Does anyone feel like this sometime?

First of all I am Depressed or I wouldn't be on this . My mood has changed and I feel really irritable and hate everyone or am browned off with everyone. I am going on a weeks hol. On Sunday and I don't feel like even going to buy a litre of milk never mind a holiday. I started to pull out some clothes. Tried on my nice jeans and they were too tight, and I got so angry with myself and cursed my antidepressants. I tried to rationalise to myself why I am in this cross and strained humour. When my few friends ask me how I am, I feel so strained. I guess I hate myself.

I am getting hair done on Sat. So maybe that will boost my mood. If I had a choice I would stay I bed for next week. Starve myself and not feel so fat I. My jeans. It's not even gaining a few pounds, it's like my mood has changed from Depression to " I hate life, I hate myself, people are selfish and I am too soft and sensitive.

Sorry for rambling on, but would love to know if anyone else gets this burned out, bad tempered cranky mood.

Going to bed now, hope everyone is ok, it's great to be able to be honest about my sxxtty mood.

Hannah the bad tempered troll

10 Replies

  • First of all, Hannah, your not a bad-tempered troll! You're a lovely woman and you've been a lot of help to me for starters!

    And that you don't feel like going on your holiday is no surprise, given the way your feeling.. I couldn't think of anything worse, my family keeps asking me to come over and see them (as you know they live in Amsterdam), but the thought of having to organise everything, then going and spending a week or more with people roundabout me constantly, having to 'put a face on', be sociable and kid on everything's ok fills with me with dread, and I imagine you feel the same..

    Then again, it might do you good! Nevermind if you've put on a few pounds, it probably suits ye, and there's worse things in the world! You might just end up enjoying it, at the very least your mind will be kept occupied by having to be with people, plus the change of scenery might do ye the world of good!

    Let's face it, things aren't exactly great right now are they, so it can't really get any worse can it!

    I totally understand how you feel, and it feels like a monumentous task to get going, but just do it, go, and try and enjoy it..!

    I really hope you'll come back saying 'I'm so glad I went' and it might just be what you need.. Good luck luv,go get

    packing ;)

    Lotsa luv, Holly Xx

  • Holly thanks for reply, you are wise beyond. Your years and have such warmth and common sense wrapped up into Holly. Yes I will get organised today and clean and tidy as nothing worse than coming home to untidy place. I am determined not to let a few lbs annoy me. Holly back to you how are you? And have you any plans or ideas for the weekend?

    Talk to you later today

    Luv n hugs


  • Good on ye! I'm glad to hear you've picked up a bit, and sometimes things you dread or look forward to the least, turn out to be the best !

    So get organised and tell yourself whatever happens, its gonna be better than moping about the house yourself all weekend!

    I'm ok.. Feeling really anxious, but that's nothing new.. I finally managed to have a shower,

    it took me half the day, but I do feel better after it!

    Not really got any plans for the weekend, but plenty of things I SHOULD be doing!

    A friend of mine (I was kinda seeing him for a while), is in a sort of rehab place, he's only there till he goes to where he's really going, for 6months, so I should go and visit him as I won't be able to when he goes to that other place..

    I can't be bothered, don't know where it is or how to get there, but I will go, either tonight or in the weekend, coz I promised him.

    So I'm trying to get myself together just now, after my shower, I love just pottering about for a while after it before getting ready and putting close on and get on with things I should be doing, but I better get a move on!!

    I'm glad you've decided to go, and your feeling a wee bit better about yourself as well, coz you're a lovely person with a lot to give, so please don't put yourself down!

    Love, Holly Xx

  • Holly I have been starting to read some of the posts, as you know am new to this. You are one amazing girl I just thought I should let you know that, the responses you give to people are so encouraging, I hope and pray you get out of your dark place and id suggest you look at going into counselling (am an ex recruitment consultant, always words of wisdom for others bar myself!!) Well done you for getting oraganised today and now go and pick your nicest clothes to wear and enjoy your time with your friend, catchup soon x

  • Aw thank you Charlie...! I felt that :) In a good way!

    But there's nothing amazing about me.. Quite the opposite I would say, I'm nothing but a failure and a disappointment and I've managed to ruin my whole life so far.. But thanks for the compliment Charlie, that was really nice of you :)

    Holly Xx

  • Hi Holly im new on here too but i have to say i couldnt agree with charlie43 more. Theres alot thats amazing about you, sensitive, articulate and generous of spirit.

    I dont know your circumstances but you ve not ruined everything, your still here, your still fighting this that counts for a hell of alot!


  • Aw thank you looking-glass34! And a very warm welcome to this forum!

    I hope you'll get as much help and support on it as I am,

    and everybody's lovely and we're all here for eachother..

    So if you're feeling down, or your having any kind of problem, or just want a chat, don't hesitate to post and you'll get a lot of support!

    Lots of love, Holly xxx

  • Hello BOB here

    New on this page, generally on Pain Concern pages

    Over thirty years of and more I have suffered from Reactive Depression and have extensive treatments for same

    Life is so sad when we have need too go on holiday and have not got the energy or mental health too go. I know how you feel although I know in my own life once I get away, the rain clouds lift and generally I can have a good time with my wife and dog Pax (Peace ) in Latin, thought it would be a good name for him as He gives me peace when he comes for a cuddle. when I feel down. He is a Welsh Collie, and is more intelligent than me.

    All I can really suggest is leave the holiday bits where you can see them, think of any positive things, who you are going with, your interest when you get there and the change in the environment from home, where sometimes life can be so strained and tiring,

    Sometimes you do not need to be depressed not to like yourself, many healthy people do not like what they are or what they become, we need to accept those sudden feeling of what we are. So we need to think what we would like to be, and that can become a target for what we want to become

    My condition causes me terrible chronic pain I have been like that now for about twenty five years, I am sick of those of the population who have no understanding of the different types of disability, and have a bullying part to play when they see us, as a waste on society.Now if I see them chattering I try and imagine them with no clothes on, their chattering like a hoard of crowes.

    Enjoy your holiday

    All the best


  • Thank you Bob for your reply, I am sorry you are in pain . that is tough, ,some people have zero empathy and you made me laugh thinking of them without clothes. Your dog sounds lovely, I have a cuddly fur bundle cat, and she cheers me up. Your post helped me And thanks for that.

    You have a good weekend too. Be kind to yourself and don't mind those Unsympathetic so and so, s.


  • Yes.... well, self-image is a big one when it comes to depression and the more we want "to be like something" the less we like our current self. Thus the hate. I do positive visualization exercises whenever I feel like this. It helps a lot.

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