Soon be Christmas

so what, its really not for me anymore, loved it when i was a kid of course, but not now, my ideal christmas would be not to see anyone, you bundle of fun you VV, i get anxious when the phone rings, anxious when the door bell rings, so i just want to be left alone. billy no mates, just call be billy then, mind you it was great when you was a youngster wasnt it, just thinking back now, i swear one christmas eve he was in my room, but i was too scared to look, well i didnt want some stranger in me room did i, how did he get in we didnt even have a bloody chimley. perhaps he used to be a tea leaf, and picked the lock on the front door,

just watching father ted, so fecking funny, drink, girls,

i have kept up my walk since i first came on here, and slowly made it bigger, pretty pleased with myself really, im keeping a diary on my efforts, and how i feel each time i do it, i have been anxious sometimes but try to just stay in the moment rather than the usual head for home as quick as possible, its always worse at the half way point when im just as far from home to carry on, as i am to turn around, this is a real problem area for me, but i try to just keep walking and think of something else until im through that patch.

last year i was suffering from a type of anxiety, where i would think of an event such as christmas and set my mind on stopping it, i know, crazey uh, this was a great one, as i could never achieve my goal, so i always felt awful, well at least this year im not trying to stop chrismas, who the hell was i the grinch, i dont know vv what do you get up to in that crazy head of yours. soon be chrismas all, dont come around mine though your not coming in, vv x


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28 Replies

  • LOL! Ok ....I won't ring either as mine will be unplugged! Soon be over though TG. I have more anxiety at this time of year than any other time. No small wonder I don't like it either. I think we are quite rightly Grinch's along with the rest of the world kiddies x Ella x

  • Merry Christmas EB,

    Yep, im with you EB, i like easter though, loads of choc and its legal to stuff it down, no presents, no fuss, all you have to do is eat, what could be more fun. Christmas has gone way out of control, its all about consumers, and getting them to buy as much as possible, even if they spend the next year paying for it, oh well, i feel like im going to break into a song, and i have no idea why, hear it comes 'always look on the bright side of life' oh f**k off! lol seasons wishes EB VV x

  • No there's no stopping Christmas .......thankfully there is no stopping it being over either and it will be soon and there will be a big sigh of relief.

    I love Father Ted .......sooo funny. PL

  • Hey PL,

    yes, your right PL, cant stop Christmas, and it will be over as quick as it got here.

    Father Ted, great stuff, do you like 'the IT crowd' PL? same makers isn't it. best wishes PL VV

  • Haven't seen it ......will have to investigate !!!

  • Hi Vincent,

    Thanks for this blog. My partner is exactly the same. Bah to christmas. He was never one for this time of year, particularly this year.

    It helps to know that it just isnt him. He just wants to stay at home by himself and chill out by himself. I dont like the thought of that, but thats how he need to help himself, then who am i to stop him from doing that.

    Why is it this time of year seems to knock you all for 6.

    Love Lou


  • Hey lou,

    How are you doing lou? Nope your fella is not on his own, and your right its great to know others are just as unhappy, and are suffering as much as you, what kind of people are we that get off on other peoples misery, lol nah i know what you mean lou, though its hard for both of you, as you want to do things together, the difficult thing is, that being on his own is not always best, and sometimes not what he really wants, just what his head tells him he'd be better of doing, trouble is over the years you miss out out on so many things that you just might have enjoyed, oh well, i think its great that you try so hard to support your other half lou, best wishes VV x one day your fella and me will chill out in the summer sun, chating and having a nice cold one, one day hey,

  • Vinny i love your humour. It did sound like that i was saying that tho. Whoops sorry. I type faster than what my brain is saying.

    Got the xmas party you arranged to go to first.

    Keep your sense humour going Vincent. You are another top bloke on here, and its great that you are so honest and show your feelings...................with a little tongue in cheek.

    Well hopefully next year may be better. Just have to take things as they come. one day at a time, You dont walk just because someone isnt well.

