moving out set back

Thursday I was all syked up to tell my kids i would be moving out when my daugter got home from school chearing about her birthday party on saturday and how she cant wait. That was it the ability just drained from me. X said i could sort out walk in cupboard as a spare room but i dont think i can live in the same house of the person i love when they dont love my back every day i see her it hurts.

11 Replies

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  • Hi hun

    You must feel so torn , you dont want to see your kids upset , but I totally understand & agree , would drag you down to continue living with someone that no longer feels the same , would tear you apart & stop you moving on , which you need to do for you

    So tell your daughter , you will have to do your acting bit with this , but you can just for a while , that things will be even better , you will have a place & they can decorate their own rooms , have friends stop , make it sound so exciting , they do adapt very quickly , think we take longer , my girls did & they have grown up a credit to me & yours will to

    Thinking about you

    Love

    whywhy

    xxx

  • Its true what Whywhy says. Kids are not daft and do pick up on situations that are fraught. The tension will not help them and it cert wont help you. They will sense you are not happy and it does affect them.

    You have to do things for you aswell. Dont stay there for the sake of it. It wont help anyone in the long run. x

  • Im on nights now so its not too much a problem but come monday im off so i'll need to do something then living out of a suitcase the now ready to walk. the worst thing off all I have no money till the end of the months, its all gone to famliy shoping school and stuff.

  • Hi , you need to get to the council , & get on the homeless list , tell them you are on the streets , you sleep any where you can , dont feel ashamed

    Also let them no you will need more than one bedroom , as children will be stopping with you ...you should go to the top of the list

    Wish you had saved a little something for yourself money wise ....can a friend or even work sub you till end of the month ....can your ex give you some back , she cant expect you to hand over every penny & leave with nothing , she must have thought about how she was going to manage when she was wanting you to leave ...just thoughts hun , as I dont no all the in's & out's

    Have faith , its hard & maybe the first few weeks wont be perfect , but , it will come right ,

    whywhy

    xxx

  • God Tony I know just how you feel. I am in just the same situation as you. How are you going to manage until the end of the month? However the posters earlier are right you cannot be somewhere which is making you so unhappy. I feel for you.

  • Hello,this happened to me 9 years ago and it was tough but I got positive.I knew my son loved me no matter what,she didn't love me but my son did and that to me was everything.I lived in a hostel for a while and was a lot better off than most in there.Guess what mate,within weeks I had a home and my son came to live with me,that was 9 years ago,he is now 15 and still lives with me,best years of my life by far.Think about your kids,they will keep you strong,good luck.

  • thanks again for your coments I know I need too be out of he environment to get my head stright just having no money at all puts more stress on the situation. hopefully i'll get something sorted.

  • I'm so sorry for you but you have to do it for yourself, cos your kids do pick up on tensions..

    I am in the middle of wondering if me and my husband should split, he is a very heavy drinker, he won't admit he's a alcholic... I vowed 3 years ago if he didn't change I couldn't stay with him, I wanted to wait till my son is 18, well it's his birthday in two weeks and today I'm thinking is it the time, I love him so much but he doesn't or won't see how his drinking is destroying us... I suffer awful episodes of anxiety & depression since my first husband died of cancer, but wen I met him I thought he would give me the security and love me & the kids deserved, but his drinking got worse and he is in a spiral and for last 3/4 years it's got worse, he must spend £80 a week on booze then moans we don't have enough to do house up!!! Friends have said although he's not the main cause of my anxietys his behaviour doesn't help.. The ironic thing is, is that he's a psychiatric Nurse, but had his own business housing people with mental illness... Sorry for waffling on.. But hope things work out for the guy who wants to leave ??

  • Sorry error....my husband still has he's own business, thanks to wonderful girls that work with him

  • Hi Tony,

    I am a child of separated parents, my mother also fell out of love with my father; who was completely besotted with her. I was 8 when all this happened, and as much as my parents tried to play happy families, I knew that my dad was sad. I knew he would cry, and that was the hardest thing to see and hear. In the end my mum took us and left my dad. My dad was then able to get over her and move on with his life. I know it was hard for him, and deep down I know he still feels sadness about it; but he is happier now then I ever remember. I can't understand how YOU might be feeling, but I do know that you're children will know that something isn't right. The images, and sound of my dad crying still haunts me today, and I still cry for him. So please don't think that you are doing what is best for them by staying together. It was hard at first, but I eventually knew that my mother and father splitting up was for the best.

    I hope everything works out,

    JB X

  • JB Thank you very much for your input, Its very refreshing to here from your point of view I too had a very rocky childhood.

    My dad a womaniser always running off with other women i was seven when i sat one night with my mum she had a knife to her stomach threatening to end because my dad had left again.

    I sat with her telling her what a execellent mum she was and how we all loved her and needed her it felt like for ever we sat there before she put the knife down i still see it in my mind clear to this day. and swar i would be the best dad too my kids and the best partner i could ever be and would never put my kids through what i had seen.

    I make sure i am nowere near my kids if im going to break down.

    Every day thats passing now i see more and more that i no longer belong in the family home. once i have some cash i will be moving out.

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