PARKRUN FUN!

The sun was shining, the sky was blue, there wasn't a thing, to spoil the view. GOOD GOD! That was almost a song lyric!

Despite the traumatic news that my good pal TurboTortoise would NOT be at todays Richmond run, I straddled my scooter and headed off at 8.37am. I was wearing my running leggings with orange go faster stripes and Nike black running shirt. Having had a very pleasing run the other day over 10K, this was going to be fun. I'd decided - no pushing too hard. Just go out there Dan Me Lad and enjoy it.

I arrived (looking amazingly cool in my shades) and strutted about waiting for the man to get up on his tree stump and shout out stuff. Once he'd shouted out the T shirt names (one of which was BBC newsreader Sophie Raworth, whom I've ALWAYS fancied rotten) we walked over to the start. I manoevered myself to "near" the front as there were 348 people today and I didn't want to get crushed in the bottle neck start. I set off Endomondo on my phone, I started my Timex IronMan watch and we were off!

(Racehorse commentary voice required for this bit)

....... Dan starts off on the inside, with Weird Running Form Man on the outside, Ankle Biter Kiddies making good progress at the start with the Marshalls telling us to "keep off the grass!"......Dan going well on Sawyers Hill, moving past a plethora of heavy breathers......there's Grey Haired Hero on the inside shuffling along as he does every Saturday......Dan continues to pass heavy breathers and also Shin Guard Man who's calves are as big as Dans waist.....down Sawyers Hill now and the pace is picking up as Dan moves into top gear passing more and more runners.......a clear bit of path now as the runners start to thin out.......... we're at the 3K point now and an alarmingly attractive lady in an Orange Top passes Dan, who takes a brief look at her incredibly shaped bottom, which is clad in lycra capris.......Dan banishes any inappropriate thoughts from his head and pushes on........the dreaded uphill'ish bit approaches and Dan starts to hear heavy breathing behind him....."he aint passing me" thinks Dan as he switches on his turbo power for a few yards, just to destroy the potential overtaker......it works and the noise of the overtakers breathing fades into the distance.........down the hill section now and "super shaped bottom woman" has streaked ahead only to be replaced by another gorgeously shaped bottom......"hang on, that's a geezer!!"notices an embarrassed Dan and wonders if anyone else behind HIM is thinking "now THAT IS a shapely ars* in those orange striped running tights"........the Marshalls are clapping and encouraging now and suddenly ITV's news reporter Bill Neeley is clapping us all and telling us we are at 24 mins 20 seconds.......(wow, Richmond is full of tv news reporter types)....two minutes to go......heavy breathing Red Haired Man passes Dan with just 200M to go......"BASTAR*!" thinks Dan, as he remembers this heavy breathing swine from way back when he thought he'd left the guy for dust........and there's the finish line.......Attractive Woman stands by the path and joins her Father Man who is ahead of Dan........another turbo power boost from the Dan legs...."See ya!!" says Dan as he finds the extra Va Va Voom to go past these two........there's 50m to go and a few puffing and exhausted people going for the line.....Dan overtakes at least 5 of them and comes home in a GLORIOUS 26 minutes and 47 seconds!!!!

(end race commentary voice).

Oh yeeeeahhhhh baby!!! It wasn't a PB but it IS my 2nd best time. Well happy with that I can tell you. But here's the conundrum......

Endomondo tells me my 5K distance TODAY was travelled in 26'29???? This time, according to Endomondo, is my PB for 5K??? Yet Parkrun, two weeks ago told me I'd achieved my PB @ 26'27.

Who should I believe?????? Aaagghhhh!!!

Anyway, there you have it. I am so happy I could do a conga.

One brilliant bit of news is that I got a call today for some work which will keep me busy for the next 3 weeks. WAGES!!!! Being a freelancer, this is such a relief because I was beginning to wonder if the phone would EVER ring!!! The hours will be long and I have no idea if I'll have the energy to run over the next 3 weeks, but we will see. I am DEFINITELY doing the Turks Head Beer Run 10K next Sunday and have told my employers NOT to expect me in work that morning as I can't afford to miss it. Stay tuned dear reader to see if I manage any early morning runs over the next 3 week period.....

Thank you for all your incredible support and kind words on my blogs. You really are a super bunch of friends.

Dan.

