He cancelled our wedding

[Sydneyrow12]

My partner of 3 years broke up with me after my preop assignment. I was due to have surgery again and he couldn't cope with my condition. The illness has become too much and (although I've not been told this) he believes there is no future with me as I won't be able to travel or have kids. My heart is completely broken. Is there anyone out there who can share some advice?

[TurmericTownhouse]

I am sorry this happened to you, it's really sh*tty that he let you down. Unfortunately you can't control other people and its probably better you know what your partner was made of before it got any further. You are controling what you can and taking care of your Endo and yourself and that matters more. As you said, you don't know what the future holds and a baby or child can come from your womb or not. There are plenty kids in need of companionate and caring parents if you want to go down that route one day. I don't know him or you but I would say good riddance, even if it's easy to say and probably doesn't feel like it right now.

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to TurmericTownhouse]

Thank you ❤️

[mdsp7]

I am sorry you are so sad. This man left when you needed him. Before the wedding is better than after. I wish you a good cry and that you feel better soon. May you find someone kinder and more trustworthy soon to share your life with, and may you be well.

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to mdsp7]

Thank you so much ❤️

[chelseagrl]

No advice but sorry this happened. It'll take time but you'll find someone who is compassionate and loving and who is truly deserving of your time and with whom you'll have lots of adventures with big and small. I hope you've got good people around you who can support you through this experience and living well with endo which has already made you more resilient than you know xx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to chelseagrl]

Thank you Chelseagrl! Your words are so kind and I really needed to hear something like that. Xx

[Pearly_88]

that man isn’t a man his a coward! Endo is part of our journeys and if he doesn’t want to be part of it his loss. Once you have had your surgeries and settled back in your body you will be the best version of yourself stronger, wiser and fighting fit. I had similar thing happen and I met someone who is amazing and unconditional . Keep chin up mental mind is half the battle with this xx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to Pearly_88]

Thank you! Waking up to this message has given me so much strength xx

[Timothy31]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you but I'm glad he's shown his true colours now. This happened to me after a 2 and a half year relationship whilst I was in hospital with my 4th surgery so I can relate to the sheer shock of how someone you love can turn round and be so cruel. Embrace the ones who love you for you and don't feel bad for feeling all of the emotions. I hated my body for a while as I blamed my self and condition but at the end of the day a bad apple is only going rot one way or another.

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to Timothy31]

Thanks, Timothy. Having endo is so hard and learning how to love yourself again just feels like an impossible task. But waking up to your message has given me so much strength x

[MeAnonymous]

Dear Sydneyrow12, a man who can not support you through a pain he can not feel, is not a man you'd want/like to spend your life with.

I don't know how bad your endo is, but I know will get better, and I also know you will be able to travel and have a family if you wish to.

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to MeAnonymous]

Thank you so much ❤️

[G3miniStar]

I'm so sorry xx this honestly says more about him than it will ever say about you. This isn't your fault, it's his fault and his problem. You're dealing with so much, you don't need this manchild who can't handle it and who won't be there for you. I know it stings now but just know you're better off without him in the long-term. I never wish ill-health on anyone but he is the type of person you would wish for something not life threatening to happen to so he knew what it felt like. Sending you lots of love and virtual support xxx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to G3miniStar]

Thank you so much ❤️

[MrsPaddingtonBear]

Hello

Firstly I’m sorry to hear you’re having more surgery. Many of us on here know what that’s like and can all sympathise with you. I’m sorry you haven’t been supported by your partner, hopefully you have other’s around you who care, hope surgery goes well.

[Sydneyrow12]

Thanks, mrs Paddingtonbear. I have a wonderful family and friends. Now, a whole new community standing behind me. Waking up to these messages have given me so much support and love. Xx

[Username12345678]

so sorry to hear this. It must feel so dreadful at this moment but it sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet with that one! Certainly not the type of person likely to be a partner through the many ups and downs in life. Be strong, remember how incredible you are, and know there is an army of support for you here xxx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to Username12345678]

Thank you! Your words are giving me the strength to face my surgery next week. Xx

[MonieBL]

I’m so sorry to see your message Sydneyrow this must be so difficult for you 💔. No one should have to fight to be loved or made to feel any less because of the condition we have. It’s nothing to do with you, it’s his inability to look past the difficulties and uncertainties. You will find someone who understands and loves you unconditionally. He just isn’t the right one for you and you deserve better 🥰 we’ve all got your back xxx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to MonieBL]

Thanks, MonieBL. I was terrified writing this and I’ve woken up to so many messages and support. It’s given me so much courage and strength to know I have a whole community behind me. 😘 xx

[BloomingMarvellous]

Wave goodbye to someone who realises they don’t have what it takes. However hard, however big the let down at least he came clean about his inadequacies and hasn’t subjected you to a lifetime of rubbish support. When they can’t do it and admit it there’s not much to recover and it’s tough, tough, tough to be on the end of. Have been there and a friend said well at least he’s been honest. 😳 (Felt like ‘punching’ him for that one but it levelled the reality of it ).

