job hopping, cant settle, whats wrong with me ?

[celest]

hi everyone,

its been a while since ive been on here. the story goes ,just over a year ago i quit my job of 12 years due to my boss, cleverly pushing me until i could not take anymore of her nitpicking. subsequently i quit, which in turn made me ill, i couldnt cope with what i had done, by putting myself out of work and totally out of my comfort zone. anyway i had counsilling, cbt and stress class early on this year. they were good at the time but you soon forget how to put them into practise.

In between all of this i took up voluntary work at a junior school, which i am only just starting to feel good about.

here comes my confusion: i got a little part time job at a newsagents and also a cleaning job at someones house. i did them for a couple of months, then another job came along, so i quit them and took it thought it would be good, cos it was closer to home, as it happens its turned out to be the job from hell, ive given my notice in today, after only three months, im now panicking thinking have i done the right thing, as im forming a pattern.

About 14 years ago i did exactly the same thing, and never wanted to end up like it again............................

the whole thing makes me feel so ill, it drives me crazy, cos i never know what to do and feel i cant carry on for much longer like this . there is also the voluntary work in september. to think about.

help someone, help me to clear my head.

thanks for your support

[Hidden]

O celest

I am sorry you seem to be in such a pickle

Now I dont work & hope someone that does will come along later & answer

But I do no that when it comes to making choices in life over most things I am swapping my mind & always so unsure & worry if I have done the right thing , I think people do in general , but of course anxiety can enlighten this

Someone once said to me , try & keep it simple , if you make a choice & its the wrong one , then you can change it

Now to me I do struggle with this concept , even though it does make sense , but when I am getting into a flap , in the end that is what I say to myself

If the last job was the job from hell , well that was no good for you

Maybe the next one you take , if it is a good job & you like it , to stop what seems a pattern you think you may have developed , stay with it no matter what else comes along , unless it offers a lot higher pay that is

Sorry I no this might not be much use , but I hope it might help to no someone has read your post

Love

whywhy

xxx

[celest in reply to Hidden]

thank you whywhy, ive been reading susan jeffers book feel the feae and do it anyway, she says that ther is no such thing as awrong decision, i just need to convince myself of that. is good to be able to come on here and get help. thanks again.xx

[seyi]

Celest

First i am sorry to hear that you felt pushed out of your job that you seemed settled in and comfortable.

Some people are really unsympathetic and no other words for them except bullies.

Firstly when we are struggling with panic anxiety etc we seem not to think very clear and make wrong choices.

I say this because when i was at my lowest i was prepared to throw in my job that i loved and plan was to get a job more local.

The reason for this is i felt safer to home and would involve no travel as my biggest hang up was the buses.

Then i sat and thought about it and decided to give it more time. I started to think what if the job and people i am not comfortable around or the work is something i am not really interested in. I thought hold fast as i could be coming out the frying pan into the fire.

I suggest you make a list of what you would like to do.

If you wish to work locally travel and what kind of work makes you happy.

sometimes people talk about money but its unimportant if you are not enjoying what your doing.

Please don't think of this as a patten just give yourself time made a decision and stick to it.

I sincerely hope you find that dream job.

Wish you luck and put all this behind you and move on to a brighter future.

Hugs

Love Seyi xxxx

[celest in reply to seyi]

thanks seyi, i havent slept all night, thinking oh my god what have i done, this job is local, im thinking that i want to retract my notice, then i get all confused again, thinking should i. i feel that i cant carry on like this, maybe i didnt give this new job enough time. im so confused and am really panicing. i so close to breaking down. ive got to go to work this afternoon. its a new shop and we are all new and over these past couple of months everyone has had their moments. i should of rode it through. i will be on to my 5th job in a year, and its driving me crazy. ive already got fears about my new job cleaning a pub. was thinking in the night omg what am i doing. i dont know what to do.

many thanks seyi. love celest.xx

[seyi in reply to celest]

Celest so sorry that this is effecting you so badly that you are unable to sleep.

Maybe start afresh and keep this job for a while to see how you cope and how you feel. You may feel comfortable being you have no one breathing down your neck Make notes on how the day went this can be a help also.

Sometimes anxiety scrambles the way we think and we do things rationally something that cannot be helped.

Your being a little harsh on yourself and i think having 5 jobs in one year is better than having no job. If you are going on interviews and being given the opportunity your personality and confidence is shining through. Just try although its hard to take your time and think it all out before jumping in the deep end.

Know how you feel because like i said i was prepared to throw the towel in a couple of months back thinking i was doing the right thing. But sitting here no i know i would have made the biggest mistake of my life.

I really wish you well and hope you can work this out that it may bring you back into a comfort zone and happier within yourself.

Big hugs

Love Seyi xxx

[hairyfairy]

I spent most of my working life job hopping because of a tendency to get bored with what I was doing after a short time, another reason was that I never really fitted in anywhere, & was often bullied by my boss or other collegues. the result of all this is that I`ve got such a sketchy work record that employers won`t consider taking me on. I`m just marking time until I can quit signing on & become a pensioner in 2015.