Scared of holidays :(

Hello Everyone, I hope everyone is having a nice day. Myself and my husband booked a trip to new York in about November last year. I have always been anxious about travelling as it was while on holiday I first had my anxiety break down (about 7/8 years ago) I had been on paroxatine since then which worked wonders. We actually got married in Cyprus and although I was worried the anxiety would return while there I was fine. I came off my paroxatine the end of last year only to end up right back where I started, severe anxiety, racing horrible thoughts etc. I have been back on paroxatine for four months and and getting there slowly. We were due to travel to new York in may but moved it to September as I believed I would be completely better. Well sept is just round the corner and I'm dreading it. I feel anxious every time I think about it. I'm so scared I get there and totally loose it. I don't want the anxiety to beat me and I know if I don't go I'm only making things worse by avoiding things. Anyone else have an experience like this?

16 Replies

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  • Sadly yes, I've been in the same boat but I thought sod it, if it happens it happens it will be no different than if it was to happen on my way to work, people would help me, there are hospitals/doctors if there really is something wrong with me, if I want to bail I can jump a taxi and be back in my hotel and have a lie down. I took it probably a bit easier than I would normally on a trip so I kind of compromised with my anxiety rather than completely fight against it as I think sometimes when you set you're mind to fight it your mind then focuses more on the negative and starts the cycle off. I didn't have an attack by the way. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you distraction helps and what better way to distract yourself than being in NY. Mentally pack your anxiety in a suitcase and leave it at the check-in desk and enjoy your holiday, you deserve it!

  • Well said!

  • Thank you hollow, It's such a pain because I'm always dreaming of traveling and when I get the chance I end up worrying about it. I like the idea of packing my anxiety in a case, I will try that :) It's just the fear of loosing controll or loosing my mind. Mind u I'm sure I'm probably more sane than many in NY lol

  • I would rather lose my mind in NY (where it would prob go unnoticed) than on the train to work, what kind of a tale is that to tell future grandchildren. Grandad lost his mind on the 8.35 to Manchester is not much of a tale compared to 'Grandad went absolutely mental in Central Park, freaked the pigeons out, the Japanese tourists took photos, the guy selling hotdogs was amazing and let him sit in his chair until he calmed down while the FBI hid in the bushes watching just in case he was a terrorist...!' Losing control is my biggest fear, well actually losing myself to anxiety is my biggest fear which is why I went away. I actually found it easier to do than going to the supermarket. Don't let it win.

  • Anxiety is  natural reaction to feared situations. But people with anxiety disorder get them without any logical reasons. You don't have to suffer from it . There are effective treat for it...

  • Very well said.  The truth with a side of humor  :)

  • HI, im getting my knickers in a twist about one night away and its only about an hour to an hour and half away! i seem to get some kind of extra safty at home in my mind but the fact of the matter is that its not nice where ever you are so go and enjoy yourself and make sure you have any of things with you that seem to help. x

  • hello you, I feel for you, I haven't booked a flight since my symptoms started but I took a train to Paris and I was ok, it was only 2 hours but made it!!! you have your husband with you and I would suggest do not think about it, just forget that you are going on holiday until you have to pack the suitcases, then think about laughs you will be having and most important thing the sun that we never see in UK :) think that the anxiety you will be having is cause of the excitement not anything else. take bags of chamomile, take one at home before you go and bags on the flight, as for hot water and sip chamomile until you reach, don't think about it at all!!!

    please let me know how it goes!!!xx

  • Thank you all so much, I think it just helps to know I'm not alone and others feel the same. I will keep you posted :) xxx

  • Hello,

    Firstly, I feel for you and I hope that you go. I can only speak from experience, but I'm home alone now whilst my husband and 3 children are on holiday. I feel sad, guilty and very anxious and as if I've made a big mistake. Sorry, because I'm now hijacking your post but, with the benefit of hindsight, I should have gone. I was terribly anxious about going but was just about psyched up for it. My husband and I were rowing quite a bit beforehand. I am convinced I self-sabotage! Anyhow, my worst nightmare happened and we suddenly realised tickets were for yesterday not today. The rest of the family packed very quickly, but I just froze. I couldn't do it. In the end, I got in the car and just sat around the corner til they'd all gone. I woke up feeling dreadful and carrying an awful lot of guilt.

    My advice to you is, be honest, tell people (who love you) just how difficult you find this...be kind to yourself, give yourself plenty of time to pack, and do go.

    Lots of luck x

  • Oh no hensteeth, I really feel for you, it is so so hard. Don't punish yourself though, it's not your fault at all, it's so hard when people don't understand how you feel. Sometimes i just wish my husband would feel like I do for five mins so he could understand. I don't know if this is an option but when I went to Cyprus for my wedding my extended family were there. I really felt it helped having lots of familiar people with me. Maybe this is something that might work for you? It's just me and my husband going to NY and that is making me feel uneasy. Maybe all us anxious people should all go on holiday together lol :)

  • i've already suggested that to one of the Greek Islands :)

  • So sorry to hear you couldn't make it, fully understand where you are coming from tho, anxiety is a ******* of an illness,condition, call it what you will. Don't feel guilty, it's hard for people to understand that sometimes you just can't do it whether it's going the shop or going away. Was it perhaps too a big a chunk you were taking? Have you or are you seeking help for your anxiety?

  • Thank you for all your answers. They really do help. Hollow, I hope I replied to you, my response seemed to disappear, hope you got it!

    I love the idea of a holiday for people who are scared of going on holiday. Bizarrely, it would probably be quite a laugh! xx

  • Me to, it might be the key to success :) x

  • Have you tried CBT? I am working with anxiety sufferer everyday and we are very successful in treating anxiety. 

    There are techniques to learn to get you out of the anxiety cycle. Are you living in he UK?

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