the decision for me to stop all meds and decide how I would prefer to miscarry.
It's so heartbreaking to get to this point but after so much uncertainty there is a bit of relief there - at least we know now and can start to move on.
This was the last roll of the dice for us, and not how we wanted it to end, but now we have an end and I am grateful for that.
Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. I hope you all get your much wanted babas and complete your families, however that looks.
Much love xxx
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Millbanks
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so sorry to hear I’ve just finished on the same note and won’t be going away it’s not a nice way to finish I’m left with lots of regrets and questions but like yourselves have to move on, I have good and bad days I hope you recover as best you can over the next few weeks x
I'm so sorry to see this Millbanks I was looking out for an update today. I can really appreciate the mixed emotions of heartbreak combined with elements of relief to have further clarity - as the waiting is atrocious when you just don't know whats happening. Thinking of you and so sorry you are in this space x x
Thank you lovely, yes it's all those things - and a weird relief. I'm looking forward to moving on enjoying some wine over the summer instead of taking meds, injecting, popping suppositories.... Hope you're ok - really hoping this is your time xx
Thanks lovely, I'm sorry you experienced this too - its so cruel.
I think what makes it worse is that you can't just "try again" - so much goes in to each cycle, let alone the financial implications - so it does really feel very final. xx
I am in the same situation as you. Tomorrow I am going for 7 weeks scan and I already knows it didn’t grow since 6 weeks. The same thing happened last year when I tried first time for the second baby. I think I will go for surgery again this time. Just prefer to end it as soon as possible and live as a normal life. I thought the first baby was hard but the 2nd one is hard as well! Take care!
My HCG was so low at the beginning and they even thought it was eptopic pregnancy then asked me for a scan at 6weeks and the sac is inside but is far way small but they asked me to wait for another week to decide to stop medication.
I am so so sorry to hear this. It is so heartbreaking to see a heartbeat that then stops 💔😭 it is unimaginable pain. Not the way you wanted to end your journey. 😭 I wish you the best and truly hope you can find peace and happiness with your family you have ( I know it doesn’t make the pain any less 😭) I didn’t find the physical part of miscarriage too unbearable I had lots of heavy duty pads and disposable pants for the pain I found ibrofen and paracetamol sufficient. I also took iron pills as blood loss can make you feel dizzy. I was lucky my body miscarried naturally just after last scan we had where the baby was confirmed dead 😭 same point as you I think. It was more like a heavier period I had towels to prevent flooring with my endometriosis I tend to bleed more than other ladies might. I had my husband home to look after our daughters tho they kept wanting me they don’t understand. The emotional side of miscarriages is far harder than the physical aspect. If you are bleeding more than a pad an hour you must go to A and E. Again I’m sorry you are going through this pain Xx
Thanks Jess - and thanks for the info. I'll keep an eye on how it goes. Hopefully it'll just pass...
Yes the emotional side is rough - I think I've been a bit head in the sand about it all so I'm waiting for it all to bubble to the surface - probably this weekend while my husband is at work and I am looking after our toddler....
I'm so sorry you experienced this too - I hope you've been able to have some sort of recovery - it'll always be there though xx
Aw my love. This is not the update I was hoping for for you, I'm beyond sorry. Whst a cruel blow. You've absolutely done your best and done yourself proud. You've been through more than most would even dream of. Infertility is so cruel.
Sending you a huge hug and big thanks from me for all your support as always. My dms are always open xx
I’m so sorry. This journey is such a cruel rollercoaster. I hope you find some relief in finally having and answer and being able to move on.
After a blighted ovum at 7 weeks, I found the worst part waiting to miscarry after stopping meds. It was then easier to move on and start to make different plans. X
This update brought tears to my eyes Millbanks I am so so sorry, I was really hopeful that this would work out for you. This journey is so tough, and making the decision to stop is extremely tough, so I commend you for it. It’ll be an end of a chapter and you can enjoy your lovely son and other aspects of your life that you’ve had to put on hold.
