With suffering anxiety & panic attacks, it is RULING my life! My daughter does not deserve this. My question mainly is, any mums or dads out there that feel like me? Feel like a complete failure because I can't even sit by the pool & watch my girl swim, can't go to the shops? My sister had to take her to get my daughters Santa photo done this year...how the heck can I miss that???? Every Christmas present I've ordered online so I didn't have to go to the shop...what sort of pathetic excuse of a mother have I become???? I start CBT tomorrow, so fingers crossed this helps me! I take Valium for when I feel my panic attack coming on, yes it helps & I know it's not an amazing drug to be on...but for now, until I get this crazy shit going on in my life sorted...then Valium will be in it also. In regards to the Valium, my dr wanted me on 2.5mg morning & night. This didn't even come close to stopping or reducing my anxiety levels. We had a recap the other day, and thought we'd try 5mg in the morning & 2.5 in the afternoon if I needed it. I find my anxiety etc is no where near as bad in the night as it is during the day...I guess at night time when it's late my subconscious mind knows I don't have to venture out to the big wide world so my symptoms subside. I've just take 5mg now, as I could feel some heavy anxiety coming on. It's relaxes me, but now I'm pissed off with myself as my whole family are enjoying the sunshine outside eating dinner & im way in my room eating because taking 5mg makes me drowsy. Can't win!!! I've found taking 2.5mg every 2-3 hours works, but I only ever take maximum of 12.5mg of Valium a day. It's a vicious cycle, that I want to beat SO BADLY!!!!