The sun gleamed like a big torch in the sky, flooding my kitchen in it's morning rays. Once the kitty cats were fed it was time for a nourishing bowl of porridge and honey. It was 8am, so plenty of time for everything to go down nicely. At around 9'ish I sauntered over to the bus stop clad in my running suit with my number 256 tacked on to my shirt. Alighted the bus at ST Margarets station and walked down to the start area.

I immediately saw a familiar face. She was standing quietly in a queue and I bounded over to greet the lovely TurboTortoise! She nearly had a heart attack and asked if I too, was in the queue for the "ladies". I assured her I wasn't and popped over to stand in the sun to keep warm. Although Mr Sun had his hat on today, it was chilly in the shaded areas by the river which was where were all gathered for the start. TT joined me and we went looking for the other c25k'ers. Sadly, we never found them but not to worry - we walked over to the start line and took our places amongst the throng.

A bearded man approached us, all nice and friendly and started chatting. I realised pretty quickly that the man had FORCE 10 Body Odour. He was clearly one of these guys that doesn't launder his kit and just throws it in a draw, in readiness for the next outing. TT was smiley and friendly, chatting to him and I was wondering if her nostrils had been invaded by the putrid stench yet. If it had, she was putting on a brave face!! Eventually Stink Man decided to go and gas some other poor people when all of a sudden.....we were off!!

I was a bit nervous I have to say. I was worried and embarrassed that I might cough like a docker and thereby have to lose contact with TT. Alas, twas not to be and I survived the entire 10K without any incident. But here we were at the start. I had to try and manoeuvre myself past FOUL STINK MAN as he was running in front of me, gassing my path. TT was ahead of him and I did a cheeky little in, out and round slip, to get past him. Phew! TT and I chatted and got to Cross Deep, the road which would lead us to Teddington Lock.

All of a sudden, the yellow shirt of STINK MAN passed us and it was then that TT gagged. He was a good ten metres ahead of us, yet the stench of trench armpit and unwashed laundry permeated our nostrils. What were we going to do? We came up with a plan to pass him. It was the only way, because to be behind this guy was tantamount to suicide. But to get past this blizzard of maloderous thunk, we would have to put on the turbo boosters!

We rocketed past him, holding our breath, then dramatically gulped in the clean air once we were ahead of him. Our lungs said "thank you", as we inhaled cleaner air, despite the traffic fumes. Anything was better than having to endure another second of the foul stencher - now behind us thankfully! Eventually we reached Teddington Lock and a welcome walk break took us slowly over the bridge. Hundreds of runners battled with "ordinary" people coming the other way on the narrow footbridge, but eventually we were over the other side of the Thames and running towards Richmond. I'm sure STINK MAN had left a trail of destruction in his wake behind us.....

More chit chat along the way. I learned about a 20 century composer called Messiaen from TT. She learned what a dolly and jib were from me (film making camera equipment). Another amazing thing about TT is that she can recognise birdsong. "Ohhhhh! That's a blue nibbed song tit thrush lark" she told me at one stage. I think that's what she said - she's incredibly musical. I told her running with her was an education. It is.

We crossed Richmond Bridge and headed the 2K along the other side of the river to the finish line. TT was putting on some serious pace now and I was struggling to keep up - but I did! Just. That is......until the finishing area where her incredible legs took her at great speed across the finishing line. I huffed and puffed behind her (not by too much mind!) and there was my lovely wifelette Mrs Dan cheering and waving - right at the finish!

My time on the clock as I passed was 59'34. I'd done it. My longest run since coming back from "injury" and I was sooooo pleased to clock under the hour. TT and Mrs Dan chatted away as Mrs Dan gave me a towel she'd brought with her, so I could dry myself down. Oh! And also a cold flannel she'd put in the freezer before coming to meet me - just so I had some 5 star luxury at the finish line! It felt good, plastering the cold flannel onto my boiling neck.

We continued our search for the others but never saw them. That is....not until later at the pub. Mrs Dan and I could only stay for a short while, as we had a "social function" to attend later near our house.

But there you have it. A wonderful, fun, sunny and friendly run to start the summer with. I'll take that.

The pic was taken in my garden when we got home. And don't worry.....everything went in the wash (unlike some horrid men I can think of. He probably got home and put his kit straight into a drawer....bluuggghhhhh!!!!!)

Thanks for reading!

yer pal



Featured Content

Join the NHS Couch to 5K community

Couch to 5K has been designed to get you off the couch and running 5km in just 9 weeks

Start today!

