Really dumb and it’s probably because I’m a bit nervous but it crossed my mind so I will ask.
I have been asked to dinner by an old college friend, it is super sweet and I’m looking forward to it but… endo.
It’s not exactly great topic for conversation however, it is very hard to ignore. It was difficult in my previous relationship to get my ex to understand I had bad pain days and needed space. This guy is lovely (very lovely) and will be sympathetic and kind but it is constantly in the back of my mind what my ex was like. And pain is constantly on my mind because I’m constantly in pain waiting for my next referral… which may take a very long time.
On the other hand, this could just be two old friends having food and laughing and I don’t need to spiral into all of the above and make myself look a fool.
Any advice or kick up the posterior would be very appreciated.
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Lunaloo123
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It’s completely understandable to feel how you are, endo likes to take over our lives that way but absolutely don’t feel you have to bring it up if you don’t want to. It it gets brought up naturally, share what you feel comfortable sharing but don’t feel you have to mention it. Go and have a brilliant time, he sounds like a great guy and you deserve a wonderful night x
Personally I feel sometimes I build up heavy topics like this in my head before dates and end up feeling sick with anxiety because I've convinced myself that I *have* to share it, but you really don't. I think maybe take a deep breath and know that it's not something you *have* to do on a first date or by any particular number of dates. You can share it when you feel comfortable to do so and if blurting it out on the first date feels like it's too much too soon - you don't *have* to do it (:
Thank you! You are completely right. It’s all in my head right now… I don’t particularly like talking about it if I can help it. It does help talking about it on here mind you, realising it’s not just me!
I wouldn’t say anything quite yet and enjoy your date.
When I have big events I know my endo can rear her ugly head. I tell myself this “Endo three is a party and you is not welcome here” or “you’re not invited to this event or come into this space”. So I know it’s very easy to say but try not let it win on this evening as you deserve to have a lovely date x
I know the feeling I do the same. Hope you get no nasty flare ups for your date.
I bet and enjoy being in the company of someone who is so lovely. As sometimes it makes us feel so much better when someone can just be compassionate and kind to us. You’ve totally got this 🤗🤗
Don’t feel stupid at all as this is what this lovely community is for. Here’s to all of us girls who need a guy who just understands and is there for us with no judgments.
Oh definitely and always pops up when we don’t want it to.
Well. Difficult. If you feel you have to mention this leave it towards the end of the get together. A short opener opener try to let them drive, them ask questions rather then you just pour out.
Make it short the description, isolated by talking to others, see what they say?
Finish up the meet up with other positive subjects, remember they have subjects to air.
This meeting is a opportunity for future meetings.
Upset and tears a no!
Perhaps a long hug at the end. A out of the blue word 'thanks'nothing more then normal goodbyes.
Your probably bursting to open the the floodgates in the subject. Remember they're a friend not a counsellor.
Myself I find it hard not to get carried away especially when they say how are you?I often change the subject or say let's laugh first, then mention it later.
Hi, completely understand your worries and concerns.I had given up on finding anyone due to my endo and other chronic health issues and the strain it had put on relationships.
Ironically my recovery from my lap is what led to me finding my perfect match. I was online making friends while recovering and he was just part of the group.
We chatted for 3months and I kept thinking to myself this is a silly crush, it is all in my head and I wouldn't want to be involved anyway because I can't do normal life.
We agreed to meet up. And honestly my life has never been better. I'm still chronically ill and I have many days where it's very apparent but he helps me rest and when I'm well enough he helps me feel like I actually have a life.
So go have a good meal and some fun conversations be it friends or a date doesn't matter. Your still a person who deserves a good night out 😊
If it leads to something more great as you said he is lovely and will be sympathetic.
Ahhhh, totally see it ... when to, if to ????? etc and the windmill begins. Before we know it we are a sweaty heap of panic and would rather not have to go 🫣🫣🫣 .
First off just have some fun 🤩 and enjoy the date; it's so easy to let fun be something we forget about or feel we have to always let Endo come along too. We are allowed fun and good times and that can be hard to hold onto in the face of all the crap.
I also notice some similar anxiety stuff that helped keep me in pain, by triggering the worry about pain seemed to actually invite it through the door. The fear setting off what then would feel like a rather punishing bout of pain or a flare. The whole thing can be a horrible frustrating and unrelenting cycle once it starts up. Sometimes it would be enough for me to turn down chances for things because I didn't want to let others down or have to "pay for it later" . Such a double bind. I've found Curable App helpful in calling a halt to unwittingly setting off the brain alarms and reducing my overall pain. It's meant more fun in the end even in spite of the endo . So you are deserving of a lovely time and wonderful people around you irrespective of your pain.
You have just covered all the thoughts that have gone through my little brain. It doesn’t help with the menopause injection they’ve pumped in me… I’ve been quite emotional about different things today (cling film made me cry!)
I’ll have to have a google to see what Curable App is!
Oh that won't be helping any on the emotions front. Anxiety and worry come rushing in. Try looking at Dr Louise Newson’s Balance app podcasts on hormones and mental health so you can get a bit of a grip on medically induced menopause and endo . It's a bugger .
Go and have a wonderful time. No need to bring this up now. If things develop further, then would be the time. I hope you have fun catching up with an old friend.
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Maybe TMI? But I need to ask.
struggling with mental health whilst waiting for operation date 
Does anyone feel irritated and stressed more often than normal. 
endo in mid 40s and questions…
