I'm in Cornwall. Visiting Mrs Dan's parents who are looking after us well and who always have the most stonking wine. I meant to be careful last night but as usual got carried away with a lush rioja followed by the cheekiest of Shiraz's thereby waking up with a bit of a thick head. Not to worry, I was gonna go on a run - my first "training run" using MyAscis app for my half marathon which IS JUST 7 SHORT MONTHS AWAY!! OMG! How will I be ready???

Calm down Dan. It's yonks away and I've got plenty of time. But I'd forgotten about the terrain down here in SW England. It's well hilly man (screechy teenage voice). My father in law told me what route to do - a big loop which he reckoned was about 3 miles. Perfick. I set off clad in electric blue running tights, neon yellow long sleeved top and neon yellow running jacket (it was chilly). Cornwall had never seen such running brilliance so watch out you locals!

The first thing that went wrong, was I immediately forgot the directions I was told. I'd been down this narrow country track loads of times in the past (in a car though), and thought I knew where I was going. I could already hear Mrs Dan in my ear laughing her head off, calling me a stupid idiot for ALWAYS getting lost. It's another of my many talents, getting lost. I am absolutely hopeless and have been known to get lost driving home from work in the past, despite working at the same location for 6 months!

Not to worry. I was enjoying the solitary run, breathing in the cold air and smelling farm yard smells which reminded me of my youth spent on a farm in Ireland. I could see tractors in fields working away and it reminded me of me helping my Dad on the farm back in the 70's where he let me drive the tractor. God that was fun! Anyway, back to business. The first hill struck after a kilometre. MyAscis plan had instructed me to run 5K today at a very easy pace. There was absolutely nothing I could do about pace today - it was always gonna be mega mega slow because THE HILLS HERE ARE LETHAL!!

Betty Buttocks took a pounding as I "ran" up one hill that lead immediately into another. This particular gradient was sly and cheeky, as it pretended to be level. It wasn't. It sucked at my muscles and I remembered JuicyJu showing me her technique for hill running. Pump those arms and run on tip toe. I did as I was taught and it worked a treat. I looked up to see if I'd reached the summit and my heart sank! Ahead of me was yet another hill, but this time I'd need fecking crampons to get up it! IT WAS WELL STEEP MAN! (screechy teenage voice again please. thanks). If I was going slow up the last hill, I was almost going backwards up this monster. But on I went enjoying the challenge and thinking how my Half Marathon Chummy Chum (HMCC) would laugh when I told them I had done my first HM training session.

At the top of Mount LegShred I decided to take a look at my phone to see how far I'd come - 3.5K! Too bloody far, because this would men that my run today would total 7K when MyAsics Plan had said specifically only do 5!! Another screw up - first getting lost, then going too far. Ah well, welcome to Dan Land....

Good news is that going back was far far easier. I luxuriated in the downhill sections and only had one nasty mountain to climb near the end. Two very friendly ladies in bike gear said a cheery good morning at one point which was lovely! That would never happen in London. You'd just get a murderous stare from them there. I made it home and announced my getting lost, to which Mrs Dan burst out laughing as I knew she would - "You bloody idiot!" You're ALWAYS getting lost!". She loves me really.

So now we are going to visit an old school pal of Mrs dans who is going to feed us pasties for lunch. GET IIIIINNNN!!!


yer pal


14 Replies

  • Spent my first 5 years in the Navy stuck in Cornwall, they do have mountains there :)

  • Haha! Well done Dan :)

    PASTIES, oooo I love a pastie. Please make sure you also have a Scrumpy or two, and maybe a Cornish Blonde, or Cornish Knocker beer. They are the best! x

  • Ha ha , I loved reading that, it was funny !

    Oooh Pasties , they make 'em HUGE in Cornwall don't they ? They are the size of small mountains, you wont know whether to climb it or eat it :-D

    Hey, I got a smile from a male runner last night , I was well chuffed ! Mind you , I think I scared him half to death with my fierce grimace as I was chugging up a hill . He probably thought I was a potential axe murderess ha ha :-)

    Well, the training is well and truly ON , Good Luck Dan and have a lovely stay in Cornwall . Its okay , we have warned all the locals that youre in the area ! :-) xxx

  • you even have Idiot as a tag ;)

  • Ive just noticed the tags as well ! Ha ha :-D xxx

  • I've made the grave error of trying to cycle in Cornwall too, around the Zennor moors end. I know what you mean about hills that seem to level out but not quite then become even steeper hills... I ended up walking my bike up a lot of those hills... and then loving the freewheel coming back down them :)

  • Great tags Dan!

    Sounds like a great start to the training. I bet you will feel those muscles tomorrow!

  • Good read as always Dan.

  • oh you're in Cornwall. Have you seen any sign of Poldark or Demelza? Send him my way if you do. He has a horse for the hills - you might want to try that as it's much easier than running I hear.

  • Well done..those Cornish mountains are a killer...I went up a few for the Eden half..... Glad my technique helped ...Hope the pasties were good...have fun and enjoy Cornwall

  • Ha ha ha!!! What a divvy man!!! Enjoy ya passteeeeeez!!!!

  • Ta for making me laugh out loud Dan!

    those hills sound truly epic! Well done for tackling them

  • Love the tags. Enjoy your well deserved pasty.

  • Idiot, buttocks, running. Sums it all up really. Enjoy Cornwall. I was there a couple of weekends ago and thought I might go for a run on the Sunday morning until I actually looked at the hills and decided better of it. Enjoy the pasties, and don't forget a cream tea (cream on top of jam not the other way round!)

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