Sending lots and lots of hugs your way. You have been an inspiration and huge help to many of us. As you’re aware I have an 8-year-old daughter and IVF just hasn’t worked for us at all, I’ll never know why. Here for you xxx
Thanks lovely. I think it's just the unfairness isn't it - but it's something we'll never know why. I'm so glad you have your daughter - we are so fortunate to have our little boy otherwise this would be extremely hard to bear xx
It does feel really unfair and none of it makes any sense. But like you, I feel really grateful to have my daughter. Having her around helped when I went through a very similar miscarriage to yours in 2021. I opted for the natural route. It’s not something you forget, but it certainly gets a lot easier with time. Here for you xxx
I’m really sorry to read this. Like everyone else, I was hoping for the best. What a journey it’s been - hope you enjoy all the wine this summer. I genuinely wish you all the best, you deserve it ❤️
I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending love and hugs to you and your family today. I hope you can take care of each other during this time. With each day, loss changes (I will never say eases) and it’s something we don’t forget. Thinking of you x
I’m really sorry Millbanks , I send you a big tight hug xx it’s just soul crushing , I hope you have good support around you xx try to do nice things to help you get through this xx
So sorry to hear this-your advice when I needed it is part of the reason I have my daughter so couldn’t just read and run. Thinking of you and really hope you get tons of support and love in the coming weeks.xx
My heart is breaking for you and I know exactly how this feels having been through it several times. This is not the ending I wanted for you. I’m so so sorry lovely lady. It’s not what you deserved. Thinking of you and sending loads of love xx
I'm so sorry to hear this news, Millibanks. My heart aches for you and the pain you're going through. It's incredibly brave of you to share this with us, and I hope you know that we're all here to support you in any way we can. I hope you find moments of peace and comfort. Your gratitude and kind words amidst such heartache speak volumes about your character. Sending you much love and strength, and hoping for brighter days ahead for you. xx
oh Millbanks i’m so incredibly sorry. You’ve been so kind with your sharing & I’m so sorry this is now the ending you’re sharing. Hope you’ve some time out planned & some soothing treats 💜💜
that sounds perfection - I hope the waves are soothing, the cocktails are plentiful and the rest restorative. You have been so kind with all of your sharing, I'm just so very sorry you didn't your IVF happy ending after it all <3
We are so lucky to have our little boy so I can't say it didn't have a happy ending - he really is a miracle - just would have been nice to have a second little face to see every morning. But I know there are still so many people on here waiting for that first little face, so I am counting my blessings xx
Did you opt to try at home first or medical management? Unfortunately a few of us in here who have experienced it too so please do reach out if you need any help as I know it’s quite daunting and lonely xx
Hi millbanks firstly im so sorry this has happened to you! About 1 month ago it happened to me as well so I know exactly how you feel, I was suppose to be 9 weeks pregnant saw strong heartbeat at first scan at hospital as I was bleeding so went for an early scan, then went for my first fertility scan strong heartbeat again but measuring a week behind I asked what are the chances of the pregnancy continuing and she said it could go either way and discharged us from the clinic, 1 week later had a private scan and no heartbeat it stopped at 7 weeks 3 days so had to go the medical route and take medication, it's a horrible thing I know but I hope you can move on eventually from this, lots of love xx
Oh love, I'm so sorry - my heart aches for you. I think what makes it so much worse is that we go through so much to get to this point. It's not like you can just "try" again after a loss. There is so much that goes in to it. I am feeling that keenly at the moment.
I hope you're doing as well as you can be, considering.
