Bereavement Care & Share
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Information on Wills... can anyone help me?

Afternoon Everyone,

I was wondering if someone would be able to give me some advice from the following situation. I know its been 3 and a half years since my fathers death but all this conflicting information given to me recently has made me question everything that happened around the time of his death. I was 20 when he died and didn't cope very well so it was safe to say they couldn't hold me responsible for making my own decisions at the time, I'm still in help for my bereavements to date.

I was always told by my father he had a will and that if anything was to happen it would go to me and my two brothers. When he died my step mum, who had been there all about 5 minutes, (approx. 5 years to be exact married 18month) said there was an old will from our family home, which was sold from his second divorce, he and my step mum bought a house together using money from their own homes selling/divorce settlements. This new house didn't have a will according to her my father and her had a "draft" will which was never signed up. When it came to his death I know she had to go to probate but everything was kept hush hush.

About 3 months passed Jan/Feb. time and I got a letter from a pensions company my father paid into, I told my step mum as I trusted her opinion at the time and she told me to tell them I wasn't financially dependant on my dad. (he used to give me cash but I wouldn't be able to prove it she also didn't know this) So I sent the letter and heard no more then in the summer last year after feeling a little better I decided to chase it all up. I found out someone changed my address for me and I never got the settlement letter which stated she got £17grand and the second sum of £17grand was split between my two brothers leaving me with nothing.

Now money cant buy back losing my father but I still don't believe everyone has been 100% honest with me in this and I have been taken for a complete mug. Can this even happen? How do they get looked after and I'm left struggling to make ends meet, this wouldn't be what he would have wanted at all.

Thanks, Leenie

9 Replies

Hi how awful for you and I am so sorry for the loss of your father at such a young age. I do know official wills always have a copy made by a solicitor which is sent to a central location and held on file there. I don't know the name of the place but googling should bring it up.

I think you would benefit from seeing a solicitor. Many of them offer a free half hour so have a look around your area and book a session. They should be able to advise you what to do.


Hi Leenie0811

This is so complicated, you really need to see a solicitor asap and write it all down before you will help.



Thanks for the info I just dunno if I have left it all too late will they not question it all because of the time? I'm going to have a look for sure it keeps bugging me a lot thank you 😊 x


Grrrr this makes me so mad..not you babes I'm going through exactly the same babe they are lying somewhere along the way for a start if you haven't changed the address or details contact them asap because she fraudulently changed it or someone in the family has it would be her though because she's his widow? The thing is your dad made a will so they have to honour that.but the step monsters never do. greedy so and so,she is if your dad has left her soul beneficiary then she will gain it all and then she can change it if she pleases .but if your dad has left you a certain amount then she has to honor it. I'm having the same problem my mum died 10 years ago and I'm still fighting for it because my mum left all to my step father but stated me and my sister to get it and split it but he cut us out his will.I've managed to get a copy of my mum's will and I'm going citizens advice because probate solicitors want £500-£900 up front then it rangers between £180-£250 per hour consult with your solicitor. It's a expensive path so I've been advised to go citizens advice or take his family to small claims court. Do you know who did your father's will originally.xx


Because they've excluded you (left you out) you can do something about have 12 years to resolve a will dispute mines been 10 years ago after my mum died and I'm still trying and I'm the same as you it's eating at me for some reason wether or not it's mum trying to tell me to get it I don't know. A nd no your right it won't replace or bring our parents back but it's their wishes it's what they wanted and there's no way my mum would of left her children alone with nothing Leenie0811


Thank you for the information I have been in touch with the pensions lot and they said as I signed to say I wasn't financially dependant they decided I wouldn't be a beneficiary of the money my brothers are both under 18 so they automatically got half of the pension. Something still doesn't add up about the wills though if it invalidates it as he remarried surely the part declaring to his ex would be the part that isn't valid coz we haven't changed from being his children. I spoke with my Aunty (dads sister) and she said she knew nothing of my dads wills or anything like that as he kept it all to himself my grandparents were disgusted with how my step mum reacted to it all and refused to speak to her. Same goes for the rest of the family they stopped trying with her basically when she got the life insurance and pension payment that was her finished with us lot. She says she has drawn up a new will which splits the house between us 3 and her 2 kids but I don't think it's likely.

I have one last hope in trying to find out where the will from the previous marriage was done through I don't get on with my ex step mum but I'm sure she would want more for her kids so I could get hold of her but it's a big risk... I don't have money to pay for private solicitors otherwise I would have done it by now it's horrible what she has done to us all. I really feel for you Natzsteveo and your situation I hope you can't get sorted Hun and you're right they wouldn't want us struggling without x


as others - you need professional advice - you might find that Citizens Advice Bureau might be able to help if you are UK based and can't afford to see a solicitor.

It used to be the case that a marriage would invalidate earlier wills but it's a long time since I looked at probate so things may have changed but this may be part of the story and confusion.


I am going to try and get in touch with citizens advice I can't afford the legal costs of my own solicitor surely if your parent leaves something to you it would remain valid just the partner would change I don't understand all this stuff it's such a mess


hope you get the help you need from citizen's advice.


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