Feeling down and like a failure

[aw1912]

Hi all,

I’m feeling really depressed at the moment and kind of heading to alcohol. My current job is temporary and it finishes next month, they won’t renew my contract because of financial reasons but I don’t really want to be there now. In 6 weeks I’ll be without a job which puts me and my family in a financial mess.

I’ve worked part time while my wife works full time on 50+ hours a week (which although it’s a really good job, we hardly ever see her - our kids have seen her for 30 minutes today and it’s currently 10:30pm so they’re all in bed, and it’ll be the same again tomorrow) as it worked very well with childcare but my wife moaned that we were tight for money which makes me want to get a full time job.

I’ve applied for in excess of 60 jobs this week but heard nothing back which puts a real dampener on it, but by getting a full time job it means that I won’t get to see much of the kids as they’ll be with family or at school.

[Suzie40]

If your wife is working such long hours, it might not be wise for you to do the same. Perhaps one of you working part time is the right thing for your family at this time. You mentioned you have applied for lots of jobs this week - it’s early days to be hearing back, so don’t let that put you off too much.

I noticed you tagged bipolar in your post - is this something you suffer from? Are you getting the right help and support that you need?

[Mary-intussuception]

You are NOT a failure. Negative thoughts will attack when we're low and feeling down. Dismiss them. Make a conscious effort to fill your mind with positive, happy thoughts - your children's laughter, happy family memories you've made. Plan a little inexpensive surprise for your wife. Think of 10 people and things you are thankful for and say thank you for each one.

Hope you can talk yourself out of heading to alcohol. Whatever you decide, please don't be too hard on yourself.

The positives? You have beautiful children (not all of us succeed at that ) you have a lovely, understanding wife, you are both hard working people. You love and miss each other so make the most of every moment together. Money's not everything, but yes we do need to eat and pay the bills.

Hope the right job for you comes along very soon. Part time does seem a good choice if you can get it ?

God Bless xXx

[Hidden]

Hi aw1912, never head for the alcohol because its a depressant and will make you worse, plus it can get expensive. If you have held a job and been a good employee, you will get another job. Applying for 60 jobs nowadays is still not that many, keep at it, keep applying. I know when l eventually got my first interview after leaving my last job, l couldnt even remember applying for it, it had been so far back. Sign on with the DHSS, even if they only pay your national insurance, and take any course they offer you. Tell them you want full time work but only apply for part time. They are there to help you into work, and it will keep you thinking positive. Try not to stress, you will find something, trust in God that he is watching over you. The positivity will shine through in your interviews, which you WILL get.

[Hidden]

I feel for you. Many people don't get to see their kids these days. Work pressure is everywhere. It's best you also come up with a way to make money yourself while

You look for jobs. Look online. Make a YouTube account or Instagram, sell things. What are you absolutely passionate about? That's how you can earn money! It takes time but that's normal. Give yourself a chance. Best of luck.

PS I'm a former alcoholic and I know that when I turn to drink things get worse. It may not happen right away it within a couple of weeks I start worrying about the next drink, I'll buy one bottle of something I'm halfway through I'm frightened of running out. Unfortunately for me I also started getting ulcers in my stomach. I don't get started on that now.

Go to AA meeting online. AA.net

[Spgsamuel]

Well firstly have you been employed for more that 2 years at your current job. If so you can claim mandatory redundancy payments. Its not a case of getting a lawyer but filling out a form. You should be able to claim 15% of your total income to a maximum amount of 15,000 pounds. If the amount is significantly over this you should consider employing a lawyer to write a nicely worded letter and they usually offer much more. Alteratively if they are laying you off at the 2 year period you may still be able to claim for laying you off prior to be being compelled to pay mandatory redundancy payments. Check you rights for mandatory redundancy patents online, you usually won't need a lawyer and can receive a significant payment with minimal fuss.

[aw1912 in reply to Spgsamuel]

Unfortunately not, I only started last September, I knew from the start it was temporary, most of the people I spoke to said they’d be stupid not to extend it, apart from the powers that be!

[Spgsamuel]

What are you doing? If you don't mind me asking.

[aw1912 in reply to Spgsamuel]

I’m a Teaching Assistant at the moment but I’ve applied for pretty much anything now

[Spgsamuel in reply to aw1912]

That's a decent career to follow up on, you may get more offers down the line, take this time out of work to better your knowledge of your desired goal. Read more. Garden, keep house plants. Feel constructive and expand your intellect. Be positive you will be employed. It will also cut down your drink if your hands have more to do.

[aw1912 in reply to Spgsamuel]

I need a new job quite sharpish otherwise we’ll be tight with money and won’t be able to stay where we are. I love numbers and working with children so those two are areas I would love to remain in but will take anything at the moment

[Spgsamuel in reply to aw1912]

It will happen.

Keep yourself occupied and motivated. Try to explain the situation to your partner, nobody is perfect, you can do this. Keep studying and work hard at you chosen profession, of set it with activities that keep your hands busy.

You will get a job.

[Hidden in reply to aw1912]

One of my friends was doing that and then went to teachers training college don't you want to do that? He's a teacher now.

[Lvee]

Your juggling to much problems all at once and your taking on others emotions as well not good. Try breaking down the problems into smaller ones and smaller and smaller then work them one by one and as you accomplish them celebrate those moments be kind to yourself and have faith that things will work out for the best. As long as your moving forward you’ll do great.