Intrusive thoughts.

Please don't judge me.

I've being experiencing intrusive thoughts for a year now but I have never spoken about them to anyone. I can't shake them off and the topics switch.

Right now, I'm having one about physically harming people I love.

I think I mainly get them because I was brought up in a household where my dad was abusive towards my mum.

I'm scared in case it's genetic and I'll hurt people too.

I also always think back to when I was like ten or eleven and I punched my best friend for no reason like I don't know why I did it. That was years ago but I still feel insanely bad about it. I'm eighteen now.

I feel like I'm going to lose control.

Am I capable of hurting someone? Like could I just lose myself and do something crazy? Am i a bad person?

- Chloe.

[waqasvic]

you are not going to lose control , intrusive thoughts happen when you have anxiety disorder, shaking them is hard i know but eventually they will go away . the more you strees the more they will happen .. try some tea ... or chocolate . will help you alot .. do check your heart rate too.. if it is fast then i can tell you some tips to fix it .. most of the anxiety related problems are caused by fast heart rate .. i mean just a bit fast from 93 to 98 beats per minute . dont worry i think you will be fine ..

[Hidden in reply to waqasvic]

Thank you, I'll take your advice. I know deep down it's ridiculous but sometimes you need reassurance.

[waqasvic in reply to Hidden]

Trust me I been through worst roads of anxiety and panic disorder .. you will be fine just let it happen and give it some time

[Stay_strong85 in reply to waqasvic]

I'm there.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Hidden]

It is not ridiculous, we have a real medical condition, or disorder if you will...and it is not ridiculous to suffer. I understand fully. I am struggling severely. Unfortunately had to start meds, after ten plus years avoiding them and managing on my own. Started at 18, now 31 year old female...Bad idea not accepting it then. Be well and don't be hard on yourself. Do seek help if needed though. We are here for you, and straggling with you. 😙😊

[Hidden in reply to Stay_strong85]

I feel like you know exactly what I'm going through so thank you. I tried getting help a year ago when it all started happening but you're right I need to accept it and realise it's okay to struggle. Thanks.

[Stay_strong85 in reply to Hidden]

I am glad to help. 😊😚

[sunnyg in reply to waqasvic]

What are your tips to fix the heart rate? Thank you, you are very inspirational.

[waqasvic in reply to sunnyg]

I use to take beta blockers . I mean if you get fast heart rate you get adrenaline rush problem!s that create anxiety and panic . . Anyways drink fresh fruit juices to fix the heart rate . A breathing exercises can be done for like 10 minute a day .. check if you get from 92 to 98 heart beats per minute .. them it's a fast one

[Pinksocks]

Its tough I too struggle with intrusive thoughts and freak out about things.One thing I recently read in a book is that its all caused by adrenaline In your body and not to introspect, its anxiety playing tricks on you x

[Hidden in reply to Pinksocks]

I didn't know that tbh, maybe I should research it more. Thank you for replying.

[Gambit62]

you may find this post gives you some ideas and helps you understand a bit more about what is happening

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

I remember my dad telling me years ago that people worried about me and my temper - would have been about 10 - these things stick with you but actually at 10 a lot of your social control mechanisms haven't developed. The fact that you are worrying about it makes it unlikely that you would lash out - but it may indicate that you have some issues around the behaviour you had from your father and impact on yourself and those around you that is bubbling below the surface and it might be an idea to try and get some professional support in dealing with that.

[Hidden in reply to Gambit62]

Thank you and yeah I agree, I know the reasons behind it really but you're right. I'm trying to get help.

[Alis6552]

I've had those thoughts too and never said anything to anyone. I was afraid to look at the knives in the kitchen.. and exactly like you say the fear that you will just lose control or something. Looking back I don't think I was on the right meds and it was a weird manifestation of my anxiety. I also used to have an intrusive thought of fearing that I'd lose it one day and become schizophrenic. Now my anxiety revolves around health anxiety. My bfs mom has cancer bad and now I'm constantly checking my body for stuff and I have a swollen lymph node and cannot stop thinking all day long what if it's lymphoma

[Carla89 in reply to Alis6552]

Omg I could cry everything you have put is me the thought about knives and the cancer I Carnot believe how similar we are have u got yours under control I've had to give up my job and move in with inlaws for some help with kids my life's falling apart sometimes I wish I wasn't here no more x

[Hidden in reply to Alis6552]

Your comment is so comforting because I can relate to it so much. My intrusive thoughts switch and they're terrifying but I'm like you, how do I tell people without sounding crazy? I hope things get better for you though.

[waqasvic]

i have a childhood memory too sometimes it dont go away from head and makes me feel anxious but i know it wont kill me so i let it happen

[TriggerPoint]

Intrusive Thoughts ?* EVERYBODY Has Had Them At Some Time Or Another Even If They Don't Have An Anxiety Disorder. If They Say They Haven't They Lie. Everybody Gets Attacks Of "Intrusive Thoughts". Those Thoughts YOU Can't Believe Crossed Your Mind. The Ones You Would Never Tell Anyone You Had. EVERYTHING You Have Ever Experienced, Heard, & Seen Is "RECORDED" From The Very Day You Are Born. Your Mind Will "Recall". But YOUR Mind Will Put YOU In A Situational Thought. Why ? It's YOUR Mind. We Live In A World That's Good. But There Is The Flip Side Of That Coin Which Is Evil. Heck, You Watch Your Local News & You Are Filled With Horrific News Reports Of Murders, Abuses, Acts Of Insanity, & Much More. [ not counting scary movies, & stories that require your imagination to decipher situational conditions whether they be good or bad. ] Let's Say You're Out In A Public Place. You Didn't Sleep Well or/ You Are Having Some Anxiety Or Something Physical That Doesn't Feel Right. You Feel Kinda "Out Of Control" Because You Can't Just Make It Go Away. Then ? Here Comes An "Intrusive Thought". Fear Sets In Immediately. You're Like, "Where Did That Come From" ?* "How Could I Think Such A Thing" ?* Well ? "ALL THE ABOVE". If You Were Born In A Bubble World & Nobody Ever Told You, You Can Choke To Death On A Apple Seed ? It Would Never Cross Your Mind At All. The Fact That It Bothers You Is A Good Thing ! You Have A Conscious . I Hope This Helps In Some Way My Friend. Prayers For Ya~*