Hi everyone, I'm new to this site and at the moment reading through everyone's experiences is providing me with some comfort to know that others feel like I do, but my anxiety does feel particularly out of control at the moment and quite frankly I don't know what to do next.
My anxiety started as a child, my dad died suddenly and I found him so I have always felt very anxious that everyone else that I love will die suddenly too.
Work makes me anxious, I constantly have an impending sense of doom and have huge difficulties with sleeping, going to sleep is fine, but I can't stay asleep and when I wake I can't make my mind switch off. I have a great job but it's looking like I will be made redundant very soon so I'm applying for new jobs, but even though I have a masters degree and a great references, I feel that I'm not good enough to do anything else.
Just reading this back makes me feel so pathetic, what a loser I am. But hey! this site's anonymous, this is how I truly feel so if there's any advice you can give me I would be very appreciated!
Written by
traceyab
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I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing anxiety. A year ago I was admitted to a n e 4 times in the space of 5months , 3 in an ambulance :(. I'd never been in one before or had any hospital visits apart from a very bad bruise. The 1st 2 I had no idea what was going on I though I'd been food poisoned. It wasn't til the 3 rd time the medics said I'm suffering a panic attack. I had had a traumatic 2 yrs. I was living happy and working in oz, living with my boyfriend an Australian, life was amazing. Then I got an emergency call to come bk home my dad was very ill, no one knew what were going on. I got home and found he had a flurry of strokes all over his brain. Life has been a struggle since, he is very mentally and physically disabled, its heart breaking, I'm his career joint ith my mum, lost my boyfriend he had go back oz and I'm staying here with my dad. I have no job and suffer massively with anxiety and anxiety attacks. Before last Christmas I had no hope in anything but then I read a book many people had advised me to as it changed there lives. I'd only read 1 book since leaving school defo wasn't a reader but I gave it a go and I still read it most nights. It's called 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne. My life is picking up since reading its changed my thought behaviour for the better and my anxiety is becoming much more manageable, I also bought angels cards they help me to. I am on beta blockers they really took the edge off and helped me sleep, and no drowsy effects. My attacks come on out the blue, I had one this afternoon driving to the post office, nothing was bothering me, it just hit me, I threw up all over myself and my car then went home crying, sweating and shaking. In bed now reading and chatting on these forums, as I also find talking about it really helps. Yoga and Pilates really help too and general exercise. Comfort helps me, sounds daft but I love to pick up my cat, she'll snuggle me and it helps right away. On holiday I had one and got my 32 yr old cousin to hug me lol, I just had an anxiety attack and said quick hug me and tell me it'll be ok, he did and I was fine in minutes. Sorry for the essay I could chat on this topic for ever, you'll get there, even tho it seems faraway at this time, step by step works
There's a therepy called EMDR which deals with trauma, that may help with your issue when you were a child.
You poor love, finding your dad like that. It was bad enough for me just having to take mine to the hospital to die, but I would have been in shreds to find him like that. I do hope you find a way through this. I'm not able to advise you, but will be thinking of you.x
Thank you everyone for sharing your own experiences with me, it really means so much. I need to figure out what to do to help me manage my anxieties. I've tried counselling which didn't help but I've heard on here about CBT so will research that some more.
Normally I can cope it's just when something new comes up it escalates to something that encompasess my life. I'm so lucky that I have people in my life that care, finding this site and reading about others and knowing that it's not just me and I'm not a freak gives me strength. xx
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