I'm pretty much done with everything now.
All I wanna do is sleep and take baths but my parents just say I'm being lazy. I have barely any appetite either so they get annoyed at me when I leave food or say I don't wanna eat cos it makes me feel sick.
My stomach is so burnt from constant hot bottle use, even when I'm in work, so I don't think the marks will ever fade.
My pain meds do nothing and I have to wait for my laparoscopy in 2 weeks to get new ones. The lap can't come soon enough, I feel like clawing out my organs with my bare hands.
I'm so tired even after 8 hours+ sleep at night which have recently been terrible anyways because I've started getting very hot and sweaty (even though I don't get sweaty normally even when I go to hot countries) so cant get comfortable to sleep for ages and then keep waking up through the night to sit by my open window to feel like I can actually get air.
My moods are going crazy and i just feel so fed up of everything and literally just wanna hibernate or something. I can be up on some days but then others everything is getting to me. I'm on the pill but I have been for months and I take it without breaks -vut still bleed for long periods at a time because of my messed up internal systems.
Work is stressing me out for no reason and I almost punched my computer today when it crashed and lost 4 pages of coursework I had spent all day writing (I'm not a violent person and almost cried at my desk because I'd had enough and couldn't work out why it had crashed and not saved the work I had already manually saved onto the cloud). Also in work, someone joked about me being the only one left in my team to take maternity leave and I'm scared that if they do find endo during my lap, I may not have children so that really gets in my head too.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I'm entirely fed up.