Two steps forward, one step back

[daisy459]

Horrible day today.

Had a bad nights sleep, woke up at 2.30am and couldn't get back to sleep for a good hour and then woke again at 5am so got up at 5.45am. Felt really sick and wobbly.

Booked into the doctors as not sure i wanted to keep taking the tablets (Prozac) they gave me (started Monday, today is day 5 on them) but feeling bad motion sickness and feeling like i'm on a boat and not really there. Made the short drive but then panic set in as felt so rubbish. Had to queue to get in the reception to book in and then when i sat down i was struggling to keep it together. Took my book but it wasn't going in, just a slight distraction. My heart was beating fast, i was shaking and i just wanted to get out. Had i have had to wait another 2 mins i think i would have run if my legs had let me.

So they call my name and as soon as i get in the docs room i have pretty much a panic attack. I can't hardly talk, breathing funny, shaking, wobbly, crying, horrible, horrible, horrible.

When i calm down, he explains that sometimes these tablets make you feel worse before better and to be feeling like this meant they were starting to work. He wants me to keep going with them and gave me some other tablets to take the edge off of what the Prozac was making me feel. Didn't pick up the prescription as just wanted to get home asap so had to spend the whole day on the sofa, not daring to move much as felt sick when i did as feel so wobbly. Signed off work for a week. Still feel dizzy now.

it's not helping that i can't hear properly still due to congestion in my ears.

So not a good day, i just hope i feel better in the morning...

[milo1]

HI DAISY sorry to hear that your not well but i like you took meds and i took them for ten days i had to stop them as i really did get worse some people can tolerate this but i could not what has your doctor given you to take with the prozac just remember it is your body and mind and if you dont think these tabs are working please go back to doctor again x

[hollow]

Sorry you're not having a good day, it's so cruel anxiety, gives you a day off makes you feel like you are just starting to crack it then... Wham!! It reminds you it hasn't gone far. That and the stupid physical reactions drive me up the wall, everything you mention in fact. Try to bear in mind it's a setback it happens to us unfortunately. Tomorrow you will feel better, believe it.

[Lions13]

Hi Daisy, hope you are feeling better now.

I hope you don’t mind, but I have rewritten your story with a different slant.

“Managed to sleep until 2:30am, before waking up. About an hour later I managed to get to sleep for another couple of hours, before waking at 5am. Got up at 5:45am and despite feeling sick and wobbly I booked into the Drs, because I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep taking the tablets. Was able to make the drive to the Drs, despite feeling rubbish, and the fact panic was setting in. Waited in the queue at reception to book in. I remembered to take my book and although it wasn’t going in, it worked as a distraction. Even though my heart was beating fast, and I was shaking and wanted to get out I waited another 2 minutes until they called my name.

When they called my name I get into the Drs room and I can barely talk, breathing funny, shaking, wobbly, crying, horrible, horrible, horrible. I manage to calm myself down and he explains that sometimes these tablets make you feel worse before better and to be feeling like this meant they were starting to work. He wants me to keep going with them and gave me some other tablets to take the edge of what the Prozac was making me feel. It is only due to me contacting the Dr that I got a prescription for these other tablets.

Didn’t pick up the prescription as I wanted to get home as soon as possible after everything I had already managed to achieve, despite how bad I was feeling.

Took a well-deserved rest on the sofa, and signed off work for a week as that is what is best for me right now. This congestion in my ears doesn’t help, but despite not having a good day I still managed to come on to the forum to share my experience.

Not a good day, but I survived and on reflection I achieved a lot. Well done me. Hope I feel better in the morning.”

It is sometimes hard to see everything we have achieved when we are feeling unwell. We focus on the negative parts, and tend to filter out anything positive we have achieved. I personally think you deserve a big pat on the back.

Well done you.

J x

[Madga in reply to Lions13]

I think that this is the way forward, using language positively to narrate our own lives...however it is a skill that has to be learnt ....maybe as a distraction model we could re write bad situations using positive reinforcements as you have demonstrated....defiantly worth a try .....in fact I shall start a re write the day/ event journal....thanx for idea x

[milo1]

HI DAISY how are you feeling today did you manage a little sleep have you got anything planned for today hope you are a little better x speak later

[daisy459]

Wow, it's amazing what a little re-righting does J! Thank you, you really have made it seem like i did achieve something yesterday.

Feeling a lot more positive today Milo. The affects of the tablets seem to have lessened again now and i feel a lot more level. Slept really well, no doubt something to do with the new tablets but either way all good.

Made it to the bakery and butcher along with my other half and going to get out on my bike this afternoon to hopefully do some Geocaching (kind of like a treasure hunt! - google it) out in the quiet Fens

Hope you are all loving the beautiful weather too and are having a good day :).

[clairep]

Hello Daisy i was going to say you done really well still carrying on with what u had to do regardless of how u were feeling.Sitting in a doctors waiting room was really good practice for you and u coped really well.Maybe write it down as a sucess story then when ur having a bad day u can reflect on it and remind yourself of how well your doing.Todays another day so glad u feel better and slept better.Enjoy your day x

claire x

[Dibble]

GP should not just give you MEDS. Supposed to offer you therapy too.

Have a look here and enter your postcode to see what is local to you; nhs.uk/ServiceDirectories/P...

There will be a list of NHS (IAPT) services if you click the link after putting in you postcode. Talk to your GP about this. You should be able to phone him/her so don't have to go back. Also you can go to some NHS therapy services without a GP referral so look for your local one which takes self-referral, and give them a call.

D.

[daisy459]

I'm waiting for therapy D. Spoke to them the other day after doc referred me and they are sending a letter which will take a couple of weeks. Thanks for the link, i'll have a look

Thanks too Claire x

[Melgil58]

Hello Daisy im sorry your having a bad time but You didn't run out you stayed to see the dr iv had to leave before now that's a victory for you you had the panic attack the dr saw it he knows your having a hard time now in case you thought he she maybe didnt believe you a victory They didnt rush you off to hospital with something horrible a victory and you calmed down enuf to get home without any mishap another victory. I know its hard hard hard when the panics set in and I hope you'll feel better when the meds settle down you take good care of your self. ....Mel

[Zola]

Hi Daisy,

My GP didn't suggest prozac. He started me on Citralopram (I think that is spelt right!) and then put me on to VENLAUC XL 75mg which is very good. I haven't notice any bad side effects. My GP did say that it is more expensive but that I was worth it (I have a great GP). I am not depressed, just anxious and this medication inhibits the anxiety response in the brain. You can still worry etc but you are less anxious. I hope you feel better soon. I had an experience similar to yours in the GP waiting room. My worst panic attack was on a hen weekend which was made me feel even worse! Take Care. PS. It will get better.