I think I am dying.. again. (Brain tumor scare this time)

Male, 23, suffer with anxiety, stress, panic attacks, hypochondria, OCD, had a bad diet (up until a month ago), worked nights, used to drink a lot for several years and smoked cannabis nearly every day for about a year, parents broke up almost 4 years ago, constant fighting in house since i was 16, very stressful parents, very stressful home environment, i overthink everything, i'm too loving and caring (put everyone before me), and lots more i could write but you get the picture.

I'm going to jump right in and give all my symptoms that i was most worried about:

-Lump on testicle (scared of cancer, got a scan, everything seems fine awaiting results)

-Liver area felt harder, swollen, tender and painful (feared liver cancer, doctor felt it, said it's nothing to worry about)

-Feels like there is something like a ball in my liver area, can't feel it but when i sometimes sit forward it feels like something is in there.

-Weird uncomfortable feeling in testicles (still undiagnosed)

-Weird sensation in groin and neck area with lymph nodes feeling slightly bigger than normal (i'm quite thin so I can feel them always anyways, again fear of cancer)

-Constipation (eased up after start drinking lots of water & better diet)

-Diarrhea (was never too worried about it)

-Pains all over abdomen (still getting them, but have other more worrying concerns now so I don't think of them as much)

-Solar plexus area and liver area sore to the touch for a long period of time (sometimes it's quite sore and other times there isn't much pain)

-Back pain (middle right side mainly)

-Acid reflux (mainly after food or at night in bed)

-Burping up white foamy substance

-Chest pain

-Fast beating heart

-Dry cough

-Bloating and swelling in my abdominal area

-Passing lots of wind

-Occasional burning when i pee (also needing to go straight after i already went, and only a little would come out)

-Dark yellow urine i'd say 20 - 40% of the time

-Stools with white lumps

-Stools with black dots

-Stools covered in mucus

-Stools with bits of red

-Lack of energy

(and the ones i am most worried about now are)

-Blurred vision

-Double vision

-Peripheral vision seems to be lost

-Heavy eyes

-Feel like nothing is real

-Dizziness

-Headaches

-Room is spinning

-Shaky hands and body

-Derealisation

-Depersonalization

-Feeling a bit off balance

-Arms feel like they are weaker

-Feeling constantly confused, like remembering anything at all is difficult

- I am noticing that i am saying the wrong things, like i am confusing my words when typing, speaking or even thinking to myself

Right so that's my list of symptoms.. it's a lot to read, I'm sorry.

Had my first for-no-reason panic attack today. Just woke up, was sitting in my room, my vision more spinning and worse than ever, and start thinking i had a brain tumor yet again, which might have triggered the panic attack.

All these symptoms are very hard to live with. I constantly think I am going to die. Right now I think that I have a brain tumor (in the past week i noticed that I have all the symptoms). I was just with the doctors a fair bit about all of my abdominal and testicular worries and they told me it was all anxiety. Been counselling before for a few months, just started again there last week. I don't feel that talking about my problems works at all, I actually feel more dazed when I leave. I am just going so my mam stops telling me to go (she's a very persistant woman). I was also on escitalopram teva tablets for several months (maybe 5 or 6?), but came off them a few weeks ago. I still live at home because my dad is not living with us anymore and I want to financially support my mother, as my little brother is causing lots of stress to her as he isn't in school, working or doing anything with his life except sleeping and seeing his girlfriend. I just started a new job last week which is being a waiter and barman in a Golf Club. It is quite stressful as it is very busy, I have never been a waiter before, the people there are all very posh and I am expected to act as if it was a 5 star hotel, and all of these things that are wrong with me are making it very difficult. I am also working in a nightclub 3 nights a week as a bar man (have been there 4 years now).

Does anyone else have this many symptoms? And also I am very scared I have a brain tumor as I feel so zoned out and my eyes are basically useless (i normally have fine vision so i doubt it's just regular bad eye sight) and i can't concentrate on anything or remember anything. Even now typing this i feel all over the place. I dont want to go back to the doctors because he will probably just tell me it's anxiety again, and it will cost more money for nothing. What do I do?

