Anyone get obsessive and intrusive thoughts fuelling anxiety?

[hedgecrone]

I have a history of anxiety and depression. Sometimes my anxiety is focused on health anxiety, but sometimes it's my 'comparing' obsession where I compare myself unfavourably to other people and feel inadequate, envious, resentful and panicky and it's horrible because I also feel terribly guilty about feeling as I do. It also makes me compare my relationship with my husband of 39 years to those of friends and family and when I see other couples doing things differently, being happy with each other etc I obsess that our relationship isn't working and feel terrible panic and lose faith in my ability to love. Because I am very anxious and have a diagnosis of Borderline PD, I find criticism of any kind hard to take and am rather high maintenance.I wish I could be different and I find myself feeling totally hopeless that anything will ever change. I fixate and obsess about anything that sparks my anxiety - if my brother sends an email saying he and his wife have been somewhere I will obsess about that because we haven't been there! I can see it's ridiculous but I can't do anything to stop it and the panic and anxiety goes on. Anyone relate to this?

[Cleaner]

Hi hedgecrone, I thought I was the only person that have these feelings . I also suffer from Genaral Anxiety Disorder & Borderline PD. I have had CBT which helped at the time but as soon as I'm left to get on with it by myself all the Anxiaty and stupid thoughts come back.

So I'm sorry to say it just goes on and on. Take care and im glad you posted this c

[Pickle165]

HI cleaner, my ocd is always worse when im ill, my mind at the moment is going round and round with why am i ill. got an infection at moment and its totally hightened my bad thoughts and routines that need to be carried out of something bad with happen. x

[Dibble]

Hi Hedgecrone,

You can stop it but it will take time and effort. You should understand when it started and what the triggers are. CBT may be some help, but counselling could be more beneficial to begin with. Ask your GP, or see if you can self-refer to IAPT, which is the NHS therapy servioce, though chiefly CBT based -

iapt.nhs.uk/services

Many GP's can also refer you to counselling.

OCD action has an active forum and you may get some day to day support there; ocdaction.org.uk

Don't give in,

D

[hedgecrone]

HI and thanks all for your replies. I am being referred for MBT because I've had a diagnosis or Borderline Personality Disorder (though I don't fit all the categories by a long shot!). I've had CBT and psychotherapy in the past. CBT didn't help much but it did teach me what my thinking errors are. However I didn't find I felt any different and still believe what my brain is telling me over what is rational! Maybe, at 59, I am too old for any real change and have to accept I will always feel like this? I would like to feel I can make changes even if small, but it's like baling out the sea with a thimble!

I won't give up - but I feel such despair at times when I feel bad for no apparent reason and guilt and terrible shame, because my life is NOT hard and I shouldn't feel like this at all, whereas there are others who struggle with incredible difficulties and with severe stress. That used to be me, but things have improved in many ways - so I ought to be feeling better, rather than worse, and I don't want to waste my life feeling like this so often!