Back with a vengeance!

[izzywhizz]

Hi everybody and especially to Jonathan whose replies to everyone's blogs always make me feel better so when i couldn't see any from you it made me feel worse than ever! got ready for work yesterday with no problems and by 2pm i was feeling a? s anxious as i every have and i don't know why. still on my meds, relationship ok and sort of looking forward to christmas. i felt so bad last night that i went to bed really early and couldn't face work today. physical feelings are back and i just can't be bothered to do a thing! do the effectivenss of pills wear off or have i just gotten used to them - been on them since end of July? at one point today i thought of just taking every pill in the house as just when i start feeling better i seem to have massive set backs - does anyone else have this? please help x

[Hidden]

Hi. izzy. Haven't spoken to you for some time and I am really sorry to hear you are feeling rotten again. You are having a 'setback'. Something has sensitised you again and made you feel bad. Don't go looking for reasons. You may not find one and, anyway, you have to deal with the present condition. You can become 'tolerant' to some pills and only your GP can advise on this. It may be you need different ones. You are also on the good old roller coaster, up one minute and down the next. A very,very common symptom of anxiety.Nothing unusual; we have all been there but it is so confusing, isn't it? This will pass but you need to have strategy for long term use. The only one is total ACCEPTANCE of your feelings. Please do not despair when I say this. By accepting them you take the 'sting' out of them and they cease to be the monsters we think they are. "IT will try and waylay you at every turn, but you CAN and WILL win, I am sure of it. Bless you. Love. jonathan.

[izzywhizz]

thank you Jonathan and as always you talk complete sense and i really value your comments. I hate this illness with a passion as its so clever and sneaky and gets you just when you need it least in your life. I just don't understand how one minute you seem fine and the next completely bowled over by it. It scares me so much and i can truely understand how non-sufferers just can't seem to 'get it'. My partner just tells me to not let things build up around me, like christmas, and prioritise things and get them out of the way. What he doesn't understand is that i can't. Today I just stared at my christmas cards but just couldn't touch them - why is that? i'm a grown woman with 3 perfectly healthy and happy children, 20, 18 and 11. I have a good job with the NHS. what on earth has happened to me? will i ever find an answer before it all becomes too much xxx

[Hidden in reply to izzywhizz]

Hi. izzy. When we are in a real anxiety state the energy levels are very low. You are 'depleted' and to be enthusiastic about anything is nigh impossible. We need energy to be interested in every day life. Being a grown women with healthy children has little to do with it. Many highly skilled and intelligent people suffer from anxiety.

Something has sensitised you and you are having difficulty understanding how to get out. You sound bewildered and who wouldn't be? But if you are looking for an answer as to why you may look in vain. But is it so important to find out why? As Penny says, hormones can cause problems when women suffer with this and I do not feel competent to advise on this. Perhaps your GP may help there. This may be the cause of the 'up and down' feeling you are having. But it seems to me like good old fashioned anxiety and I know because I have had these symptoms too. Penny makes a good point about the 'block' and it seems to me that this is caused by resistance. This is that the desire to 'get rid' of the feeling is so great that the feeling itself overwhelms us and we get beyond reason. Sorry, sounds complicated but it is difficult to explain. Deep down you are your old self but can you liken it to a flood? The waters have to subside before we can see where we are going. Try not to punish yourself with recrimination and guilt. It is not your fault. Try and just accept it for the moment. This is not easy, izzy, but it is, to me, the only way out. It does take time, like the flood, for the waters to subside. Bless you. Much love. jonathan.

[Pennylayne]

Hi Izzy ......don't think we've 'met' .....anxiety does creep up behind you doesn't it. It's a bit like having a 'block' that's stopping you from getting on and approaching things as you used to.

Having struggled quite a lot in the past few months I know where you are coming from, I have now realised that my anxiety became a lot worse in the lead up to the menopause and as I went through it. The oestrogen levels dropping so dramatically definitely interferes with your brain chemistry. I think that's why so many of us who are anxiety prone anyway need SSRI's etc when we get to that stage.

I don't think that effectiveness of the meds wears off but I found that at certain times of greater stress they were not the whole answer After all SSRI's only affect one chemical ......there are others so having more seratonin helps but isn't the whole picture.

I suppose the only answer is to try ( hard I know ) to see that it will all be done and dusted in a few weeks ......we will cope and come out the other end ......I guess that is the acceptance bit ..we are only human and we have hormones and brain chemicals not behaving in the most useful way.

Then Christmas is like something you need super woman powers to sort out and with a career and 3 children .......wow I have the most admiration for women who can cope with that lot .......not to mention the hormones.

You know the most important thing is that the family know you love them and they will have food and some presents etc at Christmas.....it doesn't have to be perfect, the house doesn't need to be all sorted, let the kids do the tree and decorations and give them jobs to do in the kitchen.

Your OH sounds like he does want to help, tell him you may need to rely on him a bit more than usual ......you will get there and after all it's just about family and being together, not a picture perfect Christmas.

Take Care PL

[izzywhizz]

hello everyone. at long last I have started feeling a bit better. I haven't done anything different but just woke up today and didnt have the black cloud hanging over me. Please let this be the way forward and not some hoax where i will wake up tomorrow and feel rubbish again. I truely will never understand this vile illness where something unseen can have such a massive hold over us for no reason whatsoever. thank you so much for your comments; i really take such strength from them. Izzy xx