Hey guys,

Sorry for moaning again but I just don't know where to turn. I'm seriously over-emotional at the mo, crying at nothing and gettin annoyed by everything.

I'm sick of bein in so much pain all the time, I'm sick of not sleeping, I'm sick of falling out with people cuz im ratty and snappy, I'm sick of havin no appetite, I'm sick of this stupid disease and I'm sick of no-one helping me.

Really struggling at the mo and not sure how much longer I can carry on. I'm fighting everything constantly and I'm exhausted. How many times have I gotta go to A&E, see my GP/ consultant, pass out or throw up from pain and miss work before something is done to help me??

I'm not expecting to have surgery and my problems to be solved but it wud help. My consultant has organised a scan for me for 3 weeks tomorrow to see what's goin on with my endometrioma and then I've gotta go back and see him. He's not keep to operate for a second time, he'd rather just keep giving me more and more pills which I hate.

I'm trying to do my key holder training at work but I've been into Derriford A&E twice this week cuz I can't keep the pain under control. I've lost count of how many times I've missed work and I'm falling out with everyone at the mo cuz I keep snapping. My partner and work colleagues try to understand but cuz they're not havin to go through this they just don't understand.

I really don't know where to turn anymore. I hate bein like this, I hate the pain, I hate bein ill, I hate bein stuck in bed with my hot water bottles whilst my partner is out, I hate missing work and messing them around, I hate living like this.

I had 5 days between the end of my period and starting bleeding again even though I'm on the pill. My body is completely screwed and I'm acting like I'm 72 instead of 27.

How do other people manage to get the pain under enough control to sleep?? Amitriptiline isn't helping, neither are any of my painkillers, I can't keep running on empty cuz I'm gonna loose my job and my partner at this rate. I just wish someone cud make this go away for an hour.

Please help me, where do I turn?? I can't live like this.

Danni x

6 Replies

  • So sorry you are feeling this way,I'd really like to say something of some use but I'm really at the end of my tether having to fight with GP's and surgeons at the moment.

    It all feels exhausting and never ending but as soon as I'm ready to give up a little piece of me gets ready to fight again.

    I'm currently fighting for a specialist at the moment (shouldn't have to fight),maybe that's your next step. As for pain relief I'm on 6 ibuprofen ,8 paracetamol and 8 codeine a day,doctors will not give me anything stronger even though I need it.

    I couldn't just read this and not reply,I really hope you get some help soon and sorry I couldn't be more helpful.


  • Danni i have just read your comment .... print your comment and take it to the Doctors surgery you have just told us exactly how you are feeling but i bet you you dont express this to your doctor or to the gyne consultant when you visit them ... let them read this in front of you and maybe just maybe they will understand you better from what you have written as it is very strong and expresses how you are feeling ....

    take care xx

    all the best and sending hugs to you xxxx

    shaz xxx

  • Go on to Utube and watch Jon Kabatt Zinns various free videos on mindfulness meditation it can help soften pain and show you how to deal with 'this moment', how you are feeling and how it affects your body sensations and mind. Body Scan is a particularly good one but I found this helped me, you need a quiet room and really listen and stay with it. You can access mindfulness meditation 10 week, once a week (2 hrs) courses through Wellbeing Centres and Buddhist Centres (nothing to do with religion). The NHS and world health organisations are using this method. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by giving it a serious go. Not a miracle cure but helps you in many ways.

  • Danni, I completely understand where you are at the moment, where you feel hopeless. I went through the same thing thing for four years before even getting diagnosed. So 8 colonoscopies, a appendectomy, two laparoscopies, a failed degree, no job, countless different pain killers and a boyfriend who doesn't necessarily understand but is supportive, later, I'm on amitriptyline, pregablin, and weekly acupuncture which doesn't necessarily help entirely with the pain but helps which nausea and the emotional side of things. As many problems stem from the gut, I also take high strength probiotics which help keep the bowel problems in check (you need high strength ones as those yakult ones are useless, if you want the website I get them from let me know) and a good high strength fish oil. The fish oil helps with your brain function, and evening primrose oil seems to help too. I'm not saying that I am 100% at all, 100% of the time but I feel about 40 - 70% around 40 - 60% of the time and am I right in assuming that sounds like it might be an improvement for you? Are you on the gluten/wheat/dairy free diet? I'm also a Coeliac so I was already on that. Apparently wheat causes an inflammatory response in a person's body which is why it is a recommended diet to follow for anyone, never mind people with endo. I know all this sounds like hocus pocus la de da ideas and theories but it's how I seem to be coping coping with this sh*'te disease, pardon my language. I know I have blethered on, but I hope something in my essay will help. Good luck... xxx

  • Hi Danni

    It sounds to me as if you are depressed. This isn't to play down all of the crap you are going through with the endo at all, but you said it yourself, you can't continue to run on empty.

    I know it sounds like just more pills and not getting to the root of the actual problem, but go and ask your doctor for some anti depressants. You just need a bit of a boost to help you deal with everything else.

    Sending lots of love

    C x

  • Sorry to hear you're feeling low! I had about 5 years of endo pain with my gp pretty much putting things down to "period pains"! I finally went in to see her in nov last year with the plan in my head not to leave until I was referred to hospital. My resilience paid off and I had my first lap done in feb this year and they found moderate endo which had stuck my ovary to my bowel. I shudder to think what could have happened if I had put it off much longer. Unfortunately I can feel little familiar aches and pains that suggest my endo is coming back already but the main killer for me was the fatigue! I'm a childminder which is a very demanding job so unsure what the future holds. All I can suggest is stand your ground and demand that something be done for you as quickly as possible as it is clearly affecting your quality of life. Us women should be given a medal for all the crap that we suffer x

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