Emotional disconnect

[shrs3]

Do you guys feel so disconnected to friends and family? Like sometimes i think if someone called me saying my dad died, im bot sure how i would react. I have no emotional attatchment to anyone. I havent seen or talk to a lot of my immediate family in months and it doesnt phase me. I just have no attachment to anyone anymore. I feel so bad. I just want to feel again

[Agora1]

shrs3, I'm ashamed to say that I have distanced myself from my only sister for the last 5 years. Not because we don't get along. I seem to have no emotional attachment either. I don't see or talk to anyone. My sister leaves me messages on the answering machine practically in tears that she misses me but never gives up that one day everything will be the same again. I've missed so much in the 5 years I was agoraphobic that I'm embarrassed and have chosen to hide. She has a large family and I protect myself from hearing about what is going on and happening with everyone. This all started when my mother passed away 6 years ago. I do feel bad as you do. She is the only one left who hasn't turned her back on me. I know she doesn't truly understand anxiety but is still willing to be there.

[shrs3 in reply to Agora1]

Has it gotten better with time?

[Agora1 in reply to shrs3]

Hi shrs3, the agoraphobia is gone and I do talk with my sister on occasion by phone but normally prefer to email. (sad but true) since there is only so much you can convey by email. As for going over to her house and being a part of the family again, even knowing I would be welcome with open arms, I feel a little embarrassed. Time does go by and I know it's not going to get easier. Right now my goal is set for Christmas, maybe I'll make a surprise visit.

[shrs3 in reply to Agora1]

Yea im not close with anyone in my family and overtime its been worse. Ive always had a front. I think just because of how ive been taught and how self conscious i am. My family would like my brother and sister more than me. They were more talkative and approachable. Now overtime i have no one from my family. I mean i have my parents and siblings but i just dont feel connected to them. Its devastating And im just so lonely.

[Agora1 in reply to shrs3]

I can understand that shrs3. You know it is true that most of our issues go back to our family life when growing up. Unfortunately there are no manuals in how to be a good parent. Not that most don't try but mistakes are made which may leave a permanent mark on the child's psyche causing problems later in life.

I'm very aware of other families and their closeness with their partners, children and grand children. How can 1 sibling from the same family have it all and the other feels not quite connected. It is lonely but can also be very uncomfortable in being in a gathering where you feel you are looked down upon. I feel for you. xx

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I experience this. Ive a diagnosis of EUPD

[shrs3]

Im not on medication anymore. For me, my parents and everyone else in my family didnt know how to show affection. So i guess its just kind of learned