No longer think I deserve my badge

[earl-grey-sian]

After my more recent runs, I really don't feel that I deserve my graduate badge anymore

Since graduating, my fitness levels seem to have deteriorated rather than improved. I can no longer run for 30 minutes without stopping. Today I went out for the first time in 2 weeks. I covered a total of 2.2 miles, but walked for about a minute after the first 15 minutes and then again after another 10 minutes. My total time was 27 minutes. Terrible!

I've been irrationally exhausted recently, so much so that I got my bloods checked. Anaemia has been a problem for me all my life, but amazingly, at the moment my Hb levels are at the lower end of normal. So I can't blame my tiredness on that. I have low sodium levels due to me anticonvulasant meds but they've been low for the last 20 years, so I can't blame that either. Apparently my Folate levels are low. Can that make you feel tired and weak? I don't know.

Anyway, as I couldn't blame anaemia for my tired and heavy legs, I blamed lack of fitness and ran. I'll just have to keep going until I get back to where I was. Heavy legs or no heavy legs!!

[Cazvs Graduate]

Aw, don't be down! It's just a rough patch, you'll get back to normal. You could try increasing your folate levels to see if it helps, pregnancy vitamins are high in folic acid. How are you sleeping?

[BettyJane Graduate]

Don't beat yourself up, 27 mins after a 2 week break is pretty good.

When I returned to running after a few weeks off due to injury, I started off with a week 5 run 2, that went OK so next time out I tried week6 run 1. It took me 3 or 4 runs before I ran a 30 min run.

[PamJK Graduate]

Oh bless you. Hugs. Perhaps you are a bit run down? Of course you deserve your badge. in my book: once a graduate, always a graduate. Eg I graduated with my degree many years ago but I couldn't re-sit and pass the exams today but that doesn't mean they can take my certificate away. I'm still a graduate . Same rules apply in my thinking

As Cazvs says perhaps some folic acid will help. Maybe it's "monthly" problems. That can play havoc. Take it easy, maybe some gentle runs, and it'll come back before you know it.

[earl-grey-sian Graduate]

Thanks everyone.

I've been prescribed some folic aciid supplements. I'll pick them up on Monday.

I suppose it didn't help that I went running with my 20 year old daughter, (who only ever runs a maximum of once a week and hasn't run at all for 3 or 4 weeks) who covered 3 miles in the same time, and without stopping. It's a good job I love her, and an even better job that she goes but to University tomorrow

[rockchick69 Graduate]

It's good to see you blogging again earl-grey-sian....I was missing you I was only thinking this morning that you and Big Ed hadn't been blogging for a while. It's crap that you're having a hard time at the moment, but you definately still deserve your badge. I am now on W9 and when I was a newbie it was great to read your posts Don't be down, you'll get back into it

[earl-grey-sian Graduate in reply to rockchick69]

Well done on getting this far rockchick.

Ed is fine too. He's doing Parkruns regularly and averaging around 31- 32 minutes for 5k, so doing better than me!!

Good luck with your last week

[Hidden]

Don't beat yourself too much. It's most probably your mind playing tricks on you. Now with the weather improving you'll surely be able to run more. At least I find that with me, there is a limit to how much grey weather I can take.

[kshammas Graduate]

Another thing that it could be is the sheer motivation and determination that the structured programme encourages. When I first graduated I found the next couple of runs a real slog simply because there wasn't any external motivation to keep doing it! I think it's easier to run through the difficult times when there's a reason/challenge that is very specific and clear. Without a real end-point other than just running, it's much harder to push yourself through the discomfort.

Obviously that isn't to ignore the physical aspects, but certainly as far as my own running goes, I know that the mental barriers are far tougher to overcome once they start setting in! Perhaps I just have a weak personality!

[RainbowC Graduate]

I went through something similar a few weeks after graduating; I'd spent a couple of weeks doing some of the c25k+ podcast, but found that apart from the shorter one, Speed, I was really struggling to get past 20 mins without needing a break. So I went back to week 6 and worked through the last four weeks again. That way, I had a couple of sessions where I was 'allowed' to walk, before getting back into the longer runs.

No matter how bad it feels, remember the wise words of St Laura: A bad run is better than no run at all!