Urgent help whilst I am at work

[GrayEm]

I am sitting in a big meeting at work getting more and more stressed and anxious. I am tempted to give up and walk out. However i want to keep going but am worried that the stress will give me a heart attack. Any urgent thoughts?

[bluebahog]

Take a deap breath and think in something that make u smile. Do it as many times as u needuntil the end of the meeting. If it doesn't worK just excuse yourself and get out of the room for a few minutes. Its not an easy situation but try to handle it the best way u can and remember that we are always here if u need us. Lots of love xxxx

[Hidden]

It can help to remember that in a big meeting there will be at least one or two other people feeling just like you....try to smile if you can...well done for being ther, nothing bad will happen to you...good luck

[sheffieldwed]

You are anxious but thats all it is you are not going to have a heart attack its just your anxiety playing mind games do what the others say and try and relax think of something funny or maybe pretend one of your collogues looks like half ape half donkey and is talking to you in chinese omg bit crap but sure you can amuse yourself a little and it will soon be over good luck xxxx

[GrayEm]

Thanks for all your advice. I survived the meeting. (it lasted all day). My problem is that I am expected to contribute knowledgeably during the meeting. I have lots of these of meetings and they seem to be bringing on more and more anxiety. Any more helpful advice will be welcome.

[Hidden]

Good for you, getting through the meeting so well

To help you prepare for stressful events you may find this exercise helpful

finding a quiet space (could be in your car or in the lavatory, anywhere where you will not be disturbed). you need about 3 minutes...

You can close your eyes if that feels ok with you

start by noticing your breath rising and falling...don't try to control or force it just let it be just as it is, slow or fast, it's ok

Then feeling the weight of your body against the chair and of your feet against the floor

Then notice any other sensations in your body, pleasant or unpleasant, just be aware

Don't try to analyse them, just be quietly aware of them and allow them to be as they are

Back to the rise and fall of your breath

Then notice the thoughts passing through your mind...as before don't analyse or follow them, just allow them to pass through ....letting them be

Then ask yourself what you are feeling..happy, sad, anxious etc

Notice what you are experiencing in the present moment without criticism or judgement and with no need to change or control, just accepting how it is

Take a deep breath and then breath out fully

You can do this mindfulness exercise anywhere at any time..it will allow your body to let go of tension....anxiety is all about the future, by staying in the present moment you may feel calmer and more ar ease

If you feel anxiety during the meeting just feeling the weight of your body against your seat and feet against the floor can bring calm...you can always go to the rest room and do the 3 minute exercise.....your breath is always available!

Hope you might find it helpful, practice at home until it feels natural and easy

Warm regards Babushka

[GrayEm in reply to Hidden]

Thanks again. I have done the breathing exercises before but havent done so for sone time. Will give it a go. Also I could do with some strategies to deal with my underlying fears. My fears are that I just wont be able to cope with the IT project I am working on. I need to somehow to convince myself thst my fears are irrational.

[worrymagic2013 in reply to GrayEm]

IT projects can be so stressful and nothing gets grownups worked up like technology! But projects have milestones and the big work is broken into smaller tasks (but you know this!): what I mean is that perhaps instead of thinking about the overall project, you focus only on the task you are doing right now.

I have had to practise hard to 'let go' of all the tasks which are not my responsibility and just assume that others will do their jobs. It is v hard for me! But I am much calmer when I think, even if So and So has screwed this up, that is not my personal problem and I will just carry on with my bit.

Of course if you're the project manager you will have that big overview of the complete piece of work. But the job is still a series of small tasks which are each achievable.

Sorry to ramble, but I also work in IT and I find that if you think too much about the consequences/cost/impact of big projects, it does get too much. Good luck and keep doing the breathing, or maybe some discreet hand reflexoology, which is what I have to do in difficult meetings.

[GrayEm in reply to worrymagic2013]

Thanks worrymagic, that was very practical and helpful advice.

[Hidden]

Perhaps you could check out your fear of not being able to cope,

Is it true that you are unlikely to cope?

What evidence do you have to support that?

Is there a more positive way of looking at your ability to handle this project?

Perhaps you can reflect on what you have already achieved...practice self compassion...make sure you get what you need to feel well and don't forget to exercise and get plenty of sleep, essential in dealing with stress.

You are coping....remember to praise yourself for that. I know we are often not encouraged to be kind to ourselves but give yourself a pat on the back when you do well and even when you don't........keep using the 3 minute breathing space, ...be wel, shall hold you in my thoughts. Babushka

[GrayEm in reply to Hidden]

Thanks very much. Very helpful advice.

[GrayEm]

Thanks Jamie