What does my future hold

[shrs3]

Hey guys. So todays been a bad day for me. I got out of therapy and i swear it totally wipes me off all my energy. I didnt go to class because i missed an exam last week and im so far behind in it i want to drop out and retake the course. But then of course i feel like shit about it. I just want to be able to go to school and get a degree like everyone else idk when it became such a challenge. I know im only 22 but i dont even have a full associates degree yet. I feel like a loser. I dont even know what i want to go into and i have no drive or motivation to study. I had a dream last night i was 30 and i was still stuck in the same place i am now. I was anxious, didn't have a degree and was stuck working the same retail job. I was so disgusted in myself and depressed. I just want to fast forward 5 years. I dont want to be where im at now for the rest if my life. Its hard to imagine accomplishing anything in the next 5 years though. And all of my friends will have degrees and careers and i will still be stuck in retail

[Hidden]

Idk if its just me but you sound really very intelligent. I have a feeling that you will make it through this. Best of luck, you will get there in your own time.

[shrs3 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I just always look at where other people are my age and compare myself to them like omg theyre already done with school or make more money than me what am i doing wrong

[Goldfish_]

Let's hope you can be a master of your destiny rather than a victim of your past.Determination, motivation and work will be required if you want to succeed

[Juneh-uk]

Honestly I think you should stop putting pressure on yourself to attain a degree. Try and sort your emotions out first. There is more to life than college and degrees. If you deal with your problems, like you are doing, slowly but surely a good future will follow automatically. I think young people are under such pressure to achieve qualifications. It makes me sad that you're worrying so much, when you should just be enjoying life. Take your time and think about today, not five years or ten years down the road. Good luck with your therapy!!

[shrs3 in reply to Juneh-uk]

I know its like i just want to be better now. I always think its not fair that im like stuck behind everyone else because i cant focus or im just too anxious to get up and get going to work, class, etc. And other people dont get it. Like they think its easy just to get yourself together or that anxiety and panic is just an excuse. And then watching friends your age already graduating and making more money makes me feel shitty

[Juneh-uk]

That made me shed a few tears pff. My son is in the same situation as you and it's breaking my heart. His school friends are all doing well and he hasn't been out for almost 6 years. Anxiety, panic and sickness just like you Try not to worry about what people think, you have enough on your plate. Continue with your therapy and hopefully you will have a breakthrough. I hope you have supportive friends and family. My heart bleeds for you honestly. If you ever need to chat, don't hesitate to inbox me. I will help if I can.

[shrs3 in reply to Juneh-uk]

Awe im sorry to hear that. Im hoping for a breakthrough soon im just so tired of being this way all the time