    Love Lou


  • thanks lou for your very kind words, made me smile, yep lets get that bloody party out the way first wished i hadnt arranged it though now, got some pigs doing the tunes all night i dont fancy that much.

    next year will be a good one, i can sense it, which is a good thing bcoz i cant make sense of anything else.

    agreed with the sticking in there when the going gets really hard. some people cant do it and some just can, i dont believe we are all born with the ability to care, just some, others just cant, its no ones fault, i like to think it takes someone special. like yourself, i to care for someone i love, been married for ever, i mean less for murder, sorry, no i mean 28 bloody years sorry wonderful years, and i sort of got my problems indirectly really, lost my loverly mum to breast cancer, while my wonderful wife was becoming extremly unwell from primary progressive ms, which is now at the stage of me caring for her 24/7 though in a strange way i do get some joy from helping her live as normal a life as possible, as i know she would have done the same for me, it was just bad luck really, one min we were both working and doing pretty well the next the rest of our lives had changed, all things that were out of my control which i believe put me here, oh well happy christmas every one, hope i cheered you up, im here for the week, next im doing pain and misery, im off to me bed dont want to miss me boat, always here for ya to lean on lou your not too heavy are ya vv x

  • Ha ha VV. No i aint big, wont be long though. Comfort eat with choc gateau and trifle:-).

    Bless you and your wife. How lucky is she to have you to looking after you. It must be hard but like you say rewarding. I believe strongly you dont leave someone regardless of any health issues. Ok cheating, beating different story. Like you say these situations are totally taken out of our hands. No-one can predict what is around the corner. When i got back with my partner i knew he was a miserable git, but never knew all this was going to happen. My friends think i should move on. Gets me that. What happens if that was me. Would my friends turn away from me. I can never get my head round that. People are so selfish nowadays. Its me, me me. Thats why i come on here, because i can say something without being judged or just some advice can change the situtation around.

    Good job you are here for the week. Keep us all smiling.

    By the way you are right you would have done less for murder. The way its going now 3 x's over.

    Be good and my thoughts are with you and your wife

    Love Lou. xx

  • Hey lou,

    its been a bit of a journey thats for sure, im 45 now and have been married for 28 long long years happy years i mean, so that made me, god so bloody young, lol, it wasnt a happy time for family, this can be confirmed by the number of guests we had, er, that would be 2, my best mate and my wifes best mate lol, true story, i phoned her in the morning and said 'are we still doing this, or what' so cool back then, i should have been in movies.

    quote 'i knew he was a miserable git' lol made me giggle,

    oh boy, you hit the nail on the head lou with the selfish people, i think it all changed in the 80's people became very selfish, its sad but so true, as soon as my wife became unwell the absolute truth is we didnt see any one any more, we dont have any one come here or even ring from one week to the next, its like you can catch something from us, or god forbid might ask for help, couldnt give a monkeys though, dont need them,

    'be good' cant promise that lou, nice chating with ya lou VV x

  • Morning all, dya know what, i used to love christmas, my house would be transformed into a grotto on the 1st December every year, i loved the snowy weather outside, i always made a snowman with the kids (i lived in Huyton Liverpool years ago, and my snowman got robbed, can you actually believe that, but it did, true story, my kids were young and were gutted), anyway, i just loved the......, i cant find the word im looking for, but its like a ghostly, eeeerie feel to christmas, but not scary........but these days, my christmas spirit has gone, i dont know how or where, but i feel like scrooge, even tho ive bought all my presents online btw, they're still not wrapped and under my tree, which is still not up and in the corner of my living room in its box..........ive got no motivation, and i want ME back, the fun loving, happy go lucky innocent person i used to be.......i dont know where ive you understand what i mean, or have i gone totally out of my mind :/.........