29 Replies

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  • Lol, great post, Dan. Had a few chuckles especially when the lady in orange with an incredibly shaped bottom passed you but even more so when ogling another shapely bottom which turned out to be a mans :) Brilliant. Great time (which ever one you believe).

  • Haha! Cheers PAul

  • That was so much fun I felt as if I was there ! Hope you manage to run over the next 3 weeks because if you dont I will miss your posts x

  • How kind GJ. Thank you!

  • I've been to the races this week Dan, think yours was more fun. I'd bet on you anytime. Congrats on your 1st or 2nd PB.

  • Thanks Tready. It's kind of nice to have two PB's!!

  • Cracking good time, PB or not, and a very funny post. Loved the race commentary. Good luck trying to fit in the early morning runs- I bet you do!

  • Thanks AM. Glad it made you giggle.

  • Wow! Felt like I was there! Congratulations on a good run! :-)

  • You were weren't you? Hahaha!!

  • That's secretly what we're all doing it for... improved a*se admiration... Our own and others' ! Your race sounds great..awesome times and loads of fun!

    Great news about work.. More pennies for purchase of even more glittering tights.

    You can get Miles Y to give you a call when he gets up (3.29am) and be virtual running buddies.. That'll help you fit in a days work too. No problem. X

  • Thanks Jaqs. I think the 3.29am alarm clock is a bit beyond even my superpowers!!

  • Congratulations on both your latest run and picking up some work. Being freelance is a mixed blessing isn't it, like London buses - nothing for ages then it all comes along together. Hope you get some running time.

  • Too flamin' right! I've lived like this for over 30 years and it still drives me nuts.

  • Yay Super Dan! I am sorry I didn't make it on such a lovely sunny morn, but I was... *cough*... tired (reaches for paracetamol and full-fat Coke). You know my time last week was almost identical to yours? There could have been some very un-British elbowing on the finish line.

    Good news about the work. It really can be feast or famine, the freelance life.

    Did I mention I went to school with Sophie? I'm sure I could arrange an introduction... ;-)

  • I think you were a WHOLE SECOND faster last week weren't you TT?

    You went to school with SR? Amazing!

  • I enjoyed that so much Dan, I really did read it like a race commentator! Glad you had a good run and a good time too, whether its a PB or not. Good news on the work front- I'm sure you will have the energy for a run or few as well! x

  • Ahhh thanks no-excuse. I tried to imagine a Peter O'Sullivan style voice doing the commentary. What a voice that guy had!

  • Oh I agree, trouble is I started off like that but somehow ended up with Murray Walker! x

  • Fantastic run Dan! Great news about the job even if it does mean you need to rein back a bit on the running.

  • cheers UR.

  • Wahay, Danny boy, that may or may not be a PB, but there is certainly some consistency coming out of these runs and the usual brilliant reports. Stick with the Parkrun timing, I reckon. phone GPS systems are just a guideline................except for when they tell me I have just beaten my 10k PB......then they are spot on.

    Keep running, keep smiling.

  • Yes, we should only refer to app's timings when they are faster than OFFICIAL ones!! Hear hear!

  • Way to go Dan the Man! Great news re the work...could the remuneration pave the way for some sparkly lycra??

  • Sparkly lycra? I'm not bleedin' Liberace!! Hahaha!

  • what a delicious blog...you are the dogs b******* of HU. I was thinking what you said about that girls delicious arse, and I have noticed ( as I do, being a woman and all that) that men round these parts don't seem to wear much in the way of tight shorts or tights ( unless over 60). Thats not fair, and some of them are superfit hardcore types who would have the most amazingly hard and shapely bums that would prove useful in achieving new PB's to get me up the hill!!!!!! well done I am v jealous of your parkrun time :)

  • Yes, shapely bottoms ARE beneficial to Parkruns. It is annoying though when they go so fast you can only admire them for a few minutes. Still, there's always another not far away I always find. You should start a campaign at your local parkrun to get 20-50 year old chaps to "Lycra Up"!

  • Great blog. I love the shapely bottomed girl runners - they distract from the pain of running to your max. I remember one of my first park runs, i was overtaken by a pretty perk bottom lady after about 1k. I decided to follow it and became totally mesmerised on it for the remaining 4k of the run, it helped me to a PB. Best running incentive you can have.

  • Hear hear!

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