I've had a really rough couple of days and it's affected my running a lot. First, my therapist cancelled our appointment and as I'm on holiday next week it'll be a while before I see her again. It affects me quite a lot when this happens and my mood's dropped as a result. The second thing is that I went to give blood yesterday for the very first time and I couldn't. I don't mean that I chickened out, I mean that there was something wrong with my blood flow and the nurse couldn't get enough in the set timeframe so she gave up I felt absolutely dreadful about this, even though I know it's not my fault, and I'm so frustrated that I can't try again for another four months.
It took me a long time to psych myself up to give blood and I was really looking forward to it. It's on my bucket list and I knew I'd feel great about doing it even though I can't stand needles. So when the nurse said it wasn't going to work, I wanted to burst into tears because I felt so useless. Everybody else who was there was giving blood with no problem and it was only me they had to send away. I looked it up later and apparently that's a common occurrence - either because you're dehydrated or your veins are small or you're just a bit cold. I still felt rubbish, though, and I couldn't cheer myself up for the rest of the day.
Because they'd already taken a bit of blood out of me I had all the tired, painful and horrible physical symptoms with none of the great feeling. I was really dehydrated when I got home so I drank buckets of water for the rest of the day. I'm quite glad I did that now because I think it helped me to get out of the door for a run today.
So I DID manage to do Week Eight Run One today even though I was still feeling bad about yesterday. When I set off I wasn't sure if I'd complete it, but I took it nice and steady and talked myself through the hard bits and when Laura told me to stop I nearly started crying all over again because it felt like such an achievement.
I'm off on holiday on Sunday but I'm still hoping to complete my runs while I'm there. I'm a bit nervous about that too because I'm flying by myself and I have to try and find everything when I get there. Still I'll have my laptop with me so hopefully I'll be able to update you all when I get there!