I didn’t know I had endo at the time and the ex -bloke finally said to me years after ….I “was too difficult and dramatic with all the medical stuff when there was nothing going on “ ( I would faint with the pain and vomiting during periods) I look back and just think sad twat. When the space between you and this disappointment gets larger perhaps reflecting you can parcel it into an “amour feu” rather than the real deal. My now husband cherishes and fights my corner. When I can’t he does without being asked with zero hesitation. He has my back. There are the goldens out there just keep that in close to your heart. Whatever happens know you, as you, are are utterly enough and if it wasn’t the illness you’d have probably come up short in his estimation in some other way and that would have “been the problem” in his eyes. No one needs a blamer . We all need someone who loves us and there are no limitations on that love. Best rid babe.

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to BloomingMarvellous]

Thanks, BloomingMarvellous. I truly appreciate you responding back and knowing that there is a happy ending at the end of this. X

[SeventeenNineteen]

I am so sorry. You are not defined by your disease. You are not defective. You are worthy of love, support, care and companionship.

He does not deserve you.

His actions show his true cowardness.

I am so sorry, it is so hard to be alone during a difficult time. But you will get through this. It is hard to see now. But you are worth so much more than this man's assessment.

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to SeventeenNineteen]

Thank you xx

[EndoJaz]

I feel for you, friends are the best at these times. My husband never understood my pain and was always telling me “you’re always ill and you’re always moaning” never showed me any support through my 7 surgeries so now getting a divorce after 30 years being together. I feel free now to be allowed to acknowledge the fact that I am unwell at times and have to have days in bed with the pain. Time to heal and find you again. Hope all goes well with the surgery xx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to EndoJaz]

I’m so sorry to hear what happened but thank you so much for your kind words and advice xx

[M1673402]

It may not feel like it now but I promise you this is a very lucky eacape!!!! You will look back one day and be so thankful he showed his true colours before you were married to him! He’s not the one, cut all ties, take time to heal and then move on, do not give this man the time of day! Sending hugs xx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to M1673402]

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[bunmum2]

It may not feel like it but he's done you a favour, no woman wants to marry this kind of wimp of a man! If he can't look after you now how would he behave when you're old and feeble? When we marry we promise to be there for each other in sickness and health, you need a good man who will be there for you no matter what. He's saved you the bother of divorce because that's all any woman could do with someone like him. (and don't think that he wouldn't expect you to look after him if he was ill, because he would.)

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to bunmum2]

It’s very true. He would have expected me to look after him and not complain. It breaks my heart what he has done but reading everyone’s responses is strengthening me. Thank you so much xx

[Endosufferer1]

It simply means he wasn't meant for you. I'm sorry, such a guy doesn't deserve you! I'm sure that you would have stayed for him if he had cancer.

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to Endosufferer1]

Thanks for your kind words xx

[Purplebex]

I’m sorry to hear this has happened to you, as the others say with every curveball life can throw at you (endo or otherwise) you need someone who has got your back and you theirs. Just think how tougher you are than him and what you would say to your possible future daughter if this happened to her. You’ve got this, good luck with your surgery I’m sure you will smash it out of the park! 🙌❤️💪

[Sydneyrow12]

Thanks purplebex - appreciate you’re kind words and support xx

[Lovepenguins]

He obviously isnt as strong and amazing as you are. Its horrific how hes treated you. Ive been there as many have and now I have a really supportive husband. Be kind to yourself xxx

[Sydneyrow12 in reply to Lovepenguins]

Thanks, lovepenguins. I hope one day I’ll find someone supportive and kind. Xx

[Sunset-lady]

I'm so sorry and shocked to read this. There is a famous quote by Maya Angelou "when people show you who they are believe them the first time." I have also thought this a very hard thing to do but it's very wise advice. People come in and out of our lives for many reasons and I know that there is someone out there who is a better match for you: stronger, braver and more resilient than this man who has really let you see him for what he is. Stay strong (women who live with endometriosis are true warriors) and I know things will work out. Sending you love ❤️

[Sydneyrow12]

thanks, Sunset-lady! Your words are appreciated. Xx

[GreenViolin]

Oh bless you - that's awful. Lean on family and friends that are supportive and you will find your way through this difficult time. Focus on your own wellbeing and tap into your own inner strength. In the aftermath, it might feel hard to comprehend how to get through this, but you will. Don't ever write off being able to travel or have kids either if you want this. There are many options for doing both. Take care of yourself.

[Sydneyrow12]

Thanks, Green Violin. Appreciate the kind words. Xx

[Ova104]

Pains me to read but I think he has really done you a favour. You are better off. I have seen this happen to someone who got really bad cancer and her hubby was no use. You have seriously dodged a bullet as what use is this individual in times of crisis. xxx

[Sydneyrow12]

Thanks, Ova. I’m starting to realise this more and more. X