Couch to 5K
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Hello fellow Runner Folk,

My job is eating ALL of my free time these days and I haven't had time to post, but I have managed two rather spiffingly good runs this week. Both of them were at 6.30am and I've found it quite incredible how the weather has switched from warm summer air to cooler autumn air in a FLASH! However, it's good for running and it wasn't long before my muscles were warmed up and I was pounding the 5K route around my area.

I'd given up ever beating my 5K PB of 27'28 because I cannot for the life of me work out how the heck I did it in that time back in June this year. I have instead stuck to running with no music, no podcasts, NO HEADPHONES at all! Just me, my ears, and my iPhone in my pocket counting the K's.

Last Monday I managed a gnatt's chuff over 30 mins (30'09!) for my run and I felt magnificent after that. "That's just 10 secs short of a sub 30 Dan me lad" I said to myself as I trudged home. Went off to work and put in the requisite ridiculous amount of hours and felt pretty energetic all day. Then on wednesday, I went out again - same time, same route, same weather.

Off I went and was praying I wouldn't get any groin niggles having had a bit of a groin strain lately. I was going pretty well over the first 3K - steady, didn't feel at all out of breath and then I was into the 4th K, over Richmond Bridge. Earlier on I'd overtaken a runner along the Thames path and felt like a GIANT amongst men!! Anyway, Richmond Bridge.....I saw this geezer in the distance wearing a bright yellow long sleeved top. He was rollicking along and I had this evil thought! I would speed up a bit and pass him, leaving him in awe of my athletic prowess!

My mind did that Dr Evil laugh where he puts his little finger to the corner of his mouth and goes "Muuwaah haaa haaaa!! Muuuwaahaaah haah aha haaaa!"

I sped up. Absolutely no problem. Legs, breathing, arms all in perfect harmony as my 13 stone frame sailed along. I was gaining on him. I tried to guess his age but it was tricky. He had an army style 1950's haircut. "I can pass this sucker!" I thought. "Come on Dan you little running, speedy Man beauty!" The extra effort I was putting in was beginning to tire me, but I kept pushing through gritted teeth. I was 10 yards behind him now and with a bit of a push, he would surely fade away as I powered past?!

He lifted his right arm and looked at his watch, and then......DISASTER! He started to go faster. Much faster. AND THEN EVEN FASTER! "What the ****?" I thought. "He must have looked at his bloody Garmin and it told him to get a shift on! Blast!".

In a flash, the 1950's crew cut, yellow clad ageless man was gone!! I decided to give up. I'd failed. My pathetic plan in tatters, I slowed down to "Dan Pace" and thought at least I'd found some extra gas in the tank to speed up. Then just a few minutes later I was running underneath Twickenham Bridge and lo and behold, there was "1950's Crew Cut, Yellow Clad Ageless Man" standing, leaning forwards, his hands on his knees breathing like a horse that'd just run the Grand National. "AHA!" I thought. "Perhaps there is a God! Get ready to be passed by SuperDan!" I got literally within touching distance and he was OFF again! He one side of the road, me the other. No matter how much I pushed I couldn't get ahead of this athletic genius. Eventually we split - he went left and I went right, toward home.

I'd enjoyed my duel. It was a laugh. It hadn't done any damage to my groin so that was good. When I reached the end of my route I got my phone out to see how I'd done and nearly jumped for joy when I saw that I'd completed my 5K in 29'41 secs! Yesssssssss! A sub 30. AT LONG LAST!

If you see the the 1950's Crew Cut, Yellow Clad Ageless Man beware of his power, for he can make mincemeat of your efforts and leave you in his wake.

Ironically, that can be useful if you want to put in a good time.........!

12 Replies

One of your tabs says "finger" -- spiffingly good post Dan and well done on the sub-30' run. Delia


Actually all the tags together make quite a story by themselves!!! :-O


Indeed...gosh finger behind groin -- definitely xxx rating for that one :-D


.. at top speed too :-D


I say Delia, thanks awfully!


Wonderful post yet again Danzargo! Made me laugh out loud! :) x


You are too kind Fentaz. I'm glad you laughed....and out loud too! Hurrah!


Another funny post Dan, made me chuckle :) Congrats in getting that elusive sub 30'! happy running.


You are so funny Dan! And Fast!


Oh Dan please give up that job its interfering with your posts, there aren't enough of them. Wonderful result even though you didn't manage to pass your yellow shirted runner, it was probably Usain so don't feel too bad ;)



Couldn't you just combine your work with bringing us Chariots of Fire 2 based on your exploits along the towpath! Well done on your sub 30 mins


Sure he wasn't a ghost just there to taunt you into running faster.

love the tags.


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