"One year on?" you may be asking yourself, "but she said she had a laparoscopy not long ago." You are indeed right. I had my laparoscopy in March. But this is not the story of my recovery. This is the story of my anniversary. Exactly one year ago today, it all started.
It was Summer 2019. Wonderfully hot, wonderfully sticky. Love Island was clogging up our TV screens (yes I voted for Greg and Amber to win) and there was so much promise in the air. I'd just got my masters degree and passed my driving test. All that was missing now was a job and I'd be able to leave home.
Or so I thought.
My period came and went and yet I couldn't understand why was the pain still there after it had gone. And why did it feel like burning in my lower back? Was this a kidney infection? I'd never had one before and yet I couldn't understand what else it would be. What else could leave me so incapacitated and bed bound? I'd only been running around the beach the week before so why was I in so much pain?
"It's a blip." my mum said. "It will go soon." But I could tell from the look on her face she didn't believe it. And neither did I.
Deep down I think I'd guessed that there was something more to this than just a 'painful period'. I'd always had painful periods but not like this. This was like someone had doused my ovaries in petrol and set them on fire. Needless to say the job searching went on hold and a GP appointment was booked.
Before going to the GP, I started googling symptoms (I'm terrible, I know) and with a cold stab of horror, realised that there was a strong possibility that it was probably endometriosis. I knew that it ran in my family and it seemed to match my symptoms the closest. Suddenly a kidney infection wasn't looking so bad anymore.
My GP was pretty useless. From the skeptical look I received when I walked in, to the dismissal comment of "I don't think its that bad" I tried very hard not to throw my urine sample in his face - which by the way came back clear of infection - and set the practice alight. Extreme I know, but I'd been having the same effing conversations with different doctors for years and yet they all seemed to have the same response. Is that what they were being taught to say now in medical school? Or was it that they had no real answers to my problems. Wouldn't have been the first time it happened. Oh well, at least I was able to get him to give me the depo injection (not that he wanted to of course).
So I went back to my private gynae. I'd been to see him before and he'd come up with better suggestions for my health. I had a discussion with him and a scan was done there and then. He confirmed that he thought it was endo too.
Well, at least I knew I wasn't crazy anymore.
I couldn't help but feel it was a bit of a death sentence (party girls don't get hurt, yanno healthunlocked.com/endometr...... ) but most definitely explained a lot. The advice was "See how the depo goes."
Worst advice ever.
Well that was 6 months of my life (which included and a&e admission and calls to the samaritans) which I'll never get back. I'd gone from being confident and sparky to struggling to leave the house. I'd sit and stare into space for hours on end and it was a struggle to get my words out sometimes. My moving out plans were starting to look like a fantasy. A very far off fantasy.
I was reffered for a laparoscopy but with no guarantee with when it would be done, I was in a constant state of flux. And the pain was just getting worse. It was every day, not just once a month like other people. I was convinced my life was over and I wasn't even 25 yet.
After I'd realised that the depo was making me worse, I opted for a new contraceptive. The pill to be precise. And a new gynae. One that specialised in endometriosis. It happened to coincide with the fact it was the new year. My horoscope at the time said that 2020 would be the year of "change". I hoped it was right.
Well, the Doctor agreed it was probably endometriosis too and agreed for a laparoscopy. I was hoping it would be in a couple of weeks, but it turned out to be a month or so and would be on my birthday week. Typical.
After worrying it would all go horribly wrong and realising I'd have to have a catheter in afterwards (!) I ended up drugged to the nines on my 25th birthday, bleeding and attempting to watch Loose Women. Still, at least it was done.
So what's changed since last year? Sadly, not much. I'm still at home but I do have a new job now. I wasn't able to move out like I'd hoped, endo robbed me of my confidence and ability to make bold decisions, but at least I will be able to save I suppose and maybe one day I'll have a nice house of my own, rather than renting a dismal flat in the middle of nowhere.
I'd like to think my health is in a better place now. I have less pain, but some residual issues left over which I hope to visit a pain clinic for soon. I found this forum, which made me realise I'm not alone. I've changed my diet and I exercise more now. I have more answers than what I did last year and I'm grateful for that too.
I suppose the point of this post is that the path to recovery is not necessarily straightforward but can come with all sorts of kinks and u-bends. However, it is not about the end product, but rather how the road is navigated and even though it may not be the road you thought you would take, it is still a road and not a dead end.
xx
Ovary failing after sub total hysterectomy - help please(sorry it's a long post) 
Fed up - What are the symptoms of Bowel endo? TMI - long post
I feel like I'm going through hell...and I have no one to talk to
