Hi everyone feeling soooo low right now dont know wot to do!!! my lil bro died on the 23rd of march this year he was only 26 we dont know why he died all we know is that it wasnt anything to do with covid-19. We havnt been able to lay him to rest yet, they've done an autopsy but found nothing so they have to take his heart away for tests but the place where they examine the heart isnt open because of covid-19 so we dont know when we'll be able to lay him to rest. I never share my feelings with anyone ive got so much grief and anger inside me im still grieving my fiancee who died 11th October 2000 he was 23 then my baby niece died 23rd May 2007 day after my bday, then my lil sister died on the 23rd October 2016 she was 30 she was the mother of my baby niece who died, now my brother. I feel that i have to be strong for my parents, for my children and my grandchildren,i now feel everyday is a chore nd that im just existing nd one day its all gonna hit me all at once and im just going to explode........🤬😡😭
Sorry for the rant xx
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Tats1981
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No wonder you're feeling so low, this is such an awful position to be in. You have so many pent up feelings but no where to channel them.
I can't imagine how you must all be feeling, with no answers and no way of finding out for some time, it's just prolonging your pain, bless you.
You've had so much loss in in the past few years that I would suggest when the time eventually is right and things start to get back to some sort of normality, whatever that may be, is to ask your Doctor to refer you to a Bereavement Counsellor or therapist.
In the meantime, to try to get rid of a little anxiety, try music on headphones, exercise any way you can, punching a pillow, yes! it works.
Please pop in here whenever you wish, we're here for you always.
The doctors are still open for things like bereavement counselling and they want to hear from you when you are in need of them but I think they are doing phone appointments at present.
I’m so sorry. I pray for comfort to be upon you and your family and you will all get through this difficult time.
I’m glad you reached out. I hope you will find encouragement here. Keep posting, we are here for you. If you think you need help from a professional counselor, please do so. Please keep us posted. God bless.
Oh wow.. that's so much for anyone to process and respond to and move forward. I'm so sad with you, that's really tough. All I can say is, grieving may last for a season, our memories of those loved ones who touched our hearts last a lifetime. Please try to use their love and life as motivation to give and love on others around you who are still living. These are really tough times we are living in with all this pandemic craziness, hold tight, hopefully you will be allowed to get the answers you seek on your little brother.
We had similar situation with my older sister, she was overseas when she passed and also died unexpectedly in her sleep. Getting answers was difficult, but finally we were able to determine the cause of death. It does help to understand it more, but is still very difficult nonetheless living a life without your loved one. Please know you are not alone and are very loved by those who are in your circle of care. My favorite phrase these days is this, "This too shall pass!" Praying for you!!
Thank you all for your comments, really appreciate them xx
I'm sorry to hear of all your losses that have happened quite recently and this covid 19 thing doesn't exactly help either but well done for writing things out on here as writing things down always helps.
Sounds like life has really hit out at you over the last 20 years, I'm not you've been feeling so down + got at by life! I won't say I know exactly how you feel cos I dont , but I did loose my brother when he was just 20 + I was 18, I'm a bit older now but I can still feel and remember everything that happened,
was said, the funeral and every moment I still haven't completely gotten over it!! No one can tell you how long bereavement lasts and how best to deal with it! From reading your postings seems that as you're trying to get over losing one person, and then you've gone through another one!!
And losing your lil brother so recently and not being able to go through the grieving process properly, and no obvious indicators as to why he passed, so prolonging everything so you're not getting the chance to say goodbye making it more. complicated and not knowing what emotion to feel when!
My thoughts & prayers are with you I can't and
won't tell you how to feel. Until this whole covid-19 has slowed things down & work and tests that would normally happen in a week or two, is taking twice as long.
Unfortunately, as they haven't easily discovered why your brother died of can cause stronger feelings to occur to some people such as hurt, anger, depression, and an emptiness!!
I notice you said you have to be strong for everyone else!! Who's looking after you?? If you don't look after yourself at some point you will not be able to look after anyone else!!
Sorry to say that but if you don't start looking after you, you won't be in any state to do anything for anyone who will be relying on you and needing you to be around for them when the time comes to bring everything together ❤ with your parents!
Until you are able to bring your brother to his final
resting time and place! I'm no gonna tell you what you should or shouldn't do, but is there anyone else who can help bring together you brothers final resting arrangements? Is there anyone who can help such as your parents, so you can share the load and not feel crushed under all the paperwork, whilst trying to look after the other family members who need you??
I hope and pray that you don't have to wait too much longer to lay your brother to rest peacefully and the family can grieve properly!
Please don't forget to start to look after yourself first, so you can then be there for others when you are able to or need to!
I wish you my prayers and blessings and hope that you are able to bring you brother to his rightful rest very soon!
Also never forget we are and will Always be here for you, when you need us
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How to get over witnessing traumatic end of life
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Advice on Grieving <3 
My dad is gone 
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