I had to take two days off last week as pain during what should be my period (just started tricycling the pill) was so intense. My boss asked me to come in and took me aside to say I shouldn't be doing this job and she can't carry 'passengers'. I cried in front of her and said it was scary not knowing and having to wait for my lap but he just said she had to 'think of the agency' and she doesn't see a way forward. Stress is the worst for my pain and she said she didn't want work to add stress to my health yet she's gone on holiday for a week and left me not knowing if I have a job or not.
I feel devastated. My life has literally been turned upside down and I can't keep up with the changes including my body.
The pain is making so act short tempered and angry and thats so unlike me and I feel like I'm upsetting everyone. Including my partner. He's been fab but when I'm tired and in pain I feel this envy and anger towards him that his life is normal. He's been working hard on his body at the gym and I look at myself and hate what I see. I don't feel like a real woman either.
Don't really know where to turn to.
Faye.
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FairFacedFairy
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I am sorry to hear of your predicament. The boss seems not very concerned with your wellbeing! I would suggest you speak to either your doctor or the Citizen Advice Bureau for your next step. Try not to dwell on all this, as this will all add to your stress levels. You should be able to get some help with your symptons, at least i do hope so. I hope your partner continues to understand and support you. Take care Faye, good luck. Jane x
Really sorry to hear about this. I think your boss is playing a game. I'm afraid I'm not best placed to advise on the ins and outs of employment law and the protocol here so hopefully someone will reply with proper advice on this. As Jane says, Citizens Advice would be a good port of call and also go to your GP about this. Also try contacting ACAS. m.acas.org.uk
Thanks for your reply. Will def try citizen advice and see what else I can find. I don't trust her anymore and I don't want to work somewhere I don't feel supported so when I'm well enough I'm going to look for something else.
I'm not sure about my lap yet. I collapsed and was taken to hospital where after scans the gynae told me I need to have a lap but I have to have an appointment to discuss before hand which is next Wednesday. It's felt like a long time and I hope the wait from then on isn't too long :(.
Hopefully things will pick up soon. Just feel very lost at the moment but hearing from people on here really helps
I can't believe your boss that is disgusting, how long have you worked there? I hope your appointment for your lap comes through soon, sending you a hug x
I know I was really shocked. She made me feel like I was doing it on purpose and it's my fault no pain relief works so I literally can't concentrate sometimes! Worked under her for 6 months but the company 10 months
Well she can't just get rid of you, you are protected by employment law. I would get advice from the CAB as what she is doing is so wrong, start a diary to write down any comments she makes as this could prove useful at a later date if needed.
We have to put up with constant pain, we have no life, we get irritable, depressed and is this our fault? No so why can't people understand that.
X
Go over yours bosses head, she isn't available anyway and has left you with this uncertainly which is absolutely disgusting. Contact HR or your bosses own manager. What she has said is threatening and bullying tactics.
Just because you take 2 days off, does not mean you cannot perform your duties. You need to explain this and put this into writing. But first talk to HR and tell them exactly what has been said.
This is unacceptable. Your employment rights depend on how long you have worked for the company but you have rights not be fired for no reason. There are standard processes for disciplinary and your manager would have to follow those (verbal, written and then the firing).
Please please go over her head. Talk to ACAS and citizens advice and talk to HR - if you don't defend yourself she will walk all over you.
She is trying to fire you before you get a diagnosis - because this then makes it more difficult for her.
Thanks for your informative response. I really appreciate it.
We don't have a HR department so need to seek as much advice as possible and I'm going to speak to the chairman of the company tomorrow and explain her bullying tactics. It's a small advertising company and unfortunately she is a founder and is part of the board so probably what she says goes. It's a shame because my old boss in the same company was fab and so are other members of my team.
I'm dreading next week as she comes back off holiday, my first appointment with my gynae is the next day and I hope to god she doesn't make things worse!
Thing is - regardless of whether there is an HR dept or not - there are laws about how one can be dismissed and particularly in relation to sickness/disability which companies have to adhere to. In that respect if you look back in your contract it should state the company's procedures regarding time off due to sickness and also how they dismiss people etc.
Mabes is right - there are procedures and processes which should be followed, that reflect the laws of the land.
Tread carefully in the meeting, don't actually name her as a bully but tell them the facts, tell them she has threatened dismissal on health grounds, tell them you are able to do your job, and that 2 days off does not constitute being unable to perform duties. Also tell them you are very worried about the managers approach. The facts should speak for themselves.
Here is some advice, even if you have been employed for under a year, she cannot dismiss you on health grounds because it may well be discriminatory of her to do so, which would give you a genuine reason to go to tribunal for Unfair Dismissal.
You need to know your rights, and make it clear that you do know your rights but at the same time, inform them that you love your job and are committed. You need to shmooze, be nice about the company but be assertive and KNOW YOUR RIGHTS.
Unfair dismissal is one of the most common Employment Tribunal claims.
In most circumstances, in order to bring an unfair dismissal claim you must have been have been employed for at least a year (this has now been increased to two years for anyone whose job started on or after 6 April 2012).
The qualifying period of employment does not apply if you were dismissed for one of a number of reasons, the most common of which are:
You were dismissed because you asserted a statutory right
You were dismissed for making a protected disclosure (i.e. you raised concerns about a breach of a legal obligation – including an obligation owed to you under your contract of employment). This is commonly known as “whistleblowing”
You were dismissed for family reasons (e.g. because you were pregnant or on maternity leave)
You were dismissed because you were a part-time or fixed term employee
You were dismissed for a health and safety reason
You were dismissed because of your trade union membership
If your dismissal was for a discriminatory reason (e.g. you were dismissed because of your age, gender, race, sexual orientation, disability, religion or belief) you will be able to bring a claim for discrimination even if you have not been employed for a year.