I have had these dazed feelings for a few months now, maybe even a year, they just seem to be getting worse. My brother has them too but not as severe (but he doesn't over-think like I do so maybe that's why?) In the last month or 2 we are losing our house as we cant afford it (which doesnt seem to bother me too much but mam is freaking out) I was kicked out of the house for a weekend over mam taking out her anger on me instead of who it should have been towards. I started a new job last week which is stressful enough.

Mam is a very strange woman who would make anyone anxious (she has made my friends cry and my girlfriend) Even now she just came into the room and noticed me typing this and told me to stop that it's making her stressed and the doctors told me not to be going online about my problems. Now she is in a thick mood over that, instead of being understanding. I have anger outbursts with her about 4 times a month that make me go mental, i punch holes in walls, punch myself all over (especially face) and go mad like a lunatic for about 20 seconds. Then i calm down and regret everything I just did. It used to take a lot to get me angry (i was a big-time pacifist) but now she triggers me very easily.

I just want to feel normal again. Please help :(

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6 Replies

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  • Hey have you got tested for everything and another thing I had hypochandria look it up it's also a mental thing ....

  • I haven't got everything tested no, only some things, I went to 4 different doctors and they all put everything down to anxiety. But yeah I have hypochondria too, big time. I actually forgot to write that down.

  • Oh wait i did have it up there haha, it's in the first paragraph :)

  • Hello

    Well some years ago my anxiety started with Health Anxiety , I read your list and I could have added even more to the symptoms you have or shall we say think you have :-)

    I have to smile though because you certainly have them all programmed in to relay them of like that your anxiety is really having a good grip on you

    But at your age I would doubt very much that you have anything wrong not what you think you have anyway but the more you sorry the more you focus on your body the more you will add to that very long list

    The best thing you could do is speak with your Doctor about your anxiety

    I am not sure if you would like the idea of trying medication ( have you a meds fear because that was on my list ) but as well as medication I think some Counselling would really help you , you have been through a lot which no doubt will have contributed to all this and still is doing from what you have said and therapy would help you to get all this in perspective which once you had that would help the anxiety

    Make an appointment even if you have spoken with your Doctor before , go back again and tell them this can't go on , get the support and help you need now while you are young because you will have a lovely life waiting for you to enjoy minus the anxiety :-)

    Take Care x

  • Hey, thanks a million for the response :) I have been on escitalopram teva for up to 6 months, but they also made me feel like a zombie! So i am off them a few weeks now, but yeah I think if this dizziness continues I will make another doctors appointment. I am going to get my eyes tested tomorrow so hopefully that will help in some way. Did you really have all of those symptoms, especially the head/brain ones and were they severe or just slightly bad?

  • Hello :-)

    Well the medication you were taking may not have been the one's that suite you , there are several types and what suites one can not suite another so maybe worth trying a different one , that sounds like it was to strong for you , you need to tell them

    Getting your eyes tested will right of the Brain Tumor theory because they are the best to spot if there is anything wrong , better than the Doctors , I am sure you will get the all clear but get them done and then that is one you can cross of your list :-/

    O seriously I had them all and more which I won't tell you what they were because you will have them by tomorrow if I did :-D

    I started waiting for a heart attack from been about 14 and when I gave up on that one eventually I had all the others and more but still here so I must be a walking miracle if it had been true :-D

    Don't go looking for things wrong , our bodies can have lumps and bumps all over and if we keep looking we will find something we think is wrong but it is just the way we are nothing serious and anxiety as I have experienced can give you physical symptoms that do feel real

    Trust the Doctors , think about it they have been to medical school for a few years to become a Doctor and after all that they don't want to be struck of so why would they say there was nothing wrong if there was , it would be more than their job was worth !

    Think about getting some Counselling , I really think sorting out the pass and what has just happened and what is still happening would really help :-) x

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