Bit of a long one.. need advice!

Ladies I need your help.. This might be a bit of a long one but please if you can help do because I am loosing my mind..

I know endo can get you down but it's got past that now.. I feel like I am loosing my mind and I know that sounds dramatic but I honestly don't know who I am anymore! Never suffered with panic attacks or anything and now it's really affecting me .. having panic attacks and feeling like I have no body to talk too.. my partner recently told me having this condition is 'boring' I know I talk about it alot and have my down days but it's hard when it's constantly there reminding me.. I do my best but now I feel like I have to watch every word I say incase I talk about my endo.. she's always so understanding aswel and I felt like the only one that understood and stood by me because obveously with this condition you do feel like a berden on everyone around you sometimes but never did with her.. now I feel like iv literally got no body.. constantly shaking and iv never been a cryer unless the pain was bad now I'm crying all the time for no reason and just don't want to be here with this thing anymore! I know it's boring having this but it's so hard not to let it get you down.. I'm 23 and prescribed morphine.. had this thing for years now and I don't know how much more I can take.. sorry if this bores anyone and if you feel I'm looking for sympathy I'm not.. I just wana know I'm not alone on this.. I feel like even the doctors roll they're eyes at me.. sorry guys..

12 Replies

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  • Hi, I havnt been diagnosed yet but 90% sure I've got endo or adenomyosis, it's really hard to deal with pain on a daily basis, and to feel like you are all alone is hard too, have you had a laporoscopy to confirm, and did they take any away, I'm just looking into supplements at the min, magnesium and vitimin E and calcium is what I've found so far and a pineapple thing can't recol what it's called, maybe the doctor can prescribe something for anxiety and the panic atacks, maybe worth a try, I hope you feel better soon.

  • hiya :)

    Yeah iv had my diagnostic and my removal but it didn't last long unfortunatly... my doctor has put me on anti depressants but I don't think it's depression it's more anxiety than anything! Iv tried all sorts for the pain and I'm prescribed all different pain killers but I don't like taking them unless I really need to because I don't want my body to build up a resistance too them.. iv had zolodex and tried different hormone treatments to no joy... feeling a bit defeated I guess....

  • I talked about my newly diagnosed condition incessantly, for months at a time. My family and friends said "we love you, but we don't care about the non-stop information you are giving us. Give us the highlights and move on." Then I calmed down some and only gave them updates when they asked. Which works well. And I have this site, so I can yap here as much as I need to. :) But I am lucky that there is a lot of teasing and happiness with my family and friends, so it makes the pain times a bit easier.

  • I got diagnosed nearly 2 years ago now so I don't feel like it's something I talk about all the time.. I don't know what going on with me.. I know I'm not nice to be around but at the same time she can walk away from me at any time and leave endo behind her.. I can't wall away from endo.. I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore to be fair! Thankyou for responding it's nice to know I'm not talking to a wall

  • I was diagnosed last year (finally!). Yeah, unfortunately it's something your whole personal circle has to deal with. It's not just a "one person's disease". Would these same people say "it's just diabetes, stop talking about it you are boring me"? No, I don't think they would. It's just not as severe looking to other people, so most people are like meh, suck it up. My own younger sister told me mid fall that I was "no fun anymore" because she wanted to go do something with me and I couldn't because I hurt so badly. She has lived with me her entire life, and has seen me fall hard from the pain. But people who don't experience it don't understand exactly how bad it can be. On the same token, I never understood how bad my mom's migraines were until I had one myself.

    Now for your g/f. She could leave yes, but she obviously loves you very much. Perhaps she can't pretend you are ok if you talk about the endo all the time. I don't know how you can fix any of this, because I have yet to deal with this situation. Is she a part of your dr visits and research that you do? Some people just can't handle that they can't fix your pain.

    I hope you can figure things out together, as it seems you both love each other very much. Just remember, we are here for all rants, questions, and happy things. :)

  • Thankyou so much! You have no idea how much sense that makes to me!! Not much is making sense at the moment but wow that really spoke to me.. of course she doesn't like talking about it because it reminds her it's there.. yes I have to deal with it constantly so of course its always on my mind but maybe she just wants to be a normal couple whos don't revolve around doctors appointments and medication.. honestly thankyou... I'm sorry to hear about your sister.. your right in what you say people really don't get it at all.. because there isn't an obveously wound it can't hurt that bad or so they think...

  • So sorry to hear your having such a hard time just now. Endo really can pull you down, I remember reading somewhere that some kind of link was made between endo and depression. Can understand why, constant pain wearing you down and if you get pain free days it's generally not enough to recover before you're back in pain again, the feeling that you're moaning too much, length of time to diagnose and no real cure. It's not easy. Maybe you could speak to your Dr about some kind of pain management counselling? I hope things get a little easier on you soon hon, sending you big hugs and take care of yourself.

  • I just thought she understood.. she's the only one that has stood by me through it all.. I can understand the whole depression thing I honestly can.. I'm a carer and sometimes worse off than the people I care for! So frustrating.. I know we all feel like that though just always hard not to think why me...

  • She will understand to a point, but this condition really does affect the partners too. Whilst we suffer the physical pain, our partners can't do anything to alleviate it and that can't be easy either, on top of which we'll generally moan about it. I was very low a while back and remember thinking I wish I could get physically injured, like breaking a leg or something. It sounds so stupid to most people but the thought was there as at least people can see and understand something like that. I found when I made the effort to stop talking of the pain, I realised my husband actually does understand and feels really bad when I'm sure. Can still cheese me off, he is after all my hubby but I appreciate his feelings on the matter more now.

  • Iv only had pains since last summer only just diagnosed with severe endo I am having radical hysterectomy i cannot take the pain it has given me no quality of life at all panic attacks severe fatigue weight loss agonising pain not just monthly but every day. I am actually looking forward to hysterectomy. Fortunately I have 2!children and I would probably persevere with pain if I didn't but take my hat off to you ladies with this constant pain. Thinking of you all x

  • Sorry do you mind me asking how old you are? So glad you've got something to focus on and hopefully and end to all your pain .. its the most draining thing ever having pain all day everyday .. With obveously good and worse days ..

  • I am 43 years old I have 2 children but I had ivf last year to try for baby no 3 I would still like to adopt once I am well x

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