Bereavement made anxiety worse

Hi everyone! Been suffering from GAD for a long time but was under control but now i find its worse than ever partly due to the recent loss of my mum. To get free head that is not worrying about anything these days is a luxury. I worry constantly about different things, the minute i sort out one, another crops up and it seems they are competing with my head. Not to mention the physical sensations associated with this mental torment, left sided chest pains, shoulder, arm pains and tingling feelings on the left side, insomnia and headaches. Still struggling with other worries now there's an addition of health worry which i've managed to banish fairly well in the past but now it's nibbling at me constantly.

Can't even cope well at work had to reduce my hours reluctantly, i had to withdraw from a course last year before my mum died because i could'nt cope due to anxiety. All this makes me feel like i'm failing myself. I used to be an ambitious person who would try anything without giving a second thought but now i'm a bag of nerves which is scary as i feel it's trying to take over my life.

I'm here to get help as i've heard positive stories from other people who are ex-GAD sufferers or those managing well with it. I welcome any positive input from anyone and will take it on board to beat this demon.

8 Replies

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  • Hi & welcome

    Sorry to hear about your loss , I lost my mum 10 years ago & only seems like yesterday

    It can be a trigger to set anxiety back of after you have got it under control & it is a very traumatic time (well it was for me ) so it didnt suprise me

    You are not failing yourself at all , you are feeling low & we get these negative thoughts , I think we can be very good at giving ourselfs a bad time

    If you look through the blogs on the site you will see lots of people feel the way you do & hopefully you will not feel alone anymore

    It gets said alot that accepting how we feel is the start to getting to terms with anxiety rather than fighting it as we seem to do

    Have a good look around the site , lots of helpful things & I am sure as people see your post , more suggestions will be added & people will start to introduce themselves

    whywhy xxx

  • Thank you whywhy, i am glad to talk to people who understand how i feel. I just feel that when i talk about my problems i am being a nuisance, i'm good at hiding how i feel and can act as such. But i am glad to find this site and looking forward to use it. Thank you

  • Oh we feel for you. It is heart wrenching to lose somebody so close I dread to think what would happen if i lose mine. First off I'd recommend a mug of camomile tea to settle yourself a bit more. Then ,have a look on this site and you will meet people having similar problems to share experiences with. You have done the most practical thing and spoke out rather than immerse yourself forever.

    oldhand

  • Thank You Oldhand i feel much better today since i left a blog last night for the first time. I will look around the site, i have also ordered books which i hope they will help me.

    Have a good day

  • Hi there i lost my mum 3 months ago and has anxiety and panic attacks. However i go for my second visit to the counsellor today and i cant wait i will do watever it takes to control this and be able to grieve for my mum. I have in this last week got a fab book free yourself from anxiety by emma fletcher which i have read and i joined this fab site. I have been doin my own homework on anxiety and i have had 4 excellent days dont forget its your mind and you can with practice get some relief xx

  • Thanks tobyturner,you seem to be doing quite well taking into account your recent bereavement. I am not a good reader but have ordered two books from this site hoping they will give me practical help. I am waiting for my cbt app. beginning of Feb. can't wait! Have to say i felt better last night after leaving my blog here for the first time and today was not that bad either.

  • Try not to be too hard on yourself,I lost my mum two years ago and it's been an awful time,the first year I spent sorting out her estate which seemed to take my mind off the grief but the second year I fell apart. Actually it was ok to fall apart,is frightening for sure and you think it will never end,I too received counselling. I had bereavement counselling throu cruise which is free that got me through the first few months then in the second year I had a different counsellor who gave me the care and attention I so badly needed, from that I have gone on to start to study to be a counsellor,it hasn't been easy especially with the anxiety suddenly getting a lot worse but over Christmas things got better andim feeling a lot calmer and in control. I would strongly recommend counselling as you are moving into a new phase in your life and for me life without my mum was extremely scary but now I'm learning to stand onto my own two feet and I'm also beginning understand why I feel as I do and that is a big part of getting better from anxiety. Always here to listen if you need a shoulder.

    Ali xx

  • ThankYou teddysmum, you have done very well. I feel i can shake anxiety off me and do things i once enjoyed without it blocking the way. I am waiting for my cbt app. soon, can't wait especially now that i feel worse. But for now i wil keep myself busy on this site, i've also orderd self help books.

    It's so sad when you look forward at doing something and you can;'t finish it because of anxiety. Hearing your story now i m starting to believe that with the right help i will manage to do the things that i want to do in future.

    Have a good day

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