My step fathers family have no shame

My step fathers family have no shame

Since my step dad passed in February 2017 his family have completely shunned me and my daughter they said that we r not their family they've even gone too low..when my mum died 10 years ago she left a couple of rings for my daughter for when she's 21 which is in a few months time they know this and they have buried them in his coffin with him!!! They said we ain't getting anything? They've even buried with him the video cassettes I wanted with me my mum and my daughter when she was a baby.😭.theyve got rid of my mums belongings they gave them to charity shop I'm absolutely gutted they were sentimental value.theyve even got my step dad towards the end of his life to cut me out his will too they say he left all his and my mums savings to HIS FAMILY.which I'm not bothered about I'd rather have my mum than any savings they obviously are so greedy to make sure me and my daughter r cut was bad enough to find out he had died without them telling me and now this so sad because when mum was alive they couldn't do enough for us just goes to show how callous and greedy and fake some people are has anyone else ever had problems with step parents/family?

33 Replies

  • :( so sad

  • That's so painful for you Hidden

    People never fail to surprise me, just when you think they couldn't hurt you anymore and now this, shame on them.


  • I have to wonder Natzsteveo

    Now, we need to help you recover, so what can I do?


  • You just being there for me is enough at the minute chloe I'm not too bad all said and done I'm keeping myself together chloe40

  • I can sympathise with you there my step mum was married to my dad for all about 5 minutes they were together for 5 years and when my dad died she made sure she got everything and we got nothing we don't speak anymore while she lives in his house with all his money and belongings. I'm not one for money either but she has taken the lot and I'm sure she has a new man my dad died suddenly so she said there was a draft will never signed up but my dad always told us that we would be looked after and he trusted her to do the right thing if he was to go first. I never got solicitors involved but my brothers got some of a pension as they are under 18 but I got nothing she made damn sure of that!!

    Here if you want to see how it is on the other side her and that family of hers always tell us kids how hard it is on my step mum not that we aren't heart broken completely get where you are coming from babe it's disgusting isn't it how grief can bring the worst out in people I really feel for you xx

  • That's not grief, it's pure greed! Not to mention nastiness. What goes around comes around?


  • It sure is thanks Marie x

  • Aww thanks so much I totally understand the you but it's like you say our parents trusted them. my mum always worried about me because as a child I witnessed a lot of domestic violence caused by my biological father so me and my mum were stuck together like losing her was hard enough but for my step dad to promise a dying woman that her girl s will be looked after and have no intention of being in our lives when she passed was sick. 3 days after my mum's funeral I was still being the strong one for everyone I went to shops to get us all some dinner I was gone just under 45 minutes he had started throwing my belongings on the street I asked him whAt are you doing he said your nothing to do with me now so I want you both out.bearing in mind I had a 9 year old daughter and I was homeless but he never cared. Anyway he was just cruel after that I said my mum will be going nuts at him for what he did to us and he said I only wanted your mum not you for 11 years it was all fake .thanks for caring it's great we can be there for each other thanks Leenie0811 xx

  • That man's behavior was evil.

  • Oh God, that is so awful of him. How could he? :-(

  • I know I never thought anyone could be so evil and cruel xx

  • It's so awful the way that you and your daughter are being treated. People like that are predators and thieves. I feel so heart -broken for you Nat. My Mum's things had so much significance for me too, because I loved her so much.

  • Really sorry to hear this. It is actually beyond nasty! Never heard anything this evil and it is evil to do what they have done. Just remember they can never take your memories away? They will get their comeuppance one day! You take care of yourself and don't let them win by letting this eat away at you.

    Take care


  • It is evil to the core ya know what I say God don't pay his debts with money like you say they get there come uppance it was just so cruel what they have done thanks so much for replying marie

    Nat. Marie_14

  • So sorry to hear all this! I can relate as far as family problems. My sisters are not speaking and haven't been for months. There were issues when my dad became more and more ill because one sister chose to cut him out of her life (bc of his alcohol addiction), like a few mos before he got really ill. Therefore she was not involved in caring for him or helping out. My other sister did not agree with this. So they argued. Then made up. He passed away. They argued again and have not spoke. Leaves me in the middle since I speak to both. But the 3 of us were all close. I just know this isn't what my dad would want.

  • Poor you being stuck in the middle that can't be very nice for's strange how families either make it or break it when a love one passes me and my sister haven't spoken for 10 years since mum passed I've tried to reach out to her but she's just cold towards me.ill always love her though she's my sister and I totally understand what you mean about your dad wouldn't want that neither would my mum maybe one day they will rejoin together it could be because they are too alike so they must be hard for you though. Here if you need a chat

    Nat x


  • It does make you wonder why people can be so cruel, we thought because my step mum woke up to my dad dead we would give her the benefit of the doubt but she's never come round from it. Like others have said they can't take your memories I always like to think that there's so many things I remember when she wasn't around things about him she would never know and never will. We will all get through this supporting each other xx

  • Thank you! Here for you too!

  • We sure will chick xx Leenie0811

  • That is horrific and so cruel of what they have done. But in a way, you could look at it and say do you know what, I have my memories and I don't need fake people in my life. People can change and the selfishness and greed can surface when someone close passes away. We have it in our family now. My dad passed away last month, we have yet to have the funeral which is next week but one relative in particular is driving me nuts with her insensitivity and selfishness.

    I am so sorry you are going through this, especially with your daughters special birthday forthcoming and that she won't get what her Grandmother would have wanted.

    I hope you can move on and cherish your memories with your daughter. Perhaps buy her something that will always be with her, like a locket with a favourite photo that no one can take from her.

    The stepfamily will lose in the end as they will not have you and your daughter in their lives. No amount of money and possessions can buy that.

    I wish you well and hope that the heartbreak will get easier :) <3

  • Thank you so much for your kind words it's true what you say though we have our memories and I had my mum for 32 years and he only had her for 10 years all I think about now is when he arrives in heaven he's gonna get what for off my mum!!!! I don't need that family I have my own little family and like you say I have my memories locked in my heart they are untouchable thanks loads and hope you don't have to much heartache family's are not the kindest when our loved ones pass xx JOLLYDOLLY

  • Thank you Natzsteveo,

    Lets hope your mum does give him what for up in heaven! I know my mum would do, if it was my dad or a member of the family. Also remember, you are part of her too and no one can take that from you.

    Thank you for your kind words. I let a lot of stuff go over my head these days. I won't allow anyone to upset me. I tend to keep my thoughts to myself, then keeps everyone guessing what I am really thinking. As they say a smile can hide a lot.

    As long as I have my family, that is all that matters. I also have my sister, who reminds me of my mum and dad. She needs me know as she is an adult child.

    You take care and keep in touch :) xx

  • Your sister sounds so sweet bless her at least you have her to focus on now you will both need each's good you let things go over your head otherwise it will make you ill it did me for a long time it made me angry for a very long time but so glad I'm not holding on to any anger now I feel so much happier in myself.your mum and dad raised a Angel in you your sister is a very lucky girl to have you.I will keep in touch you too.xx

  • Bless you for saying that. Please keep in touch. Our Jen has Down Syndrome, is 53 but a Adult child. She has lived with us for five and a bit years now. Would not be without her. We have always been close, so it seemed quite natural for her to come to us when mum became ill. She passed away last year. I know mum was at peace knowing Jen was happy and she is. A terrible nag bag. But funny with it. ;)

  • I have a down syndrome cousin too he's so adorable very comical and popular he goes to chippy on a Tuesday and Thursday afternoon for his lunch time fish and chips he's been going that long they know what as t he has without asking haha and everyone adores him he's in his 50's too so I know What you mean about adult child.bless her I bet she's lovely well she's very loved I know that much and your mum will be so proud of you for being there for her. JOLLYDOLLY xxx

  • Our Jen loves fishcake or sausage and chips ;) But she is doing Slimming world at the moment, well we all are. But not had a good few days :( Yes she is lovely and has us in stitches at her antics. Thank you for all your kind words. They mean a lot.

    What are you going to do to celebrate your daughters special birthday? xx

  • Well she doesn't live at home now she has said she wants to go Newcastle for the night so I've offered to go with her she don't know what she wants I'd like to do her a big 21st party myself but see what she wants to do xx

  • Well whatever you decide, have fun and make some lovely mum and daughter memories :)

  • Aww thanks babes I sure will that is for sure xx

  • My experience wasn't hurtful like yours, but here's what happened. My father died suddenly, my mother six months later. They left almost everything to me, their only child, and $500 to each of their three grandchildren (my biological children.) They left nothing to my four stepdaughters, who I've raised since the twins were two and half years and their sisters were four and eight. I lied to my stepchildren, telling them my parents left them $500 each, and gave them the money. I wanted them to retain the good memories they had of my parents treating my legally adopted stepchildren the same as the three to whom I gave birth. I credit my husband's in-laws with treating my children the way they would have treated their daughter's children (my stepchildren) if their daughter had lived past 26.

  • That is a beautiful thing that you did. It's nice to know that there are folk out there who would do the right thing just because it's the right thing to do!

  • Aww that's fabulous that you did that so your step kids didn't feel they weren't important. there is some nice step parents out there then I would have done what you did nice of your kids to be excepted too. That's very rare jaykay777

  • I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through. It is disgusting how cruel and low people can be after a loved one passes. My evil elder adopted sister bullied my poor wee ill Mum into signing an amendment to her will. Elder sister now has legal right to live in my Mum's house until 2023. At that time, the house is meant to be sold and the proceeds divided between us. Already I am 99% sure that she will use some dirty trick to ensure that I get nothing - and that is most definitely NOT what my Mum and Dad intended. The adopted sister (not of my blood thank goodness. I was adopted too, but from a different family) abused my Mum so horribly when Mum was in her "care." I was terrified every day about what Mum might be suffering at the hands of that awful woman. I dream about my Mum regularly and I still miss her every day, four years after her passing. She was the most wonderful Mum anyone could wish for - a real angel. I don't think the grief of losing her will ever leave me. I'm struggling with words because I know that we are not meant to swear on this forum. It's difficult not to when you are talking about someone who is so thoroughly cruel and murderous that when my Mum had a stroke, the sister didn't get her medical help for days. She allowed the stroke to do as much damage as she could get away with before alerting the doctor. I don't believe in forgiveness for a creature like her. I hate her so much. She also made sure that my little family (me and my two sons) got nothing from the family house. All we wanted were the small, sentimental items that my Mum wanted me to have. She also made sure that my sons did not get a penny of the money that Mum and Dad had left them. She told the lawyer that there was no money left. That woman is a sociopath. She's not normal at all. If a consultant psychologist were able to observe her, she would leave with one diagnosis - Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She is downright dangerous. I am confident of my own untrained diagnosis, as my husband suffered from the same disorder. He was formally diagnosed. I suppose I do have a bit of training then - 4 years of living with him. So - two adopted girls. One - me - adores her parents, the other - the elder sister - simply is unable to have any feeling for anyone. The only thing that she enjoys is hurting people as much as she can. It's a sport to her.

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