Yeah exactly and I don't know if im going to sound nasty but I had a lot of people tell me they have gone through miscarriage but the thing is yes in a way they understand of course but not completely because for them they can just do the business and you know probably concieve again but for us ivf warriors its so much more! Do you think you will be doing another round I really hope you do or can? Sending heeling energy your way ❣️
I’m pleased you said this cause I totally agree. Along with the “oh yes it took us a while to conceive too”. Every baby loss/struggle is very sad but IVF just adds that extra element of struggle and sadness 😔
I am sooo so sorry Millbanks sending you lots of love and hugs. It's such a horrible moment in time but know that it will get better. Just feel all the feels right now, even the bad ones. I hope the next steps aren't too awful - you got this x
I'm so sorry! It is absolutely heartbreaking and such a hard journey to be on with IVF. I also had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and there is so much hope when you are pregnant, so it's devastating when all of the sudden it's over. I hope you can surround yourself with people who love and support you and maybe when you are feeling up to it plan some time to go on vacation or do something for yourself. It seems that IVF is promoted as a guarantee, but the reality is that it's just a treatment that doesn't always succeed. I had so many questions and regrets after I had to walk away from IVF. At the end of it all I had to remind myself that I did all I could to have a baby and I hope that you can keep thF in mind as well. I also read a recent study that said that when a woman has a miscarriage the fetal cells integrate and become a part of your body so your little bean will still be with you. I personally found that comforting when I thought of my own miscarriages. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts your way.
Thank you so much for your message and I'm so sorry you've been through this too. Its completely awful.
You are right - it's not always the answer which is also a bitter pill to swallow. I think that walking away is sometimes the best thing to do - like you say you have done all you can and no one can take that away from you. It's also very brave to accept that this is the way it is. I hope you've found peace with it all.
I love that thought, although of course it made me cry. I'd really like to know if it would have been a boy or a girl, what they would have been like, what they would have looked like - but of course I'll never know that - this is a little bit of comfort - thank you for sharing. xx
Oh love I’m so sorry. You have been such an amazing support to myself and lots of other women on here over the years and I really genuinely wish this hadn’t happened. I don’t think we ever quite get over these losses but I hope you find peace in time. Sending you all the hugs xx
Hi lovey, so sorry you have had to go through this.
I too tried for a sibling for my little boy but after 1 MC and 3 failed transfers decided it was time to walk away. I feel it was the right time for me as like you I didn’t have it in me anymore and also once I decided that my shoulders felt so much lighter.
I appreciate my miracle boy every minute of everyday and I absolutely love my family of 3
I am sure once you are out of the darkness from what’s recently happened and into the light. With your beautiful family it will be a truly amazing feeling.
I wish you and your beautiful family all the best making treasured memories and always squeeze each tightxxx
Thank you Jonesy, I'm sorry it was the same for you but it's lovely to hear you are happy and feeling lighter for it. It's very comforting to hear others experiences.
I hope you and your little family are enjoying life as much as you can! xx
gutted to hear this but so glad you’ve finished this little adventure and have your little boy to show for it all. Enjoy enjoy enjoy, it’s been a wild ride, and it’s only just going to get wilder…💙😘
So sorry for your loss. What an amazingly courageous message you managed to write. I hope you are now able to feel some peace and in time, the joy you hugely deserve. Sending love xx
Thanks Minniemouse - I'm so sorry you experienced this too - and even harder for you with the shock - it's awful to have that great HCG, all the symptoms and then nothing... it's like no other pain. I still feel pretty rough and knowing there is nothing in there is just awful.
I hope you have had some time to heal and regroup - I'm so pleased to see you're going again. I really wish you all the best for your next cycle. xxx
Thank you for your really kind message and good wishes. I wish nobody had to experience the pain of loss after a long and difficult fertility journey. Only time heals and it will be so painful for you right now, I know. Just remember you are not alone. Keep in touch and let us know how you are. Sending lots of love xxx
just wanted to say I’m so sorry to hear your news . You have been a really support on here for a lot of women and I know you will make the best of it as that’s the woman you seem to be . Sending lots of love ❤️ xxxx
Oh phew! I had bleeding at 17 weeks and it was terrifying - but it was a massive haematoma which took about 4 weeks to absorb / disappear. It's always so scary seeing blood in pregnancy, especially when you've been through SO much to get there in the first place. So pleased it's settled down xxx
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sending you lots of love and hugs. It's such a horrible moment in time but know that it will get better. Just feel all the feels right now, even the bad ones. I hope the next steps aren't too awful - you got this x
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