Feeling so low - just need to vent

[Meriel_Owen]

I haven't felt this low in a while.

There a few major factors in my life that don't feel quite right at the moment, but I don't know how/when to tackle them - my relationship and career being two of them, and I turn 30 in a week! I had some awful pain the other day, searing pain that takes your breath away - luckily after an hour or so it went away with a naproxen, but now I've got a dull ache in my pelvic area. I feel so emotional, as if I'm about to have a period, and maybe I am! But I haven't had a proper period for a good 8 months, due to having the coil put in during my last laparoscopy in January. The pain is freaking me out a bit - could it be adhesions? It was all down my buttocks, and felt really deep inside my back passage and uterus and basically everywhere down my left side.

Then I've just been feeling really tired, maybe partly because of the worry/pain, but just so down that I can't get on with anything much, and I don't want to go out and contribute to things I've said I would. I just want to be in a cocoon and switch off from it all. It's too much! Life is too much atm!

Hoping/knowing you might understand.

Sarah x

[Hidden]

Literally could have been reading about myself. Sorry hun. Don’t have much else to add other than right there with you. Always on the brink of tears (on the other side of my period: just finishing)

[AllthatGlitters]

Hi like Cyards that’s the place I am in at the moment. I work self employed, struggling with pain and tiredness. If I don’t work, I don’t get paid. Not entitled to any benefit either so no help from the government whatsoever.

Are you on antidepressants?

I take them for fibromyalgia pain but find that they don’t help with moods x

[Meriel_Owen in reply to AllthatGlitters]

I'm self employed too - so I totally understand where you are coming from. I replied to you about anti-depressants in the comments below - I also think that as Endo is a hormonal condition, anti-depressants don't treat the root cause. its just another pill for the symptoms, and I have enough of those. but wouldn't want to begrudge them as they do work for some people. I think the best endorphins fix is nature.

[Dorygirl]

Totally understand. This agony we go through not only affects us physically but mentally too. We put so much pressure on ourselves to not let this horrible illness get us down, but sometimes it just takes over. It impacts everything, work and relationships. Maybe go back and discuss with your GP, you never know you might get an understanding one.

Try to be kind to yourself and feel free to vent. X

[Meriel_Owen in reply to Dorygirl]

Thanks! Yes I'm trying but I just feel like I'm letting myself down, but that's just the mental illness talking. I don't want to take anti-depressants. They work for some people I know, but it just doesn't feel like me - I've had periods like this before, and usually, getting outdoors and talking to people helps. It's just never ending, I thought I might have much less pain by now, after my lap and the coil, but today I feel like its beating me. So bloody tired! Thanks for your words - they do help. x

[Amber83]

Hi Hun, just wanted to say that I felt the same about antidepressants. Problem is we end up going round in circles, pain causes low mood, low mood causes more pain, more pain causes anxiety, anxiety causes more pain and so on. Antidepressants can help break that cycle.

I finally gave in 6 months ago and I’m so glad I did. The pain, tiredness and all the other symptoms that come with Endo are still there but my brain doesn’t interpret the pain in the same way as it used to. I didn’t believe that about 25% of my symptoms were down to being so down and anxious till I started antidepressants. My energy levels have improved about 50% which was one of my worst symptoms. I used to get really bad stomach pain and ache and that’s pretty much gone. It really is amazing what effect ur mood has on your body! X

[Meriel_Owen in reply to Amber83]

Yeah I see what you're saying. I am going to think about it and talk it through with my gp. I did get prescribed some a while back for anxiety so I'm not actually that scared of them. Just never took them. It's potentially something to consider...