Unfair dismissal applies if your employer dismisses you or you resign because of breaches of your contract by your employer (this is known as “constructive dismissal”). It may also be an unfair dismissal if you were employed on a fixed term contract and it was not renewed when it expired.
To defeat a claim for unfair dismissal your employer needs to be able to show that it dismissed you for a fair reason. Fair reasons are:
Conduct
Capability or qualifications (e.g. poor performance)
Redundancy
Breach of a legal restriction (e.g. if you do not have the right to work in the UK)
Some other substantial reason – this is a catch-all that allows other reasons to be suggested by the employer
Your employer will also need to show that it followed a fair procedure:
In cases of misconduct this means the employer will need to have investigated the allegations and given you the chance to answer them in a disciplinary hearing. Depending on the seriousness of the allegations, your employer may be required to give you warnings before dismissing you.
In cases of poor performance you should have been given the chance to improve.
In cases of redundancy you should have been consulted about the redundancy and selected fairly as part of that process.
You will only be allowed to bring a claim if you do so within three months (less one day) after the date your employment terminates, so get in touch with us without delay. Our employment law experts can
help you draft an appeal against your dismissal
advise whether or not an unfair dismissal claim is likely to be successful
All I can say is how sorry I am to hear this, your boss sounds like an uncaring, selfish person and it's unacceptable. It makes me so angry when people behave like that when they should be supportive an trying to understand what is going on for you. I really hope things get better for you soon x
Well they fired me but didn't use illness so they could get round it. I'm actually too exhausted to argue. I physically can't do my job right now. Have my gynae appointment tomorrow and I feel like I'm just going to break down.
Omg that's awful what did they say the reason was that they dismissed you? Have you had any or verbal written warnings before any issues where they have said they have issues with your work?
You are protected by employment law I think what they have done is disgusting
Good luck for tomorrow hope you get the answers you want, let me know how you get on x
Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry - this is a disgrace. And Twinky is right, they should have given you a verbal followed by a written warning before firing you. This is so illegal. Seriously, what god awful company do you work for? I'm very wound up reading this. Let us know if there is anything we can do here.
This Monday the chairman (not my boss but the head of the company) took me into the meeting room and gave me a letter stating my termination. Apparently I do not meet the standards of my job position ( I was given the job as a promotion from receptionist back in January and they knew I would need some form of training) I have been suffering badly since February and my boss had known every bit of information of my current health situation. When expressing this to the chairman he had no idea I had a hospital appointment or the fact I could have a long term illness. It seems my boss had told him I couldn't do the job as they hoped and not explained my struggle with being ill and maybe that's why?! I was so disgusted that I took what they offered me (2months payment in Lieu of notice) and left. I don't want to fight for my job there I want nothing to do with the company and I don't have the energy to take it further. I know what they did was wrong but my confidence is so low and my anxiety is high so I need to be as calm as possible.
I finally had my first official appointment yesterday and it was the same consultant who spoke to me after my emergency scan in February that mentioned endo. He was amazing, really listened and really wanted to help me find the cause of pain...so I'm getting my lap! Just have to wait for the date but my pre op is next week so hopefully not too long of a wait.
I hope you are all well tonight and thanks for your replies. You've no idea how much it helps knowing someone cares. I just can't help but feel like a failure in every part of my life right now!
I was talking to my friend in HR today and she said it sounds like they have dismissed you due to your health issues which is totally wrong, she said you need to speak to ACAS. You may not want your job back but taking action for unfair dismissal & loss of earnings is something you are entitled to do as why should they get away with it. Did you ask to be ill? No so why should you be discriminated for it x
Sorry to hear the news about your job, it sounds like you might be better off without hem if they are not understanding, but really sucks the way they have gone about things. Maybe when you are feeling stronger it wld be worth speaking to citizens advice bureau abt it. Great news you are getting a lap tho, I really hope they can give you some relief from the pain, it is such a horrible draining illness. Lots of love xx
Hi Faye, my partner loves the gym too, it is enviable that he can get on and I'm struck down. But I realise we have different bodies, systems and lives: we are individuals. Your pain is yours to get through. Your relationship is there for both of you. Your good days will be proof of that.
With regard to your employer, how long have you been in post and are you Permanently employed there? This will make a difference further down the line if your manager takes any action. Mire than two years service abd you could have grounds for unlawful dismissal etc. Keep documenting any conversations your manager has with you, wherever possible getting witnesses to back you up.
I was made redundant just before Christmas, I had one to three days off for the last six months. I feel I was pushed out if my job through a "restructure" and replaced by zero hours contractors in an IT firm. Hope you get a good day soon, where your strength returns and you can get a good perspective. X
This was 3 years ago now and a lot has changed good and bad. The company let me go but in the end it was the best thing to happen. I changed career and I now work for an organisation who are beyond supportive. I'm on a long term sickness plan so my trigger amount for days off is a lot higher and I also get to work from home 2 days a week or any day where I am not up to traveling. I actually haven't had to take more than 1 day off work because of my endo because of this. Much better for my well-being. I am now waiting for my 3rd lap because the endo is back and my pain is there again but I know that with my family, amazing partner (who I now attend the gym with when I can!) and brilliant work place I can get through it.
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Do I have the right to request a referral to a bsge centre? 
I just want to know if I have endo or not!
I have lost the old me.
Hi I am new on here and have been looking for answers. Your opinions may help me!
