Went into work to pick up my uniforms. I got an idea of what Ill be doing.. and it scared the crap out of me... My anxiety went from 0 to 100 in a second..... I was under the impression that my job was helping to run the catering Not running the catering.... There is no way I can jump in at full speed and put together a dinner for 100 people.... I may have to tell them today that I can`t do it .....God I was hoping that getting back to work in a small way would be good for me..... But this level of responsibility right away after not working for 5 years and being in this anxiety driven mind set is not going to make things any better..... Now I feel terrible and my anxiety is full on.... Ill have to take my Xanax soon if I can't relax......What was I thinking taking on a job this soon after all the stress I have been through.... I am so panicky now about calling the chef... If I don't Ill have an attack at work and Ill have to leave.... But if icall and quite Ill feel like I have let myself down I am in a bind here what am I to do.....
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