Oh no, a job offer

Just had a call from the agency I registered with, they had a job for me until June/July possibly to permanent. I turned it down.

I feel so so bad turning work down but I was too afraid it would be too much for me. It kinda sounded like it may be. I am scared to take chances on it in case I let them down or feel bad again. How can I be turning work down after working all my life it's madness, I'm so afraid I would end up feeling bad again, but just don't know. If I had said yes I guess I would have worried about it all weekend as I would have to start on Monday. Although now I feel bad refusing work.

It sounded like a very interesting job, but I think quite full on too......will I ever feel confident again to say yes .....


8 Replies

  • I totally get where you're coming from.... I turned down a really good job offer 4 weeks ago and now Im thinking .... what if...

    But everything happens for a reason, I wasnt in a frame of mind to do it and actually dont know if I am now.... You have to take care of yourself, and you know what youre capable of and what youre not!!

    Something else will come along that is maybe not so 'full on'....

    Its ok to just want to do a job with no pressure..... I know we can find that hard to accept sometimes, esp when you have had good jobs, it frustrating when you feel that you cant do what you used to... but its no shame,,,,, lifes for enjoying, so why put yourself under undue pressure...


    Ker xx

  • Thanks Anne,

    I know your right, and I don't think I'm ready for a full on role at all. I don't want to make myself ill and take steps back. I was honest with the agency and said I'm going to be fussy about what I take on as I don't wish to go for a role that is too much for me.

    Thank you xx

  • Ive just given a part time job up because of anxiety and finding i was drinking more and eating more cos it made me miserable

    Now I have the consequence of money worries so am looking for something less stressful

    Today Ive done nothing but curl up with my two dogs and try to sleep, They are now due for another walk so Ill have to go out

  • Oh bless you,

    You will get stronger and you will have another chance. I think you done the right thing, you know your not ready so you turned it down, no harm in that and no shame either.

    I know I'm not ready so I'm not even looking. I hate being on benefits, I feel like a scrounger as I've worked for years, paid my own way. I also know I will get better and when I feel I am able to go back to work, that's when it will happen. I'm not going to rush into something which may lead to me falling backwards.

    Please don't beat yourself up, you done the right thing for you xxxx

  • AM glad you all feel the same as me. Such a relief! People are always saying a job would be good for me. I gave one up last year because of anxiety. Not sure i ever want to work again. I am lucky my husband can support me. Sometimes wonder if i am missing out on something. Work so stressful though with all people to cope with!

  • Thank you all, it seems we have experience of this in one way or another, and yes it's no good taking 3 steps forward 2 steps back. I've had to remind myself (as its easy to forget) just how bad I was getting at work...xx

  • I've turned down two jobs in the past three years, and missed out on countless oppertunities im sure if i had stuck to my career 'plan' six years ago. Now i can't leave because i feel i can barely do the job im experiences in any more, my mind has shut down completely, not many people understand my situation but i know anyone who has sufered from anxiety and depression would. You just cant push yourself too soon, why set yourself up for a fail? You need to build up your confidence in the shallow end instead of diving straightinto the deep end. Knowing what youre capable of, and knowing what youre capable of at the moment can be very different things. Take thing slowly. Have you considered some temp work at all? Dip your finger in and see how it goes knowing you have an end date in sight? Might be worth a think. Best of luck x

  • Im glad I have found other people who feel the same way, I thought I was alone.

    I have done exactly the same as you on a couple of occasions. I am long term unemployed, and as Im sure people know searching for jobs can take a lot out of you even if you dont have anxiety & depression, let alone when you do.

    When you combine all the emotions of anxiety, depression, and job hunting, and in my case family arguments - well its hard to smile in that situation.

    You feel under pressure all the time to get something, when you least feel able to.

    My recent situation was that I had a couple of interviews for a position (a very good high paying one), and to my suprise I got the job. But then of course reality sets in, and you start thinking of Monday, and being in a strange place, with new people, and so much to take in.

    And doubts arise, can I do it, will I be ok, where is the toilet, will I be lonely at luchtime, what if I screw up. I dont know about anyone else, but the thought of being in an office building all day makes me feel trapped.

    Well i turned the job down because I wasnt sure I would be able to cope with it. And the moment you turn it down, you feel like crap because you are not sure what the future would of been, if you have taken it. And now here you are upset even more, because another opportunity has gone by. I felt so low, I thought about buying a bottle of sleeping pills, and leaving this world altogether.

    Now instead of facing the new job on Monday, I have to face the Job Centre. Can you guess I feel like total crap ;o(

    Well of course, none of us know how the job would of gone. Perhaps it would be great, or we would of hated it after a short time.

    The only thing to do for me, is concentrate on part time positions - jobs I could do easily. This will get the job centre of my back, and also give me some spare time.

    I wish everyone the best, glad to know there are other real human beings around.



You may also like...