Featured by HealthUnlocked

30 Replies

  • It sounds amazing, I so wish I could have been there for a bit of bum scoring!! Well done, great time Dan :)

  • Fanks babycakes! Slower than when I ran with you....but it was FUN! You should consider it next year? Perfect time of year to start the "Summer Season" n'cest pas?

  • Well done Dan (and TT).

    Sounds like a nice run, malodorousness aside.

  • Thanks Dunder. It was faaaab!

  • Well done great photo and time. Just think it might of been over the hour without having to spurt past stinky man 😀.

  • I hadn't thought of that RFC? Genius!!

  • Well done Dan. Thoroughly entertaining post as always.

    Shame about poor stinky man. Maybe the poor fellow's nose doesnt work, maybe you should have let him know so that he could rectify his problem ;)

    Recovery from injury is a splendid thing isnt it. Almost worth getting injured for, though not quite !

  • HAha! Not quite Zev, but it IS nice to feel yourself getting closer to how you were before.

    I have to say I'm terrible with being able to be honest with peoples personal hygiene. I'd rather run away!!

  • Fab post as always Mr Dan. I can only aspire to being able to do a 10k or indeed in a time like that. Your posts always make me giggle. I was making in "phew, stinky" face whenever you mentioned Stinky man. Just as well the wind didn't change to tail wind after you'd passed him....... 😆

  • Haha! Thanks Noaky12.

  • Oh my lord, what is it with resident stinky man?! I had one at a local five miler the other week ... seriously, man, have a wash and work out what the big white metal box is in your kitchen (or utility room if yer dead posh)!! I think they hang around with person-overtaking-me-whilst-pushing-a-buggy who also seems to be resident at all events :D

    Well done on a fabulously quick road to recovery. Glad to see that fitness has been maintained and normality is resumed.

  • Thanks so much FH. Appreciate that.

    Men are so revolting...sometimes.....

  • We all have our moments, regardless of gender ;)

  • Looking slinky Dan! :) is that quite a muted outfit for you though!??!!

    well done on a mammoth effort, and on keeping up with super-speedy TT! yuk, stinky BO man! its weird how people must adjust to their own pong, or maybe they like to feel resplendent in their sweatyness! :X Still, it sped you up so can't be all bad, well done on a triumphant return to racing! :)

  • Yes, todays outfit was subtle. I didn't want to take over and have loads of people ask me for my autograph. You know how it is!

  • well, you are super famous i know in these parts! i had to restrain from asking you at the LWR!! :)

  • Great to see you are back out there giving it some stick, Dan. I wonder if your rank running comrade is a reader of this way to get a message across.

  • You're right. Let's pray he's reading as I type....

    Thanks dude!

  • Sounds like a great run in the sun, Dan; glad you're back on form.

  • Cheers OldNed. That's real nice of you to say.

  • Yay! Another marviliss chapta in the runny life of Dan! Well done. Fab time and sounds very entertaining!!! Well done to TT too!! As for stinky man! That's just foul! Nee excuse fo that man!!! Gross!!! But yeah he did you a favour speeding past him!!! Canny photo too pet!! Nice bling!!! Glad your back on form!!!

  • Brilliant post Dan ! Great to hear youre back on form with all guns blazing :-)

    And look at you , cool as a cucumber and fresh as a daisy with a great big smile plastered across yer chops !

    Well done to you and TT ! :-) xxx

  • That was a good read Dan, I Like your turn of phrase for the great unwashed it did make me 😊 . Well done on your run and a good time to go with it.

  • Dan, you've just had me choking on my wine gums with your tales of Mr Stink! What a great run and a great time too, I'm so pleased you're back and running and certainly back to form from the sound of things. Nice pic too! x :-)

  • Well done Mr Dan, you're too fast for me now, I'd be stuck with Mr Stinky! (Lordy I hope not yuk, yuk!)


  • Haha! Was worth the peekaboo!

  • Well done Dan and TT. Sounds like a good time was had by all. Another medal I see! Gosh one or two medals appearing about the place. I feel very jealous I must say.

    Sorry to hear you had your nostrils offended! Pleased though that your lungs behaved themselves and didn't let you down. Hopefully the worst is over and you can get back to your old self and full fitness

    Have a rest tomorrow. Give those legs a day off!

  • Poor Mr Sweatshop! (Ironic that he was indeed wearing a Sweatshop t-shirt. I think he took that too literally). I must have been standing upwind of him at the beginning so I didn't get the full wafts of his ripeness until we started running.

    So glad you are back on form after your extended lurgi!

  • By the way, a useful guide to recognising British birds...

  • Great commentary as usual Dan. How wonderful you did not have to stop for a cough great going. Love reading your posts. Big smile from me.

You may also like...