  • Hey linny,

    Someone pinched your snowman, are you sure, how desperate can you get, (someone tell linny they dont last all year round). I know how you feel linny, i cant believe how i was, and the things that i used to do, to who i am now, i hate this me, your most certainly are not mad, unless we are all really mad, because i have the same thoughts. motivation is so hard when you are feeling this way, your not on your own though linny, and you will be back, best wishes VV x

  • Well if you have linny so have the rest of us !! It's just the feeling of extra pressure that Christmas many things to do, presents, food, cleaning the house etc etc and then the pressure to be 'jolly' on top wonder it's an anxious person's nightmare.

    I think the anxiety about feeling that we might let others down is a big one .....what if we just can't bring ourselves to have a big smile and the Christmas spirit. Really we would rather hide until all that extra pressure is over.

    That's my feeling about it at any rate I spend a lot of time worrying about people who are lonely or abused etc, those things tend to be worse at Christmas.

    Anyway we will get through it .......hopefully with plenty of mutual support :-) PL

  • PL what is that a picture of, i cant tell, im going to look stupid now, arent i, and thanks for always replying, VV

  • I think it's sad we wish Christmas away before it's even here, if the rest of the year isn't bad enough for us. That said my perfect Christmas would be snowed in in a cottage/cabin miles from nowhere with a roaring fire, good food, intelligent conversation, quality port and company that value peace n quiet....

  • Hollow that would be my perfect Christmas, with loads of deccies inside and outside the log cabin, with a real trea and a full moon :)

    @VV yeah, me and my kids took a good few hours building the snowman, (kids were younger then), before the kids went to school. It was when i went to pick them up at home time that it got robbed, the kids were upset cos they were only young and they put everything into building it. Its quite unbelievable, but yes, it happened, some thieving, horrible person from Huyton Liverpool robbed our snowman. It was probably the next door neighbour, she was always making trouble for me and my kids and always jealous, and the big mouthed bully of the street, she was really horrible, i was so glad i got out of there and away from that bully from next door.

  • oh linny you mean he was stolen, i thought you meant he was robbed as in someone took his wallet,

    ok mick taking over, agreed not a nice thing to happen, freezing cold hands building him and someone does that, what a strange world uh, im not having that i tell ya ill cheer your christmas up im off to find him for ya, best wishes vv

  • hahaha omg that is funny, the snowman getting mugged pmsl, u ave cheered me up thanks


  • Ah yeh I forgot about the moon! The odd stray animal passing to say hello would make up for the lack of company, a dear, squirrel, maybe a donkey I don't know why a donkey would be passing but they make me smile.

    Nice to see Huyton putting my beloved Liverpool in a good light again. Sadly these people are everywhere!

  • donkeys yes, snails no, lol

  • hey hollow,

    sounds perfect, though not snowed in id have no way off escaping, and not miles away from anywhere i cant get too far, oh and less of the intelligent conversation as you can tell, and no company i prefer my own, oh well whats left for me, got it, park me by some burning wood with a bottle of booze and a bag of crisps sorted,

    merry christmas hollow vv in a better me sounds perfect my friend,

  • Booze and crisps are all yours, give us a shout when you run dry...

  • ah forget the booze hollow, just more crisps, addicted, cant help myself i love them, why are they just so tasty, whats your one thing to eat that would just have to have hollow?

  • Hollow, whats with that picture, omg i cant look, it goes slugs snails snakes three s's just the worst, cant eat all day after i have seen one, and just think the french do eat them, really not liking that picture at all, lol VV

  • :D I like macro photography so the big scary snail was the size of a garden pea, an undersized garden pea at that :)

    I like food too much to think of one thing crispy duck and pancakes spring to mind though! Blue cheese!! Yes I'll have some blue cheese thanks, and if you've got some grapes and digestives to go with it then all the better.

  • nope still not talking to you about you know what, and i like peas!

    hey hollow, blue cheese dont know, (someone tell hollow cheese aint blue, his has gone off) cheese and grapes loverly stuff, best wishes hollow VV

  • Ahhh the mould, the mould how could you curse the cheese of mould!

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