I haven't written for a while however I believe that this topic maybe an interesting one.
During my councelling I was told that I have blocks or emotional blocks or something like that. I have been finding out more about these, to start to understand them and try and start to break them down.
The first issue that comes to mind is my mother. She is not one for indepth talking about her feelings, she will go for a walk or do something like house work rather than talk about issues or feelings.
I am unsure exactly what to say on the topic of myself and my mother and our reationship however, I have tried to ask her about her feelings or have tried to have more indepth conversations however she is very reluctant. What comes to mind now is that I do talk about my feelings or my issues with her however she tends to react unencouragingly. That is perhaps the reason why i don't do it.
Perhaps I need to start by not asking her about her feelings or issues that she might have.
I feel as if I have a real issue with talking about things or problems that are hard to talk about. I feel asif they are being blocked, or perhaps that I am blocking them from coming out. I feel asif they are stick down below in my belly area. I feel emotional now. It is an important topic for me.
lots of love,
Marcus xxx
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marcusvanbreugel
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8 Replies
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Hi Marcus
I was only thinking about you last night & hoping you were ok & get up to see your blog
I can understand about your mum , I have a Dad exactly the same
He has never been that way , sometimes when we are brought up with parents like that as a child we may think its not acceptable to talk about our feelings , so we shut them all up , as we do as children tend to copy our parents lead
I did as well for years , till something made me realise I had to open up , I wasn't the kind of person to bottle up my feelings , I needed to talk & now I do , everything comes out , & I am at the stage I will say how I feel
Still though its never much with my dad , I have tried asking him how he is & he still just brushes it of , I have come to accept that is the way he is
I have a really good friend though & lots of other people that I can talk to about my feelings which is a huge help
Your counselling seems to be getting to slowly deal with all your issues , & I see such a difference , which gives me so much hope , for when eventually I get my appointment
Its great to see your blog , I hope you will let us no how things go with your mum
I wanted to add that I am sorry to read that you have similar issues or difficulties with your father. It is nice to read that you now talk about your feelings.
Yes I have good friends & hubby , so I am very lucky in that way & I find as long as I talk & get it all out , for me it doesn't really matter who it is I talk to , as long as I can trust them & it gets out , that's the main thing
I think rose has a brilliant idea , writing it down , I have done that before , it does really work , well it did for me ,if you feel like it give it a try & just see if it makes a difference for you ,
You will have to let us no if you do & it works
Big Hugs
whywhy
xxx
Hi Marcus you are doing so well be proud of yourself. I hit blocks in my therapy and it was so tough, I felt like I'd been kicked in the belly, couldn't talk or explain as the words wouldn't come out but I worked with my therapist and when we processed the blocks I felt huge relief. I have no relationship with my mum I am at the conclusion that she doesn't like me and never has and it's too damaging to me to try to understand why (there is no reason as I have only ever loved and worried about her) I am letting the feelings go but it's not easy. Keep going and it's lovely to hear from you love eve x
I understand about your mother, my two sisters are the same - ANYTHING rather than talk about feelings!!! I almost tend to joke about it now with others, like - OMG, there's an emotion, better run!
One thing you could try, as your mother can't/won't talk about stuff, is write letters to her - with NO intention of sending them. It's a well-known strategy, and it might help you explore YOUR feelings - i don't think you're going to explore her feelings, she sounds like what the psychs call "well-defended" - meaning that, for whatever reason, she's put up barriers against emotions and, as you say, she'd rather hoover or wash up! So, try writing her letters as I say NOT to give to her, just to try to get your own feelings out. It might help!
Keep posting, sounds like you're making great progress!
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