what can i do with my life

[newb118]

if im not ill i.e anxiety,depression i am bored,i just dont enjoy anthing about life even when i do have the time i have nothing todo i wouldent like go to a pub or anything because 1 i dont drink and 2 i dont really have any people in my life,i have family but they have their own life now,i just to get out and meet nice people and stuff but i dont know how and i dont trust people anyway,my mind feels so confused all the time,i really dont know why im here and what do i want from life? nothing,i have car and dog and a little money im not working because of how messed up i am,and who would want to work when they dont even want to be alive? p.s sorry if i dont reply its hard on my phone,i will reply to all coments when im next on a computer:+) but i do read your comments

[Hidden]

Hi love

I no about meeting people making friends it can be hard

Try not to focus what you havnt got , but what you have got

Lots of us have little money ,,,,same here ,,,,,but you have a car ,,,more than me lol & a dog they do say is a mans best friend

Now I have a son , he doesnt drink much , but he still goes to pubs , what about a quite pub , where you could have a game of pool

Swimming maybe , any activities you might enjoy , that you could join locally , we have a member that likes taking photos & goes for walks & takes pictures

If you could get the motivation to go out , it would help the boredom , just little things maybe to start with & build it up

I have a best friend , yes lol I , we have been friends over 20 years , I met her in a meeting where i hadnt gone to make friends , so once we get out its suprising what can happen

My son goes to football matches he started going on his own as none of his other friends liked football , he has made loads of new friends , he is a bit shy , but as people kept seeing him & talking to him , friendships just happened

I no all I have said is hard to do when we are suffering , but hope you will be able to think about things , others may have better suggestions , hope something works for you

Let us no how you go on

Love

whywhy

xxx

[seyi]

I agree with Whywhy Please try and find some hobby i am sure there is something you enjoy. The only way to make friends is going out and then maybe you could learn to trust people again.

Wish you Luck

Hugs Seyi xxx

[Rose555]

Hi newb118,

Totally empathise with this. You're not on your own! Have u tried doing something that you can pick and put down when you feel like it? Sounds a bit daft, but cross stitch, seeing, knitting? U can see results quite quick and can be a rewarding hobby that wouldn't mean taking you too out of your comfort zone too quick. I don't know if that is anything like what you're in to, I know a few people that do it and love it. I'm thinking about joining a walking group, if u have a dog this might be something of interest. Sorry if these are lame ideas... Just start small and work up I guess is what I'm saying xxx

[worrymagic2013]

Hi I always thought I was no good at making friends... Kept going to things and then being disappointed when people seem to be in their own groups. But now I've realised - it just takes a really long time. Two years is my guesstimate for grownups encountered casually. But if they keep seeing you at the school gate/cafe/pub/evening class, if you can accept that it just takes ages, then people do open up.

This has been a hard lesson for me but now after 2 years of casual acquaintance with the other mums,I'm starting to feel like I'm gaining some new friends.

I would say tell yourself it's a long term goal and then just keep going to whatever your thing is, for its own sake.

And good luck!

[Kaz12345]

Hi, as usual I think Whywhy has given some very good advice. It is very hard to get motivated and to do things when we are felling down and depressed. You say you have family, could you visit them, invite them to visit, do they have any children you could offer to take out once in a while? When out dog walking could you make the effort to chat to others, even if its a 'Morning' to start off with. I find people love to talk about their dogs and I've made a good friend that I met whilst dog walking. We often meet up to walk the dogs and have a good old chinwag. if you like dogs, how about finding a local dog training club and offering to help out. they often need people to help at classes. Im not saying its easy, but there are nice people out there and although you aren't going to make friends instantly or enjoy every activity straight away, I find that just getting out in the world and having a conversation with someone helps some days.

[Mandy26]

Hi newb,

I understand how you feel. I too felt like this. I got very little enjoyment out of my days until very recently. I am a bit of a loner, I like my own time and space. So whilst my partner goes out with friends quite often, I prefer to stay at home. But I realised all I was doing was going to work, coming home, cooking tea and going to bed to do it all over again the next day. It didn't help that I don't enjoy my job. So my days were rubbish and I got really down. I would cry every day thinking I was worthless and I would never amount to anything. Seeing all of the people around me smiling, doing well in their jobs. It wasn't until I started reading a magazine called 'The simple things' and a book called 'The happiness project' by Gretchen Rubin, that I realised there was a lot more to life (Both talk about how the smallest things and changes in life can bring us enjoyment) I really looked into the small things I did and saw that gave me enjoyment, I realised I love reading, I enjoy photography and nature, and I love home interiors, I too have a dog and I love walking him. I started to go out in the afternoons on walks with my dog and taking pictures, I'd come home and stick the kettle on and read my book, and I have started to create a business plan to open my own home interior business. It actually took me hitting rock bottom to pay attention to what I really love and to be true to myself rather than thinking I needed to go to a pub or a club to have fun. Are there any small things where you think, actually I really enjoy that? It tooks me weeks, even months to find enjoyment in things again. I used to find that I would try so hard to find enjoyment in life that I got stressed, confused, and did even less. But when I broke it all down, and thought about things simply, slowly I started to feel better.

xxxx

[Hidden]

Going out with a dog is good,I often chat to other dog owners and will say some of them are lonely as well and enjoy passing the time with you.

[Mandy26 in reply to Hidden]

I wish I could chat with other dog owners, my dog just jumps all over their heads, they get annoyed, I get embarassed and off we toddle. Lol. x