So it will be 5 years in July that I lost my mum and miss her every single day 😞
Then the in 2016 I lost my best friend of 26 years , holding her hand as she took her last breath . It was sudden and do I miss her so bloody much
Then June 2017 mi niece who was like my daughter committed suicide after a long sickness and the demons won . This is something that really hits home as she was a big part of our family
Then last year my 89 yo Dad decided to move down with us into the granny flat , which was renovated to what he wanted , that was in June 2018 . Dad was fit and pretty healthy for his age and his mind was perfect . Then in November he got a sore groin . Six weeks later Dad passed away with me holding one hand and my sister holding the other hand with my other family members around dad as he took his last breath . Dad died from pneumonia.on 4th January 2019 and I’m bloody angry 😡, sad, depressed etc etc
I miss him so much , I expect to see him come out from the granny flat , come up for dinner, going out for lunch , our drives . Just miss and griev for him so much . I’m angry because he should not of died that way . My heart breaks 💔 . I havnt been to his grave as I can’t . Dad would of been 90 yo on the 2nd of April . We started to plan his party 🎈.
Why is it so much harder loosing my Dad ?
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Jodz
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My goodness, you've suffered and still suffering so much {{{hugs}}} saying gory for you loss seems so inadequate but I really am. You're clearly angry and that's totally understandable after so many losses. Complicated grief is grief that occurs when we lose several loved ones in a short space of time and I really feel you would benefit from asking your Doctor for a referral to a Bereavement Counsellor or therapist to give you the opportunity to work through this.
In the meantime, we have some brilliant members who have been through a great deal of pain and come out the other side, so do post here whenever you wish, you're very welcome here. x
THANKYOU Chloe40 . Yes it’s so hard and this past couple of weeks I feel I have hit a massive wall , I’m so tired and seem to be dragging my feet . Just a real roller coaster ride for me atm 😪
hi jodz gosh I didn't know you had suffered so much pain when I chatted with you a few days ago.i am really sorry to hear that you suffered so much grief.ive lost a few friends over the years its a painful loss and family members as well I am glad you joined our page as it really is added support.god bless and take care.
kenster1 yer it could be better . But I’m trying , baby steps xx
Hello Jodz ,
You have suffered so much loss in a relatively short space of time. Family and a dear friend extremely close to you. It is understandable that you are feeling a whole host of emotions and unable to face going to your Dad's grave. What is it about Dad's and daughters? 'They' say there is this extra-special bond that exists between a Father and his daughter. I feel there is between myself and my Dad. Real or imagined I am lucky to feel it.
It is important to do what feels right for you at the moment. Try not to be hard on yourself Jodz, you can visit your Dad's grave when you are ready and when you feel strong enough to do so. Give yourself time. Do you have someone you can talk to about how you are feeling. It may be a good idea to arrange some bereavement therapy if you feel this may help. Support can really help.
Well done for reaching out to this Community. We do try and support one another. So feel free to reach out or drop in for a 'chat' anytime you wish. Take care,
Hi LottiesWeb yes the emotions as I said just go around and around . And that’s it I need to just slow down and let it go day by day and stop expecting all this to just stop, I am hard on myself due to my anxiety . I don’t know what I’m really expecting that’s the trouble . I just would love to see my dad one more time 😪 even though I was with him till his last breath I’m feeling he is still here .....somewhere . I just miss him so much 😞 Yes I talk to family and my partner but it helps there and then , but nothing is helping this broken heart 💔. I know it’s early days and very raw but it’s just so different. As you said that Father / daughter bond xxxx
I can hear your pain Jodz and know some of that yearning. One day at a time Jodz, Try to take one day at a time.
Do you feel that you could talk to your dear Dad and tell him how you are feeling? I talk to my partner who passed away over 4 years ago and I find it helps me. It is a difficult one, could you write a letter to your Dad or write down how you are feeling. Maybe it is about 'living' with that feeling because that is how it is right now. Give yourself time, that word we do not want to hear. One day at a time Jodz and if you can try not to look to far ahead.
Hi Lottie yes I’m always talking to dad . I even go down and sit on the chair outside the granny flat where he lived for 6 months and I chat away to him , always telling him what’s going on . I think I just need to step back and yes a day at a time . Just miss him so so much 😢
My heart hurts so much for you. I can tell you are in a lot of pain right now. Have you considered counseling? It may be a great way to help you sort out your feelings and give you some tools to help move forward. I know if you call 1-855-382-5433, their Licensed Professional Counselors can help get you a referral for a professional local to you. If you're not ready for that, maybe try a support group? I know GriefShare is a great international program. I've had several loved ones go through the course, and it was very beneficial for their healing journey. In the mean time, here's some great resources to ponder that I give my bereavement clients (I'm a doula and lay counselor) to help get the process started. list.ly/list/2Eu7-a-guiding...
Hi thedoulamon thanx for your kind words . Yes I have thought about it , but that’s about it . I do talk a lot with family and friends about how I’m feeling . I will def look at that link . Thankyou x
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