I've always had a fear of trains but especialy the train tracks. I remember nightmares I had as a child but have no clue why, but i have always avoided travelling by train i'd rather go all round the houses by bus if i have to but I would much rather walk if possible.
So now My partner and I are trying to sort things out and get back together after being apart for about six months which was my fault as i didn't realise that all the moods i was having were down to anxiety, panic and depression and not his actions.
We had planned to go for a day out today and i was really looking forward to it.
So we walked to the train station and I knew i was getting panicky the closer we got then we was walking down the stairs to the platform and there they were.............THE TRACKS argh i tried to keep it together but i just couldn't And i burst into tears (how silly lol)
My partner was so lovely he tried to talk me round, asked me why i was so frightened (i have no clue) even offered to take me back home But I refused to give in and remembering all the great advice i'd been given on here in the past I did it!!! I waited there holding his hand for the train and when it arrived i got on, had a wonderful day shopping with a few anxiety/panic attacks (thoughts of dropping down dead in the middle of the place) throughout the day but it was worth the effort.
I'm tired now a bit tearful but maybe thats relief that i'm home safely
Fell asleep only to wake with heart palps and fears that I'm dying now in even more tears I'm really starting to think I can't cope with the downs anymore!!! I just don't know what to do
Hope you've all had a better day than usual