Does anxiety affect your confidence and assertiveness skills?

Suffering from axiety for a long time has reduced my confidence and assertiveness levels to zero. This has affected my career and wonder sometimes if i will ever be confident and assertive again.This is worse at work in somuch i've left few jobs in the paast due to this.It's worse when i meet too opinionated and assertive people i feel like shrinking and hide. This makes my relationship with people so hard i feel they can sense my fear whenever i try to say something. It's worse when it involves argument i panic and don't sleep at all.

I've just requested to only nightshifts to run away from day politics but been granted only 3 months to do that. I'm already worried sick about what happens when i go back to day shifts.My anxiety levels now i such that i don't cope well especially i'm still grieving my recent loss of my mum. I'm already thinking about resigning.

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  • I can relate to everything youve said, Ive finished relationships, left jobs, missed out on so many things cos I run away.... and its only now at 48 that im starting to realise all these things ive run away from are becouse im suffering with anxiety, and for me the only way for me to get over it is to start trying to be assertive, now thats very hard when youre racked with anxiety... so Ive just been doing what I can do with little pressure so that I dont run off..... and Im hoping little by little I can do it... but realising why I was doing it has helped me.

    There is a really good book called A woman in your own right, which is about assertiveness which really helped me, and everytime I feel crap I read it... it helps.

    But maybe you need some help with the grief you are feeling over your mum, have you been to your gp for help??

    Lots of love

    xx

  • Thanks Anne, Yes i've seen my gp and on antidepressant Also waiting for my app. with CRUSE bearevement counselling. I will try this book, hopefully , i've got 2 books i'm reading at the moment, Overcoming Worry Books, i'm not a good reader but will try my best as i want to help myself.

    It's a shame when you want to do things and you can't do them because of fear then you feel like a failure then you become depressed and it goes on and on.

    I've started cbt and i will try to work hard and get wher i want to be.

    All the best Anne

  • I can relate to this, i've left some well paid jobs over the years because i can't deal with my anxiety. Any kind of responsiblity sends me into a panic. Deadlines used to effect me so badly i couldn't sleep for days. I'm in a boring mininum wage job now, i should be grateful i've got any kind of a job but if i was more confident i could have made more of myself.

  • Thank you scribbler, that's true. i've noticed that most people who r confident and assertive they r not necessary good at their work but they r more happier at work.

    All we can do is to practise these things slowly and become persistent as Anne said its not easy.

  • Draw a picture (it doesn,t have to be good) of those people who you feel overwhelmed with at your work..........then make them look stupid.clowns face.....funny hat.......knock knee,d......and stick them up on your fridge..and then see what tommorow brings (try not to laugh.lol)............best wishes

  • Thank you

  • The above is a method used by paul mckenna, usually done by visualisation...try it

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