Grief and heartbreak!

[jojo23pink]

Hi everyone. I lost my dad 3yrs ago on the 30th may 2015 to a heart attack. Since the day he died i have been miserable as sin but have continued for my 3 children as i know he would want this!! Its so depressing for me as i cry all the time i never thought i would lose him even tho he did suffer from angina and painful legs etc etc so he was prone to problems especially his heart but u just dont think it will happen to u and devastate ur family... he had been takin aspirin to help thin his blood and prevent his blood from clotting and possibly causing a fatal heart attack and on the 20th may 10days prior to his death he had an angiogram at the hosp and somone had told him to stop takin his aspirin....he come home and told my mum he didnt need to take it...then 9 days later he went to his doctor and she said he does need to take it and prescribed him somemore. He come to mine that day as normal left around 11pm went home my mum went to bed at around 1am and my dad slept on sofa as it was hard to go upstairs..the followin morn my mum come dwn went to ask him if he wanted a coffee noticed was stil dark and the curtain still closed went in room and found him sat on floor but face down head and torso on sofa asked him what are u doin not thinki the reality of wot it was and turned him over he was cold stiff red fat face she three him on floor his legs still up as rigor mortis had set in cryin rang ambulance they come out was already dead been like that around 6hrs. I tried suin NHS!!! Their fault for tellin himbto not take aspirin evej tho he needed to he akways took it and never had major attack then soon as he stops takin it 10 days later had fatal heart attack!!!! I blame them i had no success in suing cos they say my dad was destined to have heartbattck they make me sik!! Autopsy confirmed blood clot blokinnpart of heart caused attack and i blame the clot on lack of aspirin becsuse they told him didnt need t take it!!Alwaya wana cover up their backs!! Anyway i grieve everyday pic what he went through see his cold dead pale rottin face all the time keep seein what i seen at the chapel his cold hand in mine it completely breaks my heart i miss him terrible and now hes a pike of ash but its only his body in there his soul is with me in the air! Share ur storyb

sorrt for spellin i rushed lol

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi jojo23pink and welcome to our supportive friendly forum.

I really am sorry to for the loss of your dear Dad. You are obviously angry about his treatment and loss and this is perfectly normal with any loss, but you feel the need to lash out and I don't blame you but it won't bring him back jo and I hate to say that, Many of us have felt exactly that, it gives us a purpose There have been lots of us in this Community that have experienced a similar situation to you and I hope they will reply too.

You need to find a way to say goodbye and begin grieving, as personally, I feel it is affecting your health, you say you are crying every day and I have to say a trip to the Doctors is in order and a referral for Bereavement Counselling or/and taking therapies.

In the meantime, you rant away and find support here as much as you need to but please remember you need to look after yourself and your family now jo {{{hugs}}}

Take care

Chloe

[jojo23pink in reply to chloe40]

Thanks....means a lot...will take all that into consideration. X

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to jojo23pink]

Please know that we're always here for you jojo23pink xx

Chloe

[chloe40 Administrator]

kenster1 Can you add to this post Kenny?

Chloe

[kenster1 Volunteer in reply to chloe40]

yeah not a problem chloe.

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi I'm very sorry to read your story always heartbreaking when we know the n.h.s/doctor could have done more.my dad had back pain for many months and he was told by one doctor it was arthritis and another doctor something else.my dad was bed ridden for weeks near enough only getting up to cook for my aunty.just by chance he got up for the toilet as the doctor came to his home and even then his exact words where see there is nothing wrong with you.my sister was adamant that he was going to hospital and the doctor reluctantly wrote out a line.he sat in pain for nearly 12 hours before being seen to.the doctor who saw him said how did you even make it here and my dad asked why.then he was told he had blood cancer and kidney failure.he was kept in hospital for 3 months.while in hospital they took away his zimmer wheelchair and other walking aids even his grabbing stick and put them in the toilet meaning he became bedbound.my dad needed the toilet and was being escorted by a nurse fell fractured his hip.i got a phone call telling me he fell but I had nothing to worry about.due to the effects of the operation my dad had delirium for weeks.the night before he died my sister heard him scream from the other side of the ward.the next day he developed a football sized red mark on his side they said it was blockage of his bowels.a few hours later on this easter sunday he passed away.heart failure due to complications of his operation.i was told heartfailure was the most common thing to right on a certificate as it was for statistics.i feel your hurt I really do its terrible that happened to your dad.have you sought any legal advice as I was told we had a year to act after what happened to our dad.this is hurting you I hope you have been seeking help from a relative or friend.you have your dear mum and she has you to help each other and you also have me and everyone else on here.god bess your dad and take care of yourself.

[jojo23pink]

Thanks for ur reply. Sorry about ur dad and what he went through. Hope he rests in peace😇love❤and light🌟and im sorry for the pain n suffering u also had to endure of seein him like that and losing him..doctors are good at misdiagnosing and giving people the wrong advice but theyll get away with it always have always will i had 3years from when he died to try and no success i went to solicitors wrote letters to nhs and all they could do is cover their backs blah blah same old story...another patient in the morgue..no loss to them..a lot of loss to family. He was destined to have a heart attack they basically said and also no evidence of him been told to stop takin aspirin..i told them " there isnt going to be any evidence of him been told to stop takin his aspirin because they werent meant to tell him that. They arent going to write down information that they werent meant to give and drop themselves in on it" haha..atleast i tried. I wasnt suing for money either( even though it always involves money to them) reward someone with money.money means nothin to me it wont bring him back i only sued cos i wanted someone named and shamed! Well who ever they were i hope they endure the same suffering my dad did😊..my mother dnt like to talk about it...she still slags him off now ha!!! Still not happy he once knocked her tooth out by accident haha. Cant do owt now love hes dead no no one to talk to. I usually get more sense talkin to me myself and i 😅feel like im going nuts lol take care x

[Evelynarnold]

Hi there, I'm so so sorry for your loss and I can really relate as my dad died in front of me with a heart attack!! I've never got over it and he is always in my thoughts. I talk to him daily and although I'm not religious I do believe we will all see our loved ones again when we pass to the next life!! It's the most painful experience I've ever had to go through and I suffer with depression and anxiety and a deep all encompassing loneliness!! Your in my thoughts. Love never dies and it's hard to carry on in life isn't it at times!., But know as bad as it gets. We all have to go through the loss of a love one and we are all here if you need to scream!., rant!! And talk things through!!! My heart goes out to you. Sending a big hug your way. Xxxxxxx

[jojo23pink in reply to Evelynarnold]

Thank you so much thats such a lovely message and means a lot especially coming frm someone i dnt know lol ..im so sorry about ur dad too that must have been heartbreakin seeing that...i truly am deeply sorry and hope u are finding some kind of comfort frm his passing...thanks means a lot x

[jojo23pink in reply to jojo23pink]

Sorry i worded that wrong i mean i hope u are finding some comfort coping with his passing x

[Evelynarnold in reply to jojo23pink]

Don't worry I understood what you meant. Hope your getting help and support and remember we are all here for